Thursday, December 28, 2017

Standing up to Abusers

I have been through abusive situations with various people. And in each situation I haven't stood up for whats best for all.

I will write out several of these situations. What happened. What I said, and did, and what the other person said and did. I will also describe how I felt. I will then write out how to stand up to the abuse so that it becomes what is best for all.

Abusive situation #1
A person wanted to discuss something with me and I was not interested. They got upset. They insisted and I also insisted no. Eventually they said I'm gonna take this glass and smash it over your head. I immediately felt scared, threatened and intimidated. I have been living with this fear for 2 years. And it has forever changed how I viewed this person and how we relate. In that situation though I didn't say anything. I retreated. I was scared. Now, what should I have done?

Putting myself back in that situation in my Imagination, and memory, I see I should have said the following:

I want an apology right now. What you said was completely unacceptable. I won't have this conversation with you any longer. And if you don't apologize and commit to never say such a thing again, I am leaving you from my life.

Now if this person is someone I work with or live with where I am stuck with them, where quitting/leaving my job is not an option, then what I do is to cut them out emotionally from my life. Where I don't acknowledge them, consider them, or see them as a person.

In some cases I could report them to the police or to the boss, or to human resources, however proof is needed, because many people in our society don't believe in victims of abuse. So the best option to to record what they say to you abusively. This may seem extreme, but if it comes between you having to quit a job or keeping your job, its better to keep your job and get the other to leave. Otherwise you may need to leave your work, assuming you have the money or someone you can lean.

If a person lives with you, then you either can move out, but again that depends on money.

Now, within saying these words and taking these actions it is the LIVING of taking care of oneself, protecting oneself, and standing up for oneself as an individual LIFE. Because all abuse is unacceptable. If you accept abuse to befall you, then you will accept abuse to befall on everyone.

Abusive situation #2
A person was upset that I made a mistake. They pointed there finger at me and upset with me. They were accusing me of being malicious and intentful. I was completely calm and explaining my side, except they wouldn't accept what I was saying. They didn't believe me, so they interrogated me. What I should have done is the second they raised their voice at me, I should have said: what you are saying and how you are saying it is completely unacceptable. You can perfectly talk normally with me. If what you are saying is perfectly fine they you wouldn't mind me recording it with my phone? If you don't apologize I will leave for good. (assuming this is a job I can live without) I will leave for good right now.

This was a situation that I should have left for good when it happened. I could have, I had the means, but I didn't. I didn't ask for an apology. I accepted it and just was quiet, reserved.

Looking at how I acted, being a victim means you accept other people abusing you. Being a false victim is falsely accusing others of abusing you. The best way is to get a hard recording of the exchange, because many people won't believe someone abused you.

What would someone that stands by all life, as one and equal do?  They would say what I should have said. To feel empowered enough to ask for an apology from then and there and stopping the conversation from going forward. And placing an ultimatum. If things are to get better, we need to stand to make them better. This may mean, yes, losing jobs, or leaving jobs. This may mean removing people from your life. This may mean moving. And yes, this is only possible if you have access to money or support from somewhere. That is also why its important to build a network of people you can trust, such as the people you live with. Its very important that if you have roommates that they are stable and not abusive. The same goes for coworkers and bosses.

Friday, November 17, 2017

Day 56 - Apologize

I made a mistake and it affected someone else. In this real time moment, I can only apologize, but its not enough, so I can do what I can now to make it right. I can pay back what I can, or give what I can to make it right. Apologizing is not something i practiced much of. But its needed. When I wrong someone, I need to make it right. I can keep apologizing to the person, telling them I am sorry, and I promise not to do this again, and that this is what I will do next time. I can give them a gift as gesture, or do them a favor, or pay them for something that they had to do because of my mistake. Its not about the gift, favor or money, but its about the gesture. Its about showing the person your intent in being serious in changing, and to do what you can NOW to make things right and redeem yourself. You cannot change the past, but you can take action NOW. This is important for healthy relationships, real relationships and sincere relationships. This is what I applied and learned this week.

Value, regard those around you. Regard and value each person. Regard and value the relationship, and respect it and preserve it.

Day 55 Pain and Suffering

So when we experience pain in our bodies, for whatever reason, maybe a mysterious reason, I notice that in me that I had let it affect my behavior and actions. And  I realize I cannot let that happen. That I need to be able to move myself and make sure that my behavior and actions are not worsen by what pain or suffering that is going on in my body, which includes how I talk to people and what I say. Pain and suffering is a condition and state of being alive. When you work your muscles you are literally tearing your muscles, that is normal, and how it is suppose to work. What the body does is that it provides a painkiller for you to not feel the pain, Dopamine. That is why when you run you can get what is called a runners high. Sometimes though, you will just feel like shit all over your body, and you don't know why, but you cannot let that affect you. There is something in many cultures about being a Man or becoming an Adult, where you now must be able to withstand Pain. In star wars, one of the trials of becoming a Jedi was the trails of Pain. To be a parent, also means being able to walk through the pain of not sleeping well when taking care of your newborn baby. One cannot let physical pain change who you are, so that you are worse.

What is interesting is that as you move and embrace the decision to not let pain define you, that at some point you either create, or the body creates, or perhaps you both create together a experience, an experience, or maybe just shit load of dopamine, where who you are, your attitude is not of pain, but of movement and creation. Some days you may wake up feeling shitty and you don't know why. Doing this here like I said, can serve you.

There are some people who may experience greater pain, but what I say here still holds true as a principle. You cannot stop living, you shouldn't, just because of pain. You CAN actually stop living, and let pain dictate you, and you give up. You shouldn't, but you could let pain win. What you should do is to Live your life, move, create, be the attitude, be the self, and never let pain ever decide who you are, how you talk to others, and what you say.

This is my lesson from this week. I didn't let pain decide, but I also did let it decide who I am, which is how I learned about this lesson. Life is the most important thing, hold onto it and don't let it go, not even for pain. You will be satisfied in being the creator of your life, and with what you create.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Day 54 The Sound of a Leader

So in my process I have connected the dimension of sound to the solution of living words, where within living a word, I obviously will be speaking in daily life, and one thing I do to cross-reference my living of the word is the sound I use when speaking. Because obviously, if I were to be attempting to live the sound leader and I end up speaking/sounding angry, scared or nervous, I am not effectively living the word leader. Now, this assessment or judgment or determination that what my sound is like must be from me, because obviously others can say, assess, determine your sound, but they could be wrong, just as you could be wrong. The cross-reference I trust in checking my sound is by looking at my memories and looking where else I have used this sound and what happening in the moment and within me. The sound I use is very specific and has a history. So the very specific sound leader that is accompanying living the word leader, has a history and is specific. This history is very short, because I have rarely lived this sound, yet I do have specific memories. It is also a cross-reference for me that this is indeed a new word and new expression, and new sound I am living because I rarely have so little experience with it throughout my life.

So sound is indeed important, and it is an important cross-reference when you are living words. That is what I have found for me. Why am I living the word leader? Because being a leader has these qualities:
1. Being the first to say yes, I will do it -- so showing initiative
2. Being stable, calm, collected
3. Being honest about what I know and don't know, and so be very clear, and decisive, stating the facts, and not being hesistant, ambigious, unclear.
4. Being Committed to myself, not being ashamed of who I am, which includes my likes, dislike, preferences, history, what I have lived, my skills, my interests and all the rest that make up who I am.
5. Being happy/satisfied with myself, my life, with the decisions I have made, and what I have learned, which involves reflection, understanding myself in past moments, and focusing on the present and the future goals.

1.When I am Feeling and Sounding hesitant, ambiguous and unclear I KNOW I am not being a leader, living word, or living the sound. And so I have to realign with the point again, which may take some investigation as there may be something NEW for me to learn.
2. If I am ashamed of sharing something about who I am, like how I like playing videos games, or that I am interested in studying and learning about everything, or about my history, then I know I am not living as a leader, within sound and behavior.

Sound is not my only cross-reference, my physical behaviors and physical body movements are cross-reference as well. If I am nervous I may twitch in my hands. I can also feel nervousness as energy in my chest or stomach. I can feel weakness, distraction, disorientation, confusion, doubtful, worried as physical things I do and become.

When I am in such a reaction, I first attempt at accessing the living word Leader and sound. There is something like a mini-internal struggle or war going on within me where I for a second may doubt me, myself. Then I need to stand up and look at things practically. Because practically, I am not this doubt, insecurity, or shame that came up, and it doesn't serve me or life. So looking at things practically I need to become a leader again, stable again. So sometimes this works, where then I start to live as a leader again which I can hear in my physical voice again, but if itdoesn't then I need to reflect on why, what is going on, and understand deeper, which will end up expanding me in some way.

