Yogan's Journey to Life

So stemming off from my recent blog post https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2020/02/day-801.html , there comes moments throughout my day where I am reacting, and I am breathing, and there is a moment where I simply have to decide to Delete a point, or let it go completely, where it is so completely deleted that I am not focused on remembering it or it occupying my focus and attention, yet I can go back to remember it if I need to, but for the most part its not here anymore, its not relevant anymore. What I am saying is that I am noticing this difficulty of letting go and deleting/stop something so completely. I am seeing how I am holding onto points, where I have already done all I needed to already, and the final step is simply to stop, and let go. Pure and Complete Deletion. I am reminded of a vlog recording Gian did last month regarding lord of the rings and how Frodo had trouble letting go of the ring. So its something like that. Its like Deleting requires like a sh...

So, I'm standing again in clearly seeing the Life that is here as me. What this means is that how I see myself is a being, a something that is life- if I create an imagination about it in order to describe it- it could be seeing myself/my body that is right here in his moment as I sit in this chair and type, and seeing that inner body as like a blue light that is my body. Its not about an image, but if I were to use an image it would be that. How I see myself is about seeing myself as life- meaning that I have no beginning and no end, that I am standing with and by every single part, particle, and speck in this existence, from the great to the small. So I committed to support every single part/person/thing in this existence- no matter who it is or what they have done. Because there are no enemies in reality/existence- there is just people/life that may be exercising power in accordance with their programming and in ways that is not what is best. But there is no enemy, there is no n...

My day was really fucking good. I did some exercise walking around and strengthening my back. I read outside in the sun. I am understanding the material I an learning. I read some more. I participated in chats. I watched a movie. I worked on myself in going to heart of what I need to learn in order to improve myself and me in my relationships to people. So I am advancing and going deeper. I am learning and realizing. I feel quite strong, and connected to my body. I want to strengthen that connection to my body even deeper. I want my voice to embody the sound of my body, to be more visceral. I want the presence of the body to come through the sound of my voice. I want to change more and do more. I want to go deeper than I have gone before. I want to see the heart of what this is. I want to see what expression will emerge and radicalize my life, and dramatically change it. I know what the area I want to improve. I am right at the precipice  of changing it. I am walk...

Getting Haircut, man all those fears and insecurities from the past were still here. Owning my haircut, living Strong Yogan, Strong me, So I got  a haircut, and I did have those fears arise, including like whether other people like it or think its weird. So what I had to do was own it. Because some people did compliment on me on the hair, but still I had fear, so its only when I like own it and as well own my own expression with my words and body and whole self. Because hair is just one part of me. The rest of my expression the rest of me is still here. I am still me. Its just that this me has a new haircut and the haircut is fun, i like it. Its creative, it was done by an artist essentially who loves cutting hair and enjoys it. So I'm glad that she was a part of it, that part of her expression is a part of my hair and so me now. When I saw own it, I mean that in a moment I literally just like took off my hat and be like okay this is me, and then focus on my expression, being...

The book called the Little Prince... I learned that love is simple. Its simple because I did it as a child. Very simple. I loved my toys. I loved my toys because I spent time with them, I paid attention to them, I interacted with them, I was here with them. I spent TIME with them, I had MOMENTS with them, as memories of experiences. I can remember them and recall them, and I cared for them. When I lost them, I was distraught. I missed them. I can remember them with fondness, with love in me. Only the children know what they are looking for," said the little prince. "They waste their time over a rag doll and it becomes very important to them; and if anybody takes it away from them, they cry..."   "They are lucky," the switchman said"       I'm very sure I understand what love is now. While reading this book, I'm pretty sure I can see it. I see it my past. I can see the moments and the people with who I actually loved and those who ...

What to do when you need love? Understand that love is an energy. Because anything you need, is not something that is your expression. Energy is something that fluctuates that rise and falls. Energy is part of the need. This is the nature of energy. This is fact. Its not something you can wish or imagine to be different and it will change reality. You cannot say that energy is something stable, consistent, reliable and causes no need, no lack, no rise and no fall. I mean I can write out the sentence that it is a certain way, but it would be a lie, like an imagination. Here I am a scientist, I am relying on empirical information, I am relying on observations, investigations, and questionings that I have done for a long time now, 8 years, along with a group of people, desteni, who as individuals walk their processes and share online, and thereby providing more points for me to look at and consider. Without a doubt energy is not stable. And without a doubt the physical is stable. If y...

A thirst for expression. To say inappropriate things. To say the things that try to make people react. To dance on roof tops!  To blow bubbles obsessively even though I'm an adult. To bang pots and pans together! To dance incessantly around people! To build something creative, colorful. To engineer something amazing beautiful, a structure like a magical tunnel full of glowing lights! To engineer a full size maze!! To throw fire crackers. To build a giant hamster wheel! To run around a small circle for no apparent reason! To hop everywhere I go, not walk!!! To walk backwards everywhere I go!!! To skip everywhere I go! To walk sideways like a crab everywhere I go. To take tiny footsteps and take forever to go anywhere like a snail. To walk/navigate with my eyes closed!! To scream and run!!! To point at someone and chase them down! To tackle hug a friend!!! To Lift hug a friend!! To Tickle a friend!! To sneak up on and scare a friend!! To ...

