Day26 Listening to the sound of my own written word
When I write something, there is a sound to it. I mean this in a really practical sense. Even though I am not using my vocal cords, or "speaking" with my voice, I am speaking, but through written words. So there is a sound to what I am writing, as if I am speaking it. And I can hear this sound. Not with my ears but inside of me as I speak/write the words. Doing this, I can tell things about me. Listening to how I sound when speaking as these written words is just like listening to me when I am speaking with my voice. I can hear the hidden things within me, well they aren't really hidden because I can See it!
Listening to my sound when I am communicating I can tell who I am in the real time moment. I basically can tell when I am not clear within me, and saying something tricky, or nasty, or dishonest. And I can hear when I am standing as what is best for all. I can hear when I am standing with clarity, and self-honesty.
What I notice is that my body responds or more like it stands in synchronicity with my sound in the moment. When I sound what is best for all as a standing, as a loud voice that is clear in where I stand my body is in sync with the sound, like my heat in my body, my blood pressure, my breathing, my activation of my body is in sync. When I am standing in a particular reaction, my body can get sick, it feels cold, weak in my muscles, irregular breathing.
Now what is my experience in my body when standing as this sound of what is best for all. So my body has more heat. There is a slight pain, though it feels like a natural pain from just the body being the body. Meaning that as the body heats up, there is a certain movement of the cells which causes something that feel like pain. So its not enjoyable per se, nor is it painful, like unbearable pain. It is a strength and empowerment yet its a calmness and relaxness. I am not overexerting myself. I am not pushing past my limits, like I would with feeling anger. In feeling anger as an emotion I feel empowered and that feels good. The difference is that with anger it feels like overexerting and feels like I am pushing past the limits of the body in a bad way, or unnecessary way. While standing as what is best for all there is a natural resting state yet also strong and empowered. It doesn't make me feel high, it doesn't feel positive or good in that sense. Though it feels good in the resting sense and empowered sense, yet not needlessly pushing or doing things. It is much more clear, calculated, channeled and focused. How love feels in the body in comparison is that love is unbearable pain throughout the body, like little knives or daggers stabbing me throughout the body, a true torturous experience. And its needless, and its there just motivate me to act, to move, in the way the program wants me to, which is to act out the love.
I found is that the sync between the sound of me communicating and my body is an important cross-reference. It can reveal much to me in real time. Because if its not sync then there is a disconnect, something is off, I am lying to myself, I am hiding, suppressing something, I am not living fully here or communicating fully here. For example I can try and communicate, yet I can hear it in my voice when I am not standing fully within myself, within my empowerment, within my stand as what is best for all. And I can see it in my body, as being weak, sick feeling, tired. Like I can actually feel it/see it as my body's state, and its my body actually changing in the moment.
The voice inside of me is the real me. The sound I make. So when that voice is absent, that means its being suppressed by me. And so I have to investigate this suppression. I also notice is that I can stand up as this voice while the suppression is here, and then I can see the suppression in my throat. So while speaking like this, even silently in my head, or written in paper, or typing on the computer or however way of communicating I can do it, and then I can see the suppression in my throat which feels like a tightness, and a pushing of the voice down.
Understand what I am saying here in the above paragraph is something that is like you are alone in the dark with nothing, no support, no one. And you try to look for yourself but you so no inkling anywhere of yourself. So from there you must be able to stand and find yourself and your voice. Within that I can find myself without having any indication or cross-reference from the body or anything else within me. I just KNOW that this ME that I find within me is the real me. I know because I know this me stands for what is best for all and will do so no matter what, no matter the challenge, no matter if I am sick or diseased or old, or weak, or poor, or hungry. And so from that knowing I can act/move without the cross-reference of the body, and within that I develop/create the strength, the power, the empowerment, the heat of the body. And then from there the voice naturally arises. That is what is like when I am facing a suppression that is quite strong.
What I notice about suppression is that it is silent and it is about keeping everything silent. Its about silencing the voice that dares to say what is best for all. Its about keeping everything quiet, nothing moving, nothing sensed, seen, or heard. Suppression is about stopping the change that changes the mind, and self that is the mind that must be changed for you to live what is best for all. Its mind-defense mechanism to prevent changing the mind. And its you who does it. Its that part of you that supports the mind, supports it because of all the enjoyment you get out of it, the entertainment, the positivity, the love you get from it.