Day 53- Chloe

Chloe Leanne Brooks

There is much we do not know unless we experience the loss of something. Do you appreciate your own food, your body? Do you appreciate the air, the ability to walk up, the ability to dress yourself, take a shower? Do you appreciate the chance at being alive and live, be a part of the world, being able to be, live and interact with people in the world?

When you look at silly reasons, excuses, fears, about what if they don't like you, what if things go bad, what if things don't work out, what if your dreams, goals, plans don't pan out. Look at the fact that you are alive and could actually do these things, attempt such things. Because one day you won't have the opportunity anymore, your time will be up. This is true for everyone. No one lives forever.

Learn from others and the experiences they are going through, like Chloe Brooks who shares herself in this video. Place yourself in her shoes and see through her eyes. May you gain wisdom, and insight that is beyond what you currently know.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Day 52 The Importance of an Education

Education is important. No doubt. Yet there are doubters. But what is education? For me I have only recently come to appreciate and, see from an new perspective, Education and what it is. There are a number of topics that I can cover, I will try to cover them all.

Education is a word. I can reflect that it is a word. I can recall and remember all the ways this one word can be used. It is connected in my brain to these word possibilities: School, College, University, classes, subjects, math, history, science, literature, teachers, nature vs. nurture, experience, skill, self-taught, questioning, curiosity, truth, honesty, objective, unbiased, arguments, thesis, question, hypothesis, nature, the earth, reality, morality, ethics, best for all, understanding, learning, open.

The fact that I connect all these words to the word education is proof that I have a deep, rich, complex education, that is aligned not with fantasy, manipulation, or lies. For some people, education is about such things, it is about power, control, dominance, destruction, self-serving. Yet not me.

Education, as who I am, as what I have lived, requires taking all sides and all perspectives, and being see through those lenses. Because the truth should be able to be questioned, and proven with a sound method or test. Otherwise its not truth, its opinion.

What is interesting is that if the method is sound and reliable, then when you test something you should get information that reflects what you are testing. To understand this and the importance of this requires learning and exposing yourself to Science, to Math, to history, philosophy, literature, in order to have an array of tools and experiences that allow you to see and work with what is here and create better things.

Something that is equally important is spending time connecting with that part of you that is connected to everything and everyone. That requires meditation, reflection, and looking.

Education is about truth, its about reality, its about all of us. Its not opinion, or belief. Yet it involves listening to the opinions and beliefs, hearing them out, and finding a way to navigate to the truth. Because before something is seen as true it is regarded as unknown. You don't know something until you know it.

An education can never harm you. The deeper you go, the better off you will be, and the more you can do for others and yourself. 

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Day 51 Entertainment in the Head

There is an entertainment going on and its not centered in Hollywood California, or Nashville, Tennessee, or Bollywood, or in the internet. It is actually found pretty much everywhere across the globe. It is in our heads, the heads of people.

There is an entertainment happening that is cannot be matched by all the executive studios, producers, actors, singers, comedians around the world combined. It is the form entertainment that we have created with our minds and only we can stop it.

With our heads, our minds, we can create amazing highs, higher than all the drugs. We create these highs and we stay in them. You cannot fight these highs, because entertainment thrives off of conflict. You see it across all the movies and tv shows, all books, songs, stories, games... without conflict they couldn't exist, it wouldn't be called a story. Drama depends on conflict. And Life is destroyed through/from conflict.

An existence, a human population that lives off of Entertainment, within it, as it, will lead to the end of all life eventually. The form of entertainment that we know of on Earth requires conflict.

Like I said, you cannot fight it, because fighting it Feeds it, it is conflict. So how do you stop a war/fight without fighting it? How do you change without fighting yourself?

You have to stop the conflict within YOU. What is the very essence/experience of conflict? Emotions and Feelings. Hate, anger, love, fear, jealousy, revenge, happiness, joy, triumph, victory, gusto, freedom! If there are no emotions and feelings within you how can there be conflict? If you don't feel anything, how can you fight?

This is the one thing we dare NEVER to do, to actually STOP all emotions and feelings. Even though it is certain that they are leading to conflict and that it will lead to the end of all life, we still wouldn't dare to STOP. Yet, it is the one thing that can change everything and save everyone. How dramatic are we?

We would cry and plead, beg for another way, we would fight and argue, resist until the very end, before we stop all emotions and feelings.  We will defend our right, our choice to feel, saying this is right, and natural and to stop them would become inhuman and robotic and evil. We would even dare to say that we would suicide and take our own life if we didn't have emotions and feelings. We say this because apparently we are experts and know EVERYTHING. Really?

Did you know about all the physical horrors happening in the name of entertainment? Do you know all the conflicts and wars that continue based on what people Feel? Do you know what it would be like if we all dropped and stopped emotions and feelings? Do you know what it would be like to have heaven on earth and real peace on earth, where all are treated as equals, and as one people, one life?

I said before, "the form of entertainment we know of on Earth." I said this because this has been our Form of Entertainment that we have lived, and definition that we accepted. So why not create a new form? Why not create a new definition? One that is not based in conflict, in destruction. One that is not based in Emotion, in Feeling. What would that look like and be like? It would be physically based, oneness and equality based, it would be eternal and stable, and it would be equally accessible and available at all times, and free.  It would be Me, within me, as me,  throughout me, permeating me, brought forth from me, through me, and so ME. So it would no longer be Entertainment in the Head, or entertainment based on emotions and feelings, but it would be Entertainment As Me.

In case you are looking for a loophole where you live entertainment as emotions and feelings, understand this, that emotions and feelings exist in SEPARATION of you. You DO NOT control it. And it exists within POLARITY, so it is always in a flux of CONFLICT. Good requires BAD. It exists as something independent and separate from you, YET it requires your participation and attention. And it exists living OFF of the very substance of YOU/ME. So YOU have the power to stop it. Over time it will drain your body and kill you anyway. The very nature of it is conflict and destruction, and it is what you have accepted and allowed yourself to be and all of existence to be. It reflects what you have accepted and allowed. Hence, you are already Living Entertainment as ME as Emotions and Feelings, except its more like you are the Living DEAD, living as emotions and feelings. Get it? Zombies! haha!

So the living dead as emotions and feelings and living a word like entertainment as me, NOT THE SAME.

I could try to explain what it would be like to live Entertainment as me, but as long as you look through the glasses of emotions and feelings, you won't be able to understand. Because I have already described the essence of it. There may be a very small part within you that understands, that may remember a short moment in your life where it was like that or similar to that. Otherwise you will need to first walk the path of stopping emotions and feelings, including your thoughts, before you get to that point of creating Entertainment as you as an expression from you. It is you.

Much more can be learned, read and applied from

Friday, October 20, 2017

Day 50 The word Family: Changing Freedom to Accountability

What is held within the word family? What is the information that we carry within from our life experience that is stored within the word family? Your Life Experience, this Word, the Information, all of it will be activated and lived/possessed when it is turned on. The word is turned on with the proper triggers.

Your family will always be your family. When you compare how you behave, what you physically say, how you sound when you are speaking as and within the word Family, to when you are not, there is a difference.

When you meet a stranger, when you meet someone for the first time, there is much respect and civility. How come with the people we have known the longest, our family, can the really worst of us, the really evil of us can exist? Maybe its because we have defined our family as always being our family, and that no matter what we say or do to them, or they unto us, that they will always be our family, so it is okay, because they love you DEEP down.

When it comes to family programming, it is like the Pure Freedom to do or say whatever you want. So what do we choose to do with ultimate freedom without consequences? We say some very rude things, attackative things, we make each other cry, we yell, shout, we emotionally manipulate, we get defensive, we get angry. We KNOW that this would be unacceptable in any other context, so why with Family? Perhaps this is who we have accepted and allowed us to be. And like I said, there is no consequence and you are free to choose or say whatever you want, because they are your family. So this is what we do with ultimate free choice situation.

One important dimension to look at with the Family context and Family word is the sense of pleasure, and feeling of freedom, and feeling of power. When we say horrid things to each other and yell at each other in family situations, we love it. There is that dimension within us. It is interesting what we do with free choice and freedom from accountability.