There's is something that has happened to me... Or rather I should say that I have been walking a long process that started in 2009, and so its been about 9 years of me doing this... And now, its like I don't care what people think of me... I'm not afraid of being alone... I can just say anything... I have my plans/goals for myself which I wrote in my last blogs, and so I have my purpose and meaning. I have my expressions where I have fun through expression. And I went to Jury duty which showed me how much different I am from most people. It's like why bother hiding who I am. I'm so different already anyway. And its also like something inside me snapped, where its like why waste my time not being me, and just living. I am unique and I am different from others. So I live my uniqueness, I share my difference, I live me. Something like that. Because I am so alone already, why wait. Why die without anyone knowing who I am? I share my difference, I share me, before I...

My purpose and Meaning.  My purpose is to work a 40 hr a week job, pay for my needs, give money to support the desteni process, in so doing I support with money the development of awareness in people/humanity. My purpose is to share myself online so that others walking process may be supported. My purpose and meaning is to express myself creatively as dance, music, art, singing, play, writing, joking, etc... I live my meaning and purpose everyday.  Who I am? I am my body, my being, my self-expression. I am the work I do, and the money I give. I am the song I sing, and movement I dance. I am the words I write and speak. I am the work I do, the blogs I write, the people that listen/read my words. I am expression. I am the support I give and receive. I am my job, my work, what I give to others. I am the moment I express in and live in. I am the process I walk to bring awareness within me, and within others. I am the self-forgiveness I speak and commitments I make. I ...

Reference: Bernard's blog post h ttp://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2017/06/day-573-practical-living-explained.html www.Desteni.org

Something I love to think about or remember, is what I want for the world, for myself, for others. I don't know if I have ever really described it into words, even for myself. But I can feel it and see it. So I would like to share it here and put it into words. I want a world where all things are appreciated and supported. Where everything is honored, and given what it needs. Where everyone does their part to ensure this reality. Where every human lives courage, care, regard, honor, love, support, resilience, persistence, righteousness, passion, giving, self-respect, accepting nothing less than the absolute greatness of this life, understanding, gentleness, kindness, sympathy, unwavering, and resoluteness. I want everyone to hold this same vision inside themselves to remind them of it, so that we make it so.

So I saw someone online that I haven't seen for years. And it seemed like their life was over. They had a great success, but then everything crashed. And now they are back, and they are different. Yet still themselves, and obviously matured and obviously had learned something and gained something in who they are. While I did enjoy who they were before. I enjoy who they are now, and the differences. Its really a surprise for me. And now in a time where my life is again changing, its nice to see an example where someone changes and overcomes difficulty, and sticks to their decision, and the part of them that is real, even if that part changes and becomes difference, thanks to the difficulties and challenges, even if one initially failed at them and fell, but one did pick oneself up from them to learn. So learning is about making mistakes, is about seeing what it is about you that is causing problems, and changing it, to create solutions. And one very obvious thing about this pers...

What you feel about something doesn't matter. What you feel about yourself... is not real. What I feel about myself... is not real. What you feel about trees, cars, dogs, people, doesn't matter. What you feel about things, is not real. What is real are the actual physical things that are here, that are in front of you, that you see, hear, touch, smell. That is real. What you feel about what is real, isn't real. It's like we are confused inside ourselves, where we believe that what we feel and react to and about what is real, makes what we feel and our reactions, real. It doesn't. What you feel about something is simply what you feel about something. It has no reality to it. It is simply reacting to what is here/real. How you feel about things, doesn't matter. How you feel about things, won't determine or become an action or solution. It is not part of the solution. How you feel about the solution, doesn't make it more of a solution. Taking t...

The practicality of working with what is here, being here, creating while being here. The practicality of here. So one dimension to look at where Here can be utilized is stopping thoughts. Because when your thinking and involved and being one and equal to your thoughts, you are not one and equal to what is here. Now this is troubling because here includes everything, including thoughts. The problem with thinking is we become so involved with and as our thoughts, that that is all that we become, and in fact our thoughts is not all that is. Everything is here. So to get access to everything you must be here, simple, no? So with working with what is here, you are essentially working with the physical. The physical has always been here, but we haven't, so that is why we must stress working with the physical because we don't know how to work with the physical. We mostly learn as we grow up how to deal with humans, at least those of us that become what we dub Successful. Howeve...

Who am i if i express according to a desire?  I am stuck to that desire. If i desire to follow the mind... i will follow the mind. The moment of stopping following the mind, is also the moment of stopping following the desire, and then you feel this friction, which is a resistance to change (see Physics JTL blog http://physicsjournettolife.blogspot.com/2012/12/day-118-physics-and-desteni-process.html) for a relevant analytical discussion on inertia and Newtons three Laws). So desires are things we follow. Can we also live a desire? Does that even make sense? If we are living something, say waking up in the morning and moving with the body in breath, is that a desire? It seems redundant to say i desire to wake up in the morning and move with the body in breath, instead of I wake up in the morning and move with the body in breath, which to me is a complete statement of 'who i am' or who that person is. Would you agree or not agree? (These are all words of course, though i ...