There is nothing good about oneness and equality. Because there is nothing in the Good of this world, the positivity of this world that supports oneness and equality. The positivity and good of the world wants individuality as specialness, as the more than, as the less than, as the winners, as the perfect romance relationship, as the wealth, and rich, as the spirituality, as the heavens, as the soul and god, and the after life, as the meditation, enlightenment, gurus, drugs, non-stop sex, and parties. The positivity of the world doesn't include the world with it, it doesn't include everyone in it, it excludes. So there is nothing good about oneness and equality because oneness and equality includes everything and nothing in what is good includes everyone. Exclusivity sucks yo~!
Oneness and Equality includes everything and everyone. If you resist this then you are part of the problem, because this is the solution. When we take shortcuts, when we take the easy way out, we do so at the expense of something or someone, and that can include yourself. Having that equal value and regard for everything and taking that action to make sure everything is cared for, that is oneness and equality. That isn't practiced or lived in this world. The most highest good and positive things in this world don't include this world as everything even. The problem is the positivity itself, because positivity is about division and self-interest. Self-interest is a problem as long as you resist oneness and equality and living it. There is nothing entertaining or good about oneness and equality, it is hard-work. It is responsibility, it is honesty. The Good and Positivity is the problem, because we defend it and we are addicted to it. We shape/form our personalities and thoughts around the Positivity and the Good. These are just words, if you look at the behavior and the real inner experience of people participating in the Positive and Good there you see the Truth! Look within your body and you will see the truth of who you are! Its not pretty at all.
It takes a lot of mental effort to create fantastical illusion of positive and good in whatever form it takes. Because its not real and it doesn't exist in your body. It only exists in your head and your body suffers for it! Seeing it for yourself is the only way to be sure. And knowing how to tell the difference between the body and what you make up in your head is important. That is what must be practice. The practice of breathing, of looking inside yourself, of sensing your body and feeling what goes on within you and questioning what is causing it, finding the source of your experiences inside you and reaching the point of self within you where everything is clear and you understand all that is happening within you in a moment. And being able to recognize yourself when you are standing for what is best for all, and what that sounds like within you.
Listening to my sound when I am communicating I can tell who I am in the real time moment. I basically can tell when I am not clear within me, and saying something tricky, or nasty, or dishonest. And I can hear when I am standing as what is best for all. I can hear when I am standing with clarity, and self-honesty.
What I notice is that my body responds or more like it stands in synchronicity with my sound in the moment. When I sound what is best for all as a standing, as a loud voice that is clear in where I stand my body is in sync with the sound, like my heat in my body, my blood pressure, my breathing, my activation of my body is in sync. When I am standing in a particular reaction, my body can get sick, it feels cold, weak in my muscles, irregular breathing.
Now what is my experience in my body when standing as this sound of what is best for all. So my body has more heat. There is a slight pain, though it feels like a natural pain from just the body being the body. Meaning that as the body heats up, there is a certain movement of the cells which causes something that feel like pain. So its not enjoyable per se, nor is it painful, like unbearable pain. It is a strength and empowerment yet its a calmness and relaxness. I am not overexerting myself. I am not pushing past my limits, like I would with feeling anger. In feeling anger as an emotion I feel empowered and that feels good. The difference is that with anger it feels like overexerting and feels like I am pushing past the limits of the body in a bad way, or unnecessary way. While standing as what is best for all there is a natural resting state yet also strong and empowered. It doesn't make me feel high, it doesn't feel positive or good in that sense. Though it feels good in the resting sense and empowered sense, yet not needlessly pushing or doing things. It is much more clear, calculated, channeled and focused. How love feels in the body in comparison is that love is unbearable pain throughout the body, like little knives or daggers stabbing me throughout the body, a true torturous experience. And its needless, and its there just motivate me to act, to move, in the way the program wants me to, which is to act out the love.