Because our minds function within polarity, when switch the roles between victim and abuser in the family context, where we allow the abuse, the yelling and shouting unto us because we continuously accept and allow the dimension of being the abuser within us. Every victim equally carries the abuser signature. One would need to let go of both at the same time in order to really change.

What is interesting is how young adults and teenagers seek to leave the family and find their own group of friends and people who can be their own family by choice. I have observed within me and my life that the multiple times I have done this, that my programming inside the word Family would activate. Where with my NEW family, I would act and behave in the same way as both abuser and victim. And the other people were also living their own programming. The signature for this includes the Immense feeling of FREEDOM and Acceptance, which is the freedom from accountability, freedom to do or say anything onto others, and freedom to abuse.

When a person, like myself, starts a relationship with one other person, a romantic one, initially it will be very positive and good, and over time it will turn sour. It may take a very long time for it to turn sour. We may even get married or have kids. But at some point the family programming will rear its head. Everything that a person has lived, such as myself, and the information that is stored within the word family will   be activated within them. It never goes away, unless really removed. So that is how it is possible to start a new relationship and new family and it all being positive at first, and yet we become exactly like our parents and all the problems and fighting and arguing and attacking resurfaces. That information is only allowed to surface when you KNOW that you have someone else TRAPPED or they AGREE to be like a FAMILY with you.

The information, the LIVING information that is within us, that is stored within the word family can be changed. It is the sins of the Father as spoken in the bible. It has been passed onto generation after generation. Attacking your family doesn't change the information, because that is the information, you will know this if you read carefully my words. The thing is that we have plenty of examples where we behave with respect, kindness, and regard. So its not impossible.

How to go about changing the information within us? Part of it involves owning up to what we have done to other people which happen to be family members. They are equally people. So self-forgiveness is needed for all of the horrid things you have said and done to them. From there a commit to change will help. At the same time we must be able to face our own victimization. This includes self-forgiving the blame onto others. With ultimate freedom, we place all our accountability onto the Family. So to change we reverse that flow of accountability from them to ourselves. Through this process we change. So we change Freedom to Accountability.


Thursday, October 19, 2017

Day 49 The Family Construct

When two people come together to start a family, their relationship as a couple while raising their kids is imprinted and transferred into their children. This is what I will be describing today. In past blogs I have analyzed described how parents imprint themselves onto their kids, but this was in the context of the parents as Individuals. Today, I am specifically looking at the Relationship of the parents, and how that imprints onto the children. Looking at this specific dimensions yields new insights onto this subject.

In the general knowledge and beliefs people have, I have observed people saying that its important that a child's parents stay married and divorce causes harm. I have also heard about research studies looking at fighting, and yelling and general abusive environment and how that also harms the child emotionally, and mentally, affecting their development.

Within my own self-work, through the desteni tools, I focus primarily on helping myself to transcend patterns, constructs, habits, personality points that were learned across my life, which includes today's topic. What I have seen and will be sharing is how the specific relationship the parents (patterns) had with each other was transferred into the children and affects the Self-relationship, using myself as the case study example. I invite you to self-reflect into your own experience and dig deep to uncover the suppressed memories you have.

So, we start. Imagine if your parent's relationship is an entity. Imagine if there would be some creature, or some, image that would represent the relationship of your parents. What would that be? I say this because when two people come together (no matter who they are) and they form/create a family, those two people, in many ways, become like one person. That one person is the relationship. If you are having trouble understanding consider this situation. Remember the times you have seen a couple. When you see two people in a romantic/partner relationship it is as if they are one person, or they are somehow different than they normally are apart. There is something there that is unique and can be distinguished. It is very clear that those two people are in a relationship with each other.

Looking at my example here. I have clear memories of my parents where they were happy with each other, and also clear memories of when they were mad at each other. I have clear memories when they would insult each other, be mean, yell and get angry. I can remember them being clearly annoyed with each other. Seeing this Taught me that it is okay to be mad at someone and argue with them, and insult them because you still love each other.

I expect the same can be said for many other parents around the world. Now, this is actually a bad lesson to learn. Because it is a lesson to accept and allow abuse, and insults, and fighting. What makes all of these things okay is Love. So the children, including me, would  accept the exact same standards and treatment from others, as long as they love you (some of the time).

Growing up within the family, us children received the imprint of our parents relationship onto us, just like children all across the world with their own family. What is interesting that I observed is how when the family is by itself, away from strangers, we act and behave much differently. In front of non-family members we would be very polite and nice, but as soon as we were alone we wouldn't hesitate in saying something mean or insulting, annoying each other etc... I can see the same across my individual family members that when they are with their own friends or out in work, they are professional and well-behaved, but as soon as they are alone with family they change their attitudes.

Looking at myself, when I would share and open up myself, what I see about the world with friends or strangers I would most often be treated with respect and be heard with common decency. Though when I do the same with family most of the time it is something dismissal, aggressive or something mean.

Within myself and within my thoughts I can see the family construct which is the complete assimilation of the relationship of the family members which originate from the relationship of the parents or primary caregivers. This has an affect on the self-relationship. It fuels thoughts that are self-demeaning, self-deprecating, self-insulting, self-attacking, and self-destructive. This can be described as the very essence of the relationship the parents had throughout time.

Through the Desteni tools I can remove this from myself. It is essentially removing the entire relationship the parents had as a memory imprint on your relationship with yourself, how you view yourself, how you speak to yourself in your head, and how you treat yourself in daily life. This in turn changes how you affect, treat, and speak to others.

Throughout time we have made it okay to insult each other, fight, argue, yell and be mean. We made it okay, in the name of Love. But it doesn't have to be that way. You can have a relationship with someone else where there is no fighting, no yelling, no arguing, no insulting, and not being mean. We actually do it all the time when meeting someone new, and making friends, and even initially in relationships. But what we haven't done is stop accepting and allowing all the bad things that arise through time.

So study the desteni tools, like self-forgiveness so you can start releasing the patterns and constructs within you.

Its important to do this so that one day when you have a family that the relationship you have with your partner will be a shining example for your new family. Through this way we can change the world, through changing ourselves, and so the life of the future generations.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Day 47 What if things were different?

Oneness and Equality means that you are willing to do anything for the whole. You are willing to give up privileges, rights, if these things stand in a way of what is best for all. You are willing to follow rules and laws if these support what is best for all. You are willing to give up guns, drugs, alcohol, sex, freedom if it meant what is best for all. You have to consider the relativity of things.

Relative this. Right now the world has seen incredible expansion and growth. If oil/gasoline was never discovered, we wouldn't have all that the richest 50% has access to on planet earth. Do you know what oil and gasoline is? It is the living body, the living tissue of plants and animals that has been stewing for a fucking long time. It is a very Condensed form of energy that humans just found. But it took a fucking long time to create. So you do the math.

Things are relative. Freedoms are relative. They are relative to what our economic luxury and our environment has to offer. Humans are so completely dependent on their environment. If oil and gas didn't exist, would we be "advanced?"

It is possible to live in a world where humans watch out for each other as equals, even with no technology, including gas and oil. But we are not yet That. Our environment does not make us advance as people. It gives us advanced tools, but it doesn't make us advanced as individuals. There is a spirit that exists, which cannot be tamed or commanded. That spirit is oneness and equality, and it runs this existence.

Everywhere you see and look its there. It binds us together, and binds this physical reality together. Its presence can be felt everywhere. It is the very fabric of reality. And if we were to align to it, oneness and equality, we would become perfect in every way. We would be willing to give up anything/everything, if it meant what is best for all. We would be willing to give up ego, desire, lust, fear, revenge, hate, separation, beliefs. Anything. You see, we don't Need a personality. We don't need a self-definition. We already exist outside of what we think we are. We are not a thought.

When you look upon the face of an individual, do you see the entire reality one and equal, or do you see what you think?

The most valuable is not known and it is overlooked, but its right here, always. You will find it in the very depths of yourself.

Visit the tools are shown there. Its free. For questions ask on the forum.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Day 46 The STRUGGLE: Power over Others, or Power over Myself?

There is a struggle within oneself. The struggle is for power. But we incorrectly place  power over others as more important then power over ourselves. What is power over self?

Power ove Self is being able to stop what you are feeling, what you are thinking, and reacting within yourself. It is the domain of your body. That is what you have power over.

How we are currently existing as Humanity, as all people is that we don't have power over ourselves and so we seek power over others. Why? We are seeking power over others because we are not giving ourselves the power over ourselves, which is our birthright.

