Yogan's Journey to Life

So, there was this moment where things were so good, and so great, and what I noticed was that I was avoiding it, like physically avoiding it. And I was like, wait a minute, I am avoiding this... and its something good, so why not just let myself live it, jump into it physically, you know? So I did that, but then something happened where I immediately shifted away from the good thing. I went into my head, and that's where I kind of stayed. And now I'm writing this blog. So, So I got some work to do to understand this and what's going on. I kind of messed up this one opportunity, but its expected since apparantly I really suck and really shy away when it comes to joining in something physically that is quite good with another person. Like everything is okay and safe. The context is okay and safe. The moment/environment is safe is good, is here for me if I just, you know, own it, own the moment and just live it. Agh, its hard. hahaha anyway this why im writing here to o...

This morning I reflected briefly how I was having a series of perfect moments, where all was really good and going well. I saw I was having some perfect moments. And when I saw this I immediately felt a fear, because in movies and tv shows, and other stories, whenever things are going its BEST, that is when something bad happens. So I felt a fear immediately that something BAD is bound to happen next. So my reaction went from fear to kind of suppressing ignoring that I was having such perfect moments in my life. Then I caught myself. I ended up doing self-forgiveness on this fear, and I went back to embracing/seeing and simply recognizing that I was having some really good moments, a series of them all one after the other. I embraced that and went on my day. The result was that I was really enjoying my day/time. And in a way, kind of giving that joy and relaxation to others, where I smiled and was relax while saying hi. I did have other moments of challenge, where what was ...

What comes up within you when speaking, reading, hearing the word Self? Self refers to your self. Are you complete, whole? Are you fractured? Fearful? Worried Happy Sad Joyful What is the word or words? Whatever the words are it doesn't mean its good or bad. What matters is whether you were even aware of your relationship with yourself. What matters is that you have that connection with yourself. What matters is you KNOW what you feel. What matters is that you have that connection BECAUSE then you can actually make changes. Fact, You cannot change yourself without first knowing yourself. You have to Know thyself. Self is not something you can really categorize. Its not good or bad. It just is. You can be separate from yourself. You not know yourself. You can suppress yourself. You can abuse yourself. What words do you live with yourself? What changes can you make, or need to make to make things better? Are you happy with yourself? Maybe you need ...

Review of Process: Self-introspection on Breathing as a tool So I am taking this moment as an opportunity to review my history's process, specifically in relation to breathing as a tool. So the first thing I noticed was strange, that is I don't think about or consider breathing to be a tool I run to when I am facing a mind/energy point within me. The times when I focus on my breathing is when my breathing is constricted or limited, which tend to occur when I am within a mind/energy point. So upon discovering/noticing this in the moment I start to assist myself by breathing fully again. If I look back into my history of my process, I have treated and used breathing for purposes that were not supportive. I believed for a long time that I had to breathe and be aware of my breath in every moment. That is something I don't believe anymore, because my objective is to face, self-forgive/release a point of energy or mind participation that exists within me. Upon releasing t...

Two or more in my name, the last two characters I wrote, the Justice Character and the Mourning Character, along with the Prideful character that I wrote in my personal writings (not published), are interconnected in some way (I "know" what this is but Im holding it back to give background first) "the mind suppresses my being" When I am with a particular someone, a sibling, I react and trigger a certain way. I recognize I react in a similar way to a Buddy I was working with. I listened to the Sibling Rivalry interview, which assisted me in understand some dimensions. I recognize that I am suppressing my being or that my being is suppressed by the mind. I am reacting in a particular way, a suppression. I describe this suppression in the following way, everything is quiet, but like a forced quiet, maybe like a chocking. I need to focus on myself to experience what is actually here. Its like a withdrawal into a shell. I am a Cancer, in astrology. Someone ex...