I found is that the sync between the sound of me communicating and my body is an important cross-reference. It can reveal much to me in real time. Because if its not sync then there is a disconnect, something is off, I am lying to myself, I am hiding, suppressing something, I am not living fully here or communicating fully here. For example I can try and communicate, yet I can hear it in my voice when I am not standing fully within myself, within my empowerment, within my stand as what is best for all. And I can see it in my body, as being weak, sick feeling, tired. Like I can actually feel it/see it as my body's state, and its my body actually changing in the moment.
The voice inside of me is the real me. The sound I make. So when that voice is absent, that means its being suppressed by me. And so I have to investigate this suppression. I also notice is that I can stand up as this voice while the suppression is here, and then I can see the suppression in my throat. So while speaking like this, even silently in my head, or written in paper, or typing on the computer or however way of communicating I can do it, and then I can see the suppression in my throat which feels like a tightness, and a pushing of the voice down.
Understand what I am saying here in the above paragraph is something that is like you are alone in the dark with nothing, no support, no one. And you try to look for yourself but you so no inkling anywhere of yourself. So from there you must be able to stand and find yourself and your voice. Within that I can find myself without having any indication or cross-reference from the body or anything else within me. I just KNOW that this ME that I find within me is the real me. I know because I know this me stands for what is best for all and will do so no matter what, no matter the challenge, no matter if I am sick or diseased or old, or weak, or poor, or hungry. And so from that knowing I can act/move without the cross-reference of the body, and within that I develop/create the strength, the power, the empowerment, the heat of the body. And then from there the voice naturally arises. That is what is like when I am facing a suppression that is quite strong.
What I notice about suppression is that it is silent and it is about keeping everything silent. Its about silencing the voice that dares to say what is best for all. Its about keeping everything quiet, nothing moving, nothing sensed, seen, or heard. Suppression is about stopping the change that changes the mind, and self that is the mind that must be changed for you to live what is best for all. Its mind-defense mechanism to prevent changing the mind. And its you who does it. Its that part of you that supports the mind, supports it because of all the enjoyment you get out of it, the entertainment, the positivity, the love you get from it.
There is nothing good about oneness and equality. Because there is nothing in the Good of this world, the positivity of this world that supports oneness and equality. The positivity and good of the world wants individuality as specialness, as the more than, as the less than, as the winners, as the perfect romance relationship, as the wealth, and rich, as the spirituality, as the heavens, as the soul and god, and the after life, as the meditation, enlightenment, gurus, drugs, non-stop sex, and parties. The positivity of the world doesn't include the world with it, it doesn't include everyone in it, it excludes. So there is nothing good about oneness and equality because oneness and equality includes everything and nothing in what is good includes everyone. Exclusivity sucks yo~!
Oneness and Equality includes everything and everyone. If you resist this then you are part of the problem, because this is the solution. When we take shortcuts, when we take the easy way out, we do so at the expense of something or someone, and that can include yourself. Having that equal value and regard for everything and taking that action to make sure everything is cared for, that is oneness and equality. That isn't practiced or lived in this world. The most highest good and positive things in this world don't include this world as everything even. The problem is the positivity itself, because positivity is about division and self-interest. Self-interest is a problem as long as you resist oneness and equality and living it. There is nothing entertaining or good about oneness and equality, it is hard-work. It is responsibility, it is honesty. The Good and Positivity is the problem, because we defend it and we are addicted to it. We shape/form our personalities and thoughts around the Positivity and the Good. These are just words, if you look at the behavior and the real inner experience of people participating in the Positive and Good there you see the Truth! Look within your body and you will see the truth of who you are! Its not pretty at all.
It takes a lot of mental effort to create fantastical illusion of positive and good in whatever form it takes. Because its not real and it doesn't exist in your body. It only exists in your head and your body suffers for it! Seeing it for yourself is the only way to be sure. And knowing how to tell the difference between the body and what you make up in your head is important. That is what must be practice. The practice of breathing, of looking inside yourself, of sensing your body and feeling what goes on within you and questioning what is causing it, finding the source of your experiences inside you and reaching the point of self within you where everything is clear and you understand all that is happening within you in a moment. And being able to recognize yourself when you are standing for what is best for all, and what that sounds like within you.
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