To exist, you have the right to have power over your self, your thoughts, what you feel, your backchat, your reactions. And if we don't stand within our birthright, we are standing outside of what is right for ourselves, so we feel wrong and inadequate and weak and we are seeking for someone else that we may either control with power or that can control us with power.

When we seek power over others, there are two ways. The obvious way is by attacking others, fighting them, resisting them, getting them to feel things, manipulating them, gossiping behind their backs, insulting them, make snide remarks, making them cry, bullying them, hurting them, and even killing them. This is how war starts. All because we didn't stand within our OWN power, the power over Self, which is individual, and doesn't belong to anyone else.

The other, less obvious, way that we seek power over others, is actually to not have any power, but to be directed by others, to be the victim, to let someone else tell you who you are, how to be, which includes insulting you, gossiping about you, lying to you, bullying you and hurting you. You BELIEVE what they say. That is actually a way you seek to have power over others. It's odd, yes. But its true, only because we are doing it and those are our two choices. Sometimes people do this and be the victim because they REFUSE to be the bully or aggressor and they don't KNOW how to stand within their power yet. This is partially because no one is there to show them the way. I will do my best to show the way today.

So those are the possibilities. How do you live power over yourself? What does that entail? What does that require of you?
It requires that when you have a thought that you stop it. This thought being something that is like an outside voice. It will also include all the gossiping, insulting, and demeaning thoughts within you. Basically, every single time you have ever allowed yourself to react and feel something to what someone said to you, like an insult or them being a bully, or gossiper, that is something you still carry within you and they will form your thoughts. Your mind will repeat them to you, UNTIL you finally stop it and so stand within your OWN power. This power, again, is not about others or changing them. It's not about standing UP to others. It's about standing UP within your own power and stopping all that is harmful, fearful, aggressive, destructive within you, within the space that is you that you are existing here within your body.

Now, standing within your own power will require you to be able to stop the same thoughts, the same emotions, the same energies that you feel, like fear, in the very moments you face the people you have reacted to, which can include when people are reacting with FURY and being Furious and directing it at you, and when people are Annoying, or gossiping or anything else where you are FEELING something about it. What I am saying here is that stopping your thoughts alone is not enough, you actually need to be able to stand within your power in every situation, including actually facing the situations that you initially reacted to, where you will be able to face a screaming and angry person and not a single inch or iota of you will move WITHIN YOU, and IF it does move, then you IMMEDIATELY stop it from moving. So you are constantly stopping any movement, which can include fear for example. This is what it means to have power over you. And it has nothing to do with the other person, because you CAN and DO have power over you to stop what you are feeling in the moment. Even in the face of yelling, bullying, threats, gossip etc...

Standing within our own power, EACH of us, THAT is our birthright, that is who we are supposed to be, and we can ALL be that. Standing in that shoes and in ourselves like that, means we put an end to all war, all victimization, all attacks, all gossip and all bullying. That is what it means to stand within our own power, the power of and over self. Because the secret is that we all feel powerless. We all lack power. We feel it. And so this is the solution, this is how you LIVE power.

If you don't apply this, if you don't live power, what will happen is this cycle which we have been living for eons. You will be a victim, someone will say or do something, then you will use that as a justification to do the same unto them or someone else that is like them. This other person will feel the same way as you did, a victim, and they will do the same as you and the first person did, to take vengeance, and harm another, with Justice!

So if you want real justice, take a look in the mirror, and take responsibility for yourself. You can end the cycle of war and abuse. Once and for all.

Plus, at the end of this, you will have REAL power, you will actually have Power over and of yourself. You will be able to create yourself and create Life. Don't you want that?

Study Desteni, take the courses, learn how to apply self-forgiveness, practice it. This is where it all starts. If you have followed my blog you have seen its a long journey. Be patient, be persistent, and see this through. Slow and Steady wins the race!

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Living my only Desire

My only desire to for there to BE people that are best for all, best for all life. So how can I make there be? By making it, by creating it. Making and creating takes time.

I live in a world where my time is dependent on money. If I have none, my time is up. So I need money. If I go for a career that is well secured, has a long future, that is stable, that pays well, then I should do that. If I don't I will have a mediocre job that is not secure, unsure future, unstable, doesn't pay well and I wouldn't have the time anyway to create or make anything.

Within having a stable career I will have SOME time I can dedicate to creating/making people, the future, which is better than NO time, and it will be for as long as I live because the work is stable and has a long future. This is the best I can do. If I could have someone PAY for me to be able to create/make the people and the future for the REST of my life I would do it. The same as as I do my career and make money for the rest of my life I will PAY my money to support someone or some people to DO what it is that IIIII would be doing if someone were to PAY for me to do. The reason why is that CREATING and MAKING people that are best for all, is making and creating the only future that matters, and the only thing that matters. These KIND of people are what matters. No other KIND of people matter. The kind of skin color, the kind of language, the kind of education, the kind of country or kind of wealth you are don't matter. What matters is that you are best for all life, because you will protect life, preserve life, enhance life, and care for ALL. No other kind of person matters, none at all.

So that is why I work in stable career. Cause I need money. And so I should go for the most stable career and money, and thereby with what money extra I have I can be financing or paying for the living of someone or some people STABLY with stable income to create/make people that are best for all. And what free time I do have, which I will have some, I will spend time creating such people. The easiest way to create someone to be best for all is to show them how you created yourself to be what is best for all. So you require first walking the path to becoming what is best for all. That's the first thing you must do with the free time you have. What's cool is that as you work and the time you work to make money, you can practice and apply being what is best for all. So you don't only wait to apply best for all in free time. In your free time is where you can delve deeper in writing and investigation and you prepare yourself to apply during your entire day, which includes work time. SO when you work, you are applying what you prepared to do in your free time. So you are always working with what is best for all. Always.

What matters a bit more with free time is when you use that time to help others with their questions and being an example through what you write and share online or share through videos online. Because people need to see you and hear your words and read your words because you are an example to something they have never seen before. That is why free time matters and why it is precious, because you can't earn money so much from such things unless people give it to you directly like donation, which is possible. But again such people need to have free monies to give you, which require them having a good job with good future etc... So that is why for everyone that can get a job/career that is stable and has long future and pays well, to do so, and then use that money to support those who are walking the path of what is best for all, especially those who simply cannot earn the same money, because of some limitations that are outside of their control.

What is best for all is what matters, and it can only manifest in people. People must be the ones that speak, live, and be what is best for all. They are the only ones, so they are the focus. That is our future.

Living the Word Independence, what is it like?

"Only slaves exist within pain and suffering, because they believe themselves to be ‘victim to’ some form of power greater than themselves – and have no resolve to stand up independently, but merely accept and allow the continuation of accepted and allowed pain and suffering." 

I am standing up independently. I am learning to apply independence as a LIVING word. I am not trying to live independence through something external, which means I am not trying to find independence through how much money I have, my status, my popularity, being outside of the family home, or anything else that is external. I am learning to live independence as a LIVING word, which means inside my self, my presence, in relationship with myself, how I move, live, and speak. Independence as a living word has nothing to do with what others say, think of me, comment of me, or how they compare themselves to me.

What is it like Living the word Independence as a living word? It is like when I speak or share about something, I don't change or edit what I say based on fear of what others will say to me. So if people were to insult me, become angry at me, yell at me, curse me, I stand independent to that and I speak as myself as independence, which means I speak without being moved by any comment, insult, fear, attack. So I don't allow anything to affect me. When I let, accept and allow, anything that is said to me to affect me, I will carry it around with me until I STOP accepting and allowing it, stop LETTING it continue to affect me. Living Independence as a Living Word is a step further. It is me actually speaking, actually moving, actually sharing myself without movement, without being affected, without reaction.

Living Independence means I am writing my own destiny, I am taking responsibility for my own life and my own life path. Being Independence, in the core of my being and self means that I am not dependent on others to tell me what to do, to influence me into a decision, to decide for me and tell me what is the right path. Living Independence means I take the responsibility for what I speak and do, and decide and have that in no way be determine by the decisions of others, be influenced in anyway by how others want it to be. I am the point that decides, and that decision is not altered emotionally through any form of insults, attacks, words that seek to bring out some form of control over me through some feeling or emotions. Living Independence as a Living Word does require no longer allowing any reaction, any movement within you.

Independence requires me being alone within myself. Like a quiet still lake with no movement. There is no movement of mind, of influence or reaction within me, I am completely still. Within that stillness I am there and there I can live Independence. As soon as there is a ripple in the lake through reaction or influence, my first job is to stop the reaction and influence and reach stillness again. There I can Live Independence. So Independence is about maintaining my inner self through maintenance of the lake. The second step or job is to just live it, make my decisions, move in life, just live normally. That normal living and decisions, big or small, is me living independence as long as I maintain the lake. As soon as I react, I am no longer independent and so become dependent or influenced on some reaction or external influence feeding me information through my emotions and feelings, and so I would be accepting and allowing manipulation. Manipulation cannot happen without my acceptance and allowance. So I must guard the lake, guard my inner self, and so thereby doing I live independence. The stillness is Independence, and Independence is stillness. If you are not still, you are not Independent. If you are not Independent, you are not still.

Speaking from the stillness. Being still, Being still in the body and muscles, where you can see it inside yourself that you are still, that is what Independence is. Like balancing on one foot yet completely still. That is how Independence exists as a Living Word that you can live inside yourself.

The Power of One Lie

One lie has tremendous power. Telling the truth is not about being good. Being Honest is about what is best for all. You wouldn't want to be lied to, so you can't lie to another. If everyone lied, then we wouldn't be able to trust one another.

Lying actually creates an inefficiency, it wastes time. Economically it wastes time, and so effort and so money. Lying is the same as secrets. When we keep secrets we also waste time, and so effort and money. When we refuse to share and open up information we create inefficiency, we waste time, we waste money. When all information is known and shared, when all technology is open and shared, honestly, truthfully than we as a whole progress, we as a whole prosper. 

One lie gives permission to lie all the time. When we deceive, when we hide, when we hoard, when we attack, it creates inefficiency, we waste time, we waste money. If all the competitors shared all their knowledge, all their technology, all their secrets, when everyone spoke the truth of all products, all businesses, all services, where no lie is ever spoken than we SAVE money, and SAVE time, and be efficient and be effective. Because look here, when you buy something you DON"T NEED, because you were lied to, deceived or manipulated through advertisements, through salespeople, through lies than that is a waste of money. When you buy something that is poorly built and breaks quicker, that is a waste of resources and manpower and time that went into making the product, shipping the product, and you buying the product and going back later when it breaks to buy a new one. This is a waste of time, money and power, that could have been used to something else, which could have been anything, including better human life, better our lives, making sure all have access to food, water, and money. Realize that anytime where inefficiency occurs, that that could have been applied within supporting people and supporting life and getting access to their own life and betterment.

So one lie affects everyone, affects this entire reality. One lie matters.

Day 45 I achieved everything I ever desired, and it meant nothing. What now?

Looking back across my life, I have had many desires and dreams fulfilled. I have experience great things.

I have experienced what's its like to be in a relationship. I experienced what its like to have lots of sex. I have experienced what its like to feel so much love. I have experienced what its like to have amazing friends. I have experienced moments of great laughter and fun.

I have also had my dreams fulfilled. I was able to work and do what I really wanted. I was able to do things I have always wanted to be able to do. I have conquered so many fears and limitations.

During the last years I have experienced somethings strange, where it felt like I had done what I always wanted, and that I have no goal to work towards. At the same time, everything that I desired and wanted was false. This including the places I wanted to work. This includes all of my relationships and friendships. None of it was real or lasted. They were all temporary.

Now looking back across my life experience, based on what I know now, what is my choice for what I desire now? What is my choice for what goal I want? My choice will be backed by my life experience.

The only thing that matter is there being people, people that Exist, therefore BEING people that are honest, consistent, unshakeable committed to Integrity, honesty, respect, preservation, enhancement of all forms of Life. I mean, people that are committed to their deaths. People that are the most Committed, most integrity, like impossible to persuade, or change. Who never cheat, manipulate harm at the cost of life. Where what matters is all life. So the real definition and living of GOOD.

The reason why this matters is because of the following. People that are your friends and loved ones, they will screw you and other forms at life, if they are not this. People that are your coworkers and bosses, will screw you and anyone else, if they are not this. Basically, they will leave you. They will harm you and abuse you. And if you are not equally this then you too will do the same to everyone else given the right circumstances and moments.

People that are committed to Life will never change.

You could have all the money in the world, all the tv, movies. drugs, and whatever. People being what is best for all is all that matters. I have experienced everything I ever wanted, and none of it worked out, because people are not being what is best for all. You cannot ever have a successful relationship, job, or fulfilling one if they, including you, are not best for all. It's impossible. You can fake it, and fake appearance, and even be filthy rich, but it won't fulfill you.

This is what I have learned this life so far. Nothing else matters but this.

SO. This is now what I desire and this will be my only desire. It's not about what I receive. Its about what everyone receives. Because all the other wishes and dreams like world peace, and food for everyone and money for everyone, they will all be meaningless in a WORLD with people that are not best for all, that are unshakeable committed, that are Godly in their principles that are trustworthy, honest and completely Good for all. It would be meaningless otherwise. So that is why this is the only point that matters most. Because having anything else yet NOT this would be fruitless.

People that stand for what is best for all will still support having food for all, and money for all etc... and world peace, but the PEOPLE that are what is best for all are the gift. The food, the money and peace are not the gift. It is the people. Because people are the ones that grow food. Because people are the ones that do services and make goods that people buy with money. People are the ones that don't fight and so maintain peace. It is all people.

So the greatest gift and desire you could have is with people being what is best for all. That is what I desire and that is the only thing I desire. I desire nothing else.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Day 44 Letting go the Idea of me, and embracing US

There is so much that we assume it just who we are, and will always be, and is right to be, and best to be. But what about when who you are is not best to be?

When what best best for we, us, all, is in conflict with self, what then?

Learning to let go of Self, in order to step into the shoes of us, we, the all.

We have seen throughout history and movies, where people falsely step into the shoes of what is good for all, or best for all, where they in fact are upholding a definition of self, a point of ego, a point of SELF that must manifest.

What happens when your self, your identity, the definition, and idea of who you are, your self is nothing, disappears?

You are able to see a grander point of view, a more encompassing point of view, the view of all that exists right here. Doing what is best for all that is here, just make sense, because there is no obstacle, no resistance, no idea or belief of self holding you back from doing what is right and best for all.

There is an emotional suffering that is born out of having an idea of self. For example: THEY abused me. THEY harmed me. THEY manipulated me. THEY tricked me. THEY murdered my family. THEY are evil. THEY are horrible people. THEY are wrong. But what happens when you don't exist, when the me doesn't exist? When you are just a person, and they are just a person. Will you do what is best for all? which by definition means, Best for them and you? It seems evidently, yes.

When you no longer have an identity that can be insulted, or verbally abused, you won't take anything personal. When you no longer exist as something that can be called a name, that can be affected by someone else's action, then you are whole, complete, indivisible, and joyful.

Because true joy can only exist when who you are is not determined by anyone else but yourself. When you are the Joy, the Sun, the Light, that can never be darkened, hidden, or made obscure. Then you will know yourself.

You will cease to exist, yet you exist, as something other than what you were. Something strange in a world that is based on action-reaction. If you no longer react, you can no longer be controlled, except by that which you need to survive, which is money, which is why we need a system that ensure money is available to all unconditionally, which is also an idea of US. Because can you embrace the idea of money for all, as long as you hold onto an idea of self that is tied in definition to money? You can't. So to bring about a world that is best for all we need to tackle the very idea of self as it pertains to all aspects of life = money, sex, relationships, food, work, drugs, appearance, personality, etc... And let go. You are not what you think you are. You just are... in a physical body in this physical world, bound by physical laws.

What is scarier? That this reality is really real and no here after to look forward to? Or that everything you think you are, is just something you think? Cause yeah.

Who are you without thought, definition, belief or idea? Without identity, without personality? Are you special? Are you more? Are you an equal?

What would happen if you no longer feared ever again? Would you be better or worse? Are you ready to question?

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Day 43 You will have what you Love

You are in a room, doing something. Someone enters the rooms and yells at you. They are angry. They back you into a corner.

You tell them in a calm voice, you are not allowed to talk to me this way, I need you to calm down and breathe. They refuse to listen. You then repeat, I won't allow you to talk to me this way, I choose to leave. The reason I leave is because being angry, talking like you do, is not best for you and it is not best for me. So it is best for all if I leave, because it may support you to change. So its your choice.

If they choose to change, you stay.
If they choose to stay the same, you leave.

You don't want to leave, because you love where you are. Yet it is best for all that you leave. You are willing to let go everything you love, everything you have for what is best for all.

You could have also chosen to not say anything. You could have stayed quiet and accept it. If you accept it, then you will guarantee your stay, you will have what you love. If you leave, you will lose everything you love.

If you say something, you risk losing everything.

If you don't say anything, nothing will ever change.

You risk everything, in order to give them a chance at change.

The person won't have the opportunity to change, the chance at it, if you are not willing to risk it all.

If they stop their anger, it is best for them, it is best for you, it is best for everyone around them, so it is best for all.

 You are in a room, doing something. Someone enters the rooms and yells at you. They are angry. They back you into a corner.

What do you do?

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Day 42 The Physical, Continued

The Earth, the air, the water, the land, the nature, the plant.

Animals, the body, the muscles, organs, cells.


To serve this physical reality. To serve this body. To live for the physical.

Living as the physical. Living as the hands, arms, legs, toes, chest, breath, body.

Moving, doing what is needed for the physical.

Imagine people living as Physical.

Imagine all physical needs taken care of.

Imagine growth and expansion of the physical.

Imagine the nurture, care of the physical.

Imagine Living as the physical.

Imagine living no more as mind.

Imagine Living no more as what we think.

Imagine all definitions we think, opinions we think DROP.

Imagine Only Being Here, Physical.

Imagine only the physical is here.

Lets stop serving the mind, and instead use the Mind to serve the Physical.

No more separation.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Day 41 The Physical

I serve the Physical. I don't serve the mind. It's time that we all stop serving the mind, and having everything, including the physical, serve the mind. Instead, its time we start having the mind and ourselves to serve the physical.

Care for the physical.

Guard the physical.

Serve the Physical




The physical.

The meaning of Life is the Physical, it is not the Mind.

The meaning of Life is not our mental experience, or mental definitions.

The Meaning of Life is not what we think, but what is physical

Everything in our heads is delusion and we can believe or create anything imaginary in our heads.

In the physical things are real. They are touchable, they are 3D, they are stable.

It's time we serve and live for the physical..

We fulfill our purpose and meaning when we serve the physical.

We have a full and complete life when we serve the physical.

We need to change our money system so that it serves the physical, so that no more hunger exists, no more living without homes, no more suffering from lack of needs met, lack of money, lack of resources. We need to serve the Physical. Our minds are not real. Our minds have no value. Our minds should be used to serve the physical

Let's do what's best for all, not what is best for the mind.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Day 40 The secret to live without being influenced is to stop influencing others

Solution: If you see someone is reactive, step out of their way. Meaning, if someone is sharing their viewpoint in a reactive manner, I myself want to stop their reaction. But you can't help someone to change if they don't want to. So learning to let go, is a big point to stop the "influence." If you let go of the person inside of you, which really means letting go of your reaction to the person's reaction, then what they say won't have any affect on you. So that letting go, stepping aside, moving out of the way, so you can let them face Life and learn through Life how they need to take responsibility for their emotions and feelings. So assist once, and assess whether they are able/willing/ready for help. If not, then step out of the way. Otherwise, you will fight with them, react with them, argue, sharing your opinions, and keep repeating yourself, and they keep repeating themselves, when the truth is you can't help them, even though you want to help. But helping means helping those who are ready to help themselves. You can't help someone who doesn't want it. And if you try to help someone who doesn't want it, they will react and fight and you are keeping them from facing Life, and facing themselves. It's liking wanting to hold onto an unhealthy relationship with another person. A person only has influence on you if you hold onto the unhealthy relationship. Otherwise what they say would have no meaning as you let them go face life, and face themselves. Its like the statement: your words have no power over me, because I don't give you any power within me, which you do by stepping aside. Don't stand in their way. Don't stop them from leaving. Just live your life and help those who are ready for help. One of the hardest thing for me to do has been to step aside when I see someone reaction is being spread into others, especially children. But the right thing to do, the best for all thing to do is to step aside. You just can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I can only help those who are ready for help. That will always be true. it doesn't make exception for children who are taking on programming from adults. So I have to step aside and let the adults learn from Life. Either Life or someone who has experience will be your teacher for everything. This includes becoming what is best for all. And may only learn in the after life, and that is fine. So its about recognizing what i can do and what I can't do. I cannot help someone, so as to prevent consequence, if they are not ready. I can only assist those who are ready to change through understanding. Otherwise, I will try to use manipulation and influence to get them to change, and they will resist it, and so nothing good comes from that interaction. I cannot save kids. I cannot save people. I can only save myself and help others save themselves, or step out of the way and let them face themselves and gain enough life experience to be ready to save themselves. It is unhealthy to try to save someone that doesn't want to be saved. And trying to save/help the whole of humanity through manipulation, control or influence is not possible,, and if you give yourself permission to do the same to others, than you give permission to be done onto you. So STOP!!!! trying to save, influence, manipulate others, in the NAME of their own good. You cannot, its impossible, it will never happen. You can only help those who are ready and willing. So learn to let go, learn to be able to step out of the way, for THEIR good, and YOUR good. It is best for all. If you have no desire to change another in any way, then its impossible for someone else to change you. It works both ways. If you are willing to walk and share as an equal with someone else, then you are willing to learn and walk with that same person and teach from an equal starting point. 

The secret to live without being influenced is to stop influencing others. 

Friday, September 22, 2017

day 39 I Decide

I learned that I decide everything regarding to what I want, and what I do. This may seem stupidly obvious, but let me paint you a picture where you will most likely believe what you want is not a decision, that it is already just who you are. Let's start painting.

So, Imagine you are a child, or young person, or just any person, whichever best fits this example for you. Imagine that someone asks you what do you want? Pick the example that makes sense for you, but I found that its true in every example. What do you want to eat? What do you want to do? What to do you want to do in Life? What do you want for yourself in the future? Etc... Now...

Now... what is your first response? What is your answer? I bet you that you looked inside yourself to find the answer to the question. And that there was the answer. I have a question for you, where did that answer come from?

Let me try again. Is what you want simply a part of who you are? Is what you want just your personality, your likes and dislikes, your dreams? Does that make more sense?

Meaning, that what you want is already here, is already answered.

If its still not clear, let me try one more time. When you get a feeling and a certain choice feels right, that is how you decide what you want. No?

Because can you make a decision that doesn't feel right?

So look at this, what you want, if it is something you Look For within yourself, then its not a Decision. You did not decide what it is you wanted, you looked for the answer. Why is this important/special? Because your decision is something predetermined. Something ELSE is deciding, and you are just going along for the ride. You are not creating your life. You are not deciding.

When you look for the answer within yourself, that is not the same as looking at everything, and making a decision. You CAN make a decision that doesn't feel right. You are allowed to. You can make any decision, because you are the one deciding. But looking for the answer within yourself, is not applying the skill of decision-maker, instead you are becoming a follower.

So are you a leader or follower within yourself? Do you decide who you are?

This may seem stupid to you, because OF COURSE everything within you is YOU, and RIGHT and what you want. Yet, is it? I mean, how in the hell are these answers coming up within you? Where the heck did they come from? From space? From God? From what? Were you just like created at some point and that's all you have ever been and will be?

Can you or can you not decide who you are, and what you want regarding anything? Can you choose to like something? Can you choose to let go of disliking something? That may seem like crazy, but can you or can you not?

What if you never practicing decision-making, where you can really decide to be any kind of person, or want anything? Did you always just repeat the same words and mantra in your head about who you are?

And when you change, are you REALLY the one changing you? Or are you being changed? Do you change you? Or does something else change you?

Do you have the freedom to decide who you are, what you want? Or are you simply stuck in being who you are, having the wants you have, and just your entire personality and self, that that is all you are and will forever be?

The ability to choose, to decide...

I grew up believing that I had to look within myself for the answer.
I grew up thinking that Who I AM is already here, and I just have to see what I want in the moment, to look for the answers within me.
I thought that and believed that.
But that's not true. The truth is that I can decide to be or want ANYTHING. I literally can. That it is actually a lie to think that what I want is something I have to look for within me. The same applies with everything. From the career/job you pick. From friends you keep. From who you date. From what you do. From what you write. How you speak. What you wear. How you live. And what you think/believe. You can decide to be or do anything. Literally yes. There is NO ANSWER waiting for you within you that IS THE ANSWER. That is a lie we believe and say is true, but its not. What there is within us is our minds, which create thoughts and feelings, and simulate experiences, and record all the decisions we have made. So YES, you can totally look within your mind for an answer but your mind will only give you a thought and an experience based on what you have already done. Yet that is not truth. That is not YOU. That is not you deciding, that is you following.

So we can make this rule, the immediate answer within you is a lie. What you immediately think or feel is simply your mind create a simulated experience, but its not truth, its not a decision.  So never trust, believe or follow your immediate instinct, reaction, feeling or response. Instead always stop, look, assess and decide. Never follow, always decide, and never TRUST what you feel or your immediate first response, feeling, thought or reaction.

Otherwise, you will be a slave to a force that you do not understand, which will because you let it be that way, you just let it happen to yourself. Those are you two choices. And this is how all of humanity is existing currently. Our minds are quite sophisticated, yet still rudimentary. Meaning that it cannot go beyond its programming. Yet YOU CAN. If you decide not to follow, and you decide to create and make every decision ON YOUR OWN, then you can go far beyond the programming and limitations of your mind, your personality, your history, your preferences, yourself.

Imagine having no more enemies because you decide so. It's possible. It may seem crazy now, because you believe enemies must exist. But that is your mind again. There is so much more I can say, and none of it will make much sense, yet all of it is possible to become/decide and be. It will be so simple.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Day 38 Lying takes effort/practice

I observed today that lying takes effort. I was lying today as part of what is required/expected in the system, which meant presenting myself in a desirable way in the eyes of the system. The little bit of lying I did was exhausting. I then observed and realized how pretty much 99% of the time, in the vast majority of everyday life in the system we are lying, and that we have practiced lying and that it takes effort, and that we end up tired and drained because of all the lying.

I saw I was tired from what little lying I did. After time and practice I could get better at it, and less tired, but still I don't want to lie.

Can you see where lying occurs daily? A pop psychology article pointed out how we lie throughout the day, where most people cannot spend like 5 minutes without speaking a lie, on average. So can you think of some examples of lying?

How about when someone ask how you are doing? Do you tell the truth or do you lie? Do you just say, Im good, Im okay etc... Is that the truth?

Or how about in fashion magazines? Or fashion in general? Or modeling? Or posing for photographs? It takes effort to put on that face. It takes effort to smile that way, no? I mean if you look at the first photographs of people, no one would smile because they were being natural, themselves. I mean, sure, on occasion you may actually capture someone smiling for some real reason in their environment, then yes that is a real smile. But are all the people who now smile when having their photograph taking really happy? really smiling? Or are they smiling for the picture?

Or how about in pretty much all jobs or work, where you work with clients/customers, or coworkers. You put on a face. You put on a mask. You put on a smile. This takes effort, sustained effort. This is not how you would naturally be. How would it be like to be yourself, without effort? Is that possible?

Some people in some work, don't put on as much of a mask, maybe they don't need to, it is not called for. Yet see for yourself what you can see within you.

Looking at the process of living words, I expect Living words to be integrated where there is no effort, where it is not like lying. Like the difference between an actor who acts, which takes effort and is a lie, versus someone living and sharing something that is a part of who they are.

I don't really know. I do know that I suck at lying. I can hardly lie. I remember Bernard speaking about how parents train their kids to lie in the system, to be able to deceive. I remember how Bernard said people in universities are there because they couldn't get a job in the System. And I know for a fact I am good at taking data, analyzing it and comparing to reality, and describing the results in real terms. I know I am good at looking at the physical reality, and physical truth. I know I am a scientist at heart and a truth seeker. I know I am more unbiased than most people I know. I know I suck at lying.

I was trained to lie. But I committed myself never to do that kind of lie again. This lie I speak of is the lie of positivity. I could have been rich. I could have written a book. But I won't. Because someone needs to change. And so I made that stand.

So I will practice the minor lying of a workplace  environment. Because I may need that to survive. And I will see if I can get a job in a Honest working environment, which means science and numbers. Because the greatest gift I can offer in a work view point is my brain. So I can work to analyze data and run advanced analysis for teams of scientists/researchers. That shit is easy for me. I have been asking the question, what CAN i give to the world, instead of what I WANT to give. Because I need to be practical. There is a lot I want to happen, but what can I do, NOW. What am I able to do NOW. What have I been training to do across my entire life. What are my skills. And frankly, my difficulty to lie actually allows me to see the truth better. I can see numbers for what they are. I can see the truth of humanity. I can see what we need to be and become.

If you grew up to be a master liar, you need to assess for yourself. Whether to commit to never do that again, or to use it for support change. Because for me, my honesty was never to use my skill to lie with positivity ever again. And I won't. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did. That is my honesty. Now, maybe you have to make the same choice. I am now trying to learn how to lie in a system point of view in terms of what is expected, in order to survive. So maybe you have to do it to survive. Or maybe you can find a way to not have to depend on lying for survival. I don't know. Maybe you can find a work that suits your talents or skills that don't relate to lying so much, or not at all.

I also observe that we as humanity forget we are lying and we take the lie as the truth. So that is really dangerous as well. So its not really about lying is BAD. No. its about what is the truth. Because the truth is real, it is physical. Its the difference between illusion and reality. Its the significance of really holding water or not holding anything. That is what is at stake. I understand that it is difficult to grasp if you are deep within lying, because you believe that lying is just as real as the truth. But its not. The truth is 1000% more. I don't ask you to believe me, but I do ask that you see for yourself if what I say is true.

So at the very least, if you have to lie for survival, KNOW and REMEMBER it is a lie, and not the truth, and KNOW and REMEMBER what the truth actually is. Because if you forget that, if you start believing and get wrapped up in the LIE, if you allow yourself to become succumb to the fantasies, the feelings, the emotions, the imaginations, the definitions, that are all LIES, then you get lost. So do your best for your sake. Lie, but know what the truth is, and don't LIE if you don't have to. Only Lie if you need to. Once your survival is taken care of, then don't lie ever again.

You might even be faced with the choice of lying and your survival, where the right choice is actually to not lie, have integrity, at the risk of not surviving. That can also be a choice you might be faced with, where you will risk everything and even lose everything, yet still have integrity. I can't say when such a moment will be, but it does exist. Ultimately it all depends on you. It depends on your awareness, on your relationship with yourself, on your ability to know yourself, self-forgive, be self-honest, live responsibility, and share yourself with others.

The more you TEACH others the more you learn. So the more you share yourself, the more you learn about yourself. We each become a teacher the moment we share or speak. So that is why blogging is so important. It is a space where I can speak without lies, and so speak naturally, easily, freely, and I get to know myself. It is a pure space. And as I teach you, through sharing me, I learn more about me. It's a win win. If I had to do blogging anonymously because of workplace system, then I would, because its still me, its still my word, and it is still me sharing me, and learning more about me, while teaching others.

The truth sets you free. When you set yourself free to speak the truth, you will know yourself. The true you is not a lie, it is true. So blue.

But I my blogging doesn't affect my ability to work in system, then I will sure as hell be visible. Because this is me, this is true, and this is Great!!!

One day it will be not only be okay to speak the truth, but completely fucking normal to do so. That it becomes weird to lie, and strange to present yourself differently than who you are, or expressing what you are experiencing in yourself in the moment.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Day37 Scared of being alone

I have this fear within me of being alone within who I am, without. So I am afraid of being who I am, and being the only one like that in my environment, my without. Because I am reacting with fear, I want to react by changing to be like my environment. I want to fit in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being alone within being the only one like me in my environment, my without.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change who I am to be like my environment, because I am afraid of being alone, as the only one like me in my without, my surroundings.

When and as I see myself wanting to change who I am to be like my environment because I am afraid of being the only one like me - I stop and I breathe - I realize it is dishonest to change because I am afraid - I realize it is dishonest to be someone because I want to fit in - I realize I would still be afraid of not fitting in, even when I fit in - I realize that fitting in does not remove the fear of standing alone in an environment - I realize that it is honest to be who I am, without fear - I realize it is honest when I don't allow reactions to change- I realize it is honest to stand as who I am, even in the face of being the only one like me- I realize that by being me, and being without fear of not fitting in, I am in fact supporting others to also not be afraid of fitting in - I realize that by being me and not being afraid, I am supporting others to no longer be afraid - I realize that by being me, and being honest, and not being afraid, I am supporting others to be honest - I realize I don't have to be the same for others to like me or to work with me, and that it is their decision about who they are and whether they accept  or reject me, and that decision does not determine who I am, nor does it say anything about me- I realize that the truth of who I am is right here for me to see directly- I realize the truth is that I am physical and that all fear is dishonest - I realize that all the mind is dishonest - I realize all image is dishonest - I realize that the only honesty is what is physical fact, physical truth, undeniable, and unchanged by opinion, perception, and belief and readily available/accessible by all - I realize I am not an opinion, belief, thought, or perception- I realize I am a being, in a physical body, and I am committed to become aligned with physical reality and this physical body and be and do what is best for all physical things in this physical reality.

I commit myself to stand as who I am, as a physical body, in physical reality, for all physical things, and that this commitment stands regardless if I am the only one like me.

When I am with people, I want to talk like them, and be like them so I can fit in. I want to form relationships, and feel like a part. I like how I feel. I feel like its the best day ever. I feel like from this day forth life will never be the same. I feel like I am king of the world! I feel everything is perfect. I am willing to change and no longer stand by physical reality, and only care about feeling this way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like its the best day ever when I am part of a group.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like from this day forth, life will never be the same, when I am with a group of people and I am accepted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like I am king of the world, when I have relationships with people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only care about feeling so fucking amazing from having relationships, and being part of a group, and fitting in.

When and as I see myself feel so fucking amazing when I am fitting in with a group, and being a part and having relationships with people - I stop and I breathe- I realize with what I feel, I am willing to give up on being physical and simply go after feeling this way forever - I realize that what I feel is a feeling - I realize that what I feel is energy triggered by what I think I see and what I think is happening - I realize I am thinking that I am a part of a group - I realize I am thinking that I belong- I realize that I am thinking that I am accepted - I realize that I am thinking I am fitting in - I realize that thinking is not physical - I realize that thinking is an illusion - I realize thinking is not real - I realize that what I think is happening is all in my head - I realize the only truth is that I am physically here and other people are physically here and that we are physically interacting - I realize that the only best relationship and interaction is that which is best for all - I realize that what is best for all is to accept everything, and see everything as fitting in as physical bodies on this physical earth, and that all is a part of everything - I realize that it is best for all to see everyone as a friends, and equally valuable, and all being part of One - I realize that I have a relationship with everyone- I realize that everyone has a relationship with everyone - I realize that it is best for all to have a relationship with everyone that sees us as all equals, and as one, and as beings in physical bodies - I realize that feeling good is an illusion - I realize that feeling bad is an illusion- I realize that feeling physical reality is real -

I commit myself to be physical, feel physical reality, and have a relationship with everyone that is All is one and equal, and we are all beings in physical bodies, and what I think is not real or feel otherwise is not real.

Friday, September 1, 2017

Day 36 Success in Facing Manipulation

So I had a moment of success where someone was manipulating me through confidence/anger/aggression and when that moment happened, I instantly in a flash had recognize what they are doing and being aware of who I am and the pattern of reaction and what I have walked in my blogs/writing. So in that flash moment I then didn't participate in the game of reaction where I became very physical and there was no emotion reaction within me, where normally what I would feel would be nervousness, intimidation, weak and agreeableness. So I spoke myself in that moment as that, basically pointing the reality of the situation, neither good or bad, just what is. In that moment the person also changed, they stopped their manipulation point.

So because of the process I have walked so far in identifying manipulating, when someone is manipulating and my reactions, and their responsibility and my responsibility, I assisted that person and myself. What happened next though was that they were kind of reacting differently. Kind of like unexpected that I responded that way. For me I was able to stand in living words of enjoyment and expression. Because, understand here that the goal is not to destroy manipulators, or harm them. The goal is to unify. The goal is to join everyone together. The goal is to stop all reactions and all manipulations.

One of the worst things you can do when someone manipulates you is to blame them. I have said this before in my blogs. Blame, in itself, is a manipulation. If you speak your blame, you are trying to manipulate how someone else feels where they feel and believe THEY are at fault, and not you. In truth, we are all responsible, and we do not need emotions and feelings for understanding that. We just need to understand. So blame/manipulation is useless. And again, manipulation can be used for a moment to teach something but one must make sure to take responsibility to explain/show that you are manipulating in order to teach and that the person can use self-forgiveness, where you can show them and teach them how. To simply manipulate someone's emotoins and feelings, and without showing them what is going on, is simply unacceptable. That is the abuse that keeps the world as it is.

We need more people to stand up and show others the process of self-change. We need others to start being examples and to teach through their examples and sharings. We need to end all manipulation. The only way to end all manipulation is if we all walk the process.

When you stand in the face of someone's manipulation and stand unchanged, and in fact showing that you can self-express and live words, that has an affect on those around you. People who manipulate are out to bring out your reaction. If they fail then something is wrong in their eyes.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Day 35 Follow up on The Biases Toward Women

So in a previous post I did forgiveness on my beliefs about women. In this blog I wanted to do a follow up.

So, within rereading my blog post I have new insights. So, basically imagine one of those women groups or female groups that believe women are powerful, and believe women hold some special power, that there is something sacred about women, and that believe the world would be better if ran by women. Like some special female spiritual empowerment group thing.

Imagine the above. Now, would you say that you want YOU to be let's say all these things: Powerful, DEEP, Strong, Compassionate, Caring, Insightful, Intelligent etc...   just because you were a women?

Look at this point here. Would you want to BE anything JUST because you are a WOMAN????

If you look at this point in self-honesty you will see it is incredibly limiting and incredibly insulting to yourself and to everyone, including the female body, to think that WHO YOU ARE, what you LIVE, the words you are like Strong, Deep, Compassionate, has ANYTHING to do with the fact that you have a woman's body.

I mean like really???

Because if you believe you ARE these things BECAUSE you have a woman's body, then that means that YOU ARE NOT THESE THINGS. Simple. You are not these things, your BODY is the reason why you are these things, BUT in fact YOU ARE THE THE REASON for being lets say Strong, Independent, Compassionate etc...

I mean that's utterly ridiculous.

Instead if you form a group, let it be a group for the points of Compassionate, Caring, Strong, Deep, Insightful etc...  Meaning its about WHO YOU ARE, and not about your body, your vagina, your penis, or your appearance. I mean that is common sense.

Female empowerment is Stupid. PEOPLE empowerment, LIFE empowerment, EVERYONE living what is best for ALL, makes sense.

If you are supporting FEMALE EMPOWERMENT, or ANY group that is individually EMPOWERED separate from the Rest of Life, then know you are not supporting what is best for all, and that you are creating war, conflict and separation. You are on an EGO trip. You are riding the waves of energy.

Expression is not limited by Gender, SEX, appearance, skin color or culture. ANYONE can LIVE ANY EXPRESSION.

It is in our MINDS that we believe separation exist, that we create a perception of separate groups, separate cultures and separate expressions. These borders don't exist in reality. Just like country borders. It is all in our heads.

We are stronger together. The truth is that we are ALL in this together. We are ALL equally alive. We all Equally Exist. We are Life. We just have to stand as Life, as ALL as ONE and EQUAL. This is the only truth. This is the only one reality. We exist together. So let's Live it and Be it, let's be what is best for ALL. 

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Day 34 The Value of Being Alone

So the other day I learned something. This relates to the point of Manipulation that I face and the point of being alone.

So basically I change when I am completely alone. When I am completely alone, all the reactions I am having to things in my environment, mainly people drop.  So basic truth is I am not YET fully ME, living me, without reaction, and comfortable enough to express my Real expression, in the face of rejection and resistance of people.

Across my life, whenever I express myself FREELY and REAL, people judge me. They make fun of me. They tell me I am WEIRD. This has an effect on me. I react. I want to one day be strong enough where I don't react at all and I continue being me.That day is not here.

So basically, here is the lesson, that we each need to spend time alone for part of the day or week or just whenever you need it. Because this alone time you will allow yourself to express your real self, and real expression at least part of the day/time.

If you don't then you will always be in reaction, and in reality you will be suppressing your REAL SELF. So let's call it that, suppressing your real expression.

Your real expression is that if you are all alone, and you have no reaction. If you are able to express that with others, then that is a great feat in process. That would be a MAJOR accomplishment.

Seriously, if you can express who you really are when your alone with just yourself, with others, with anyone, wow!

In the mean time, all of us need to learn, as well as not go crazy. So to avoid going crazy, spend some alone time and express your real self.

Part of the process of self-expression and living words will involve spending time alone with yourself to learn how to be yourself. That will be one thing to do.

Another thing to do is to face our reactions to expressing our real expression in the face of people resisting and judging you. Essentially they are manipulating you. They are bringing out your emotions, cause it makes them feel good. It makes them feel good to judge you as weird, and it makes them feel good in believing they are normal. They are of course lying to themselves. Being normal is a lie. Remember people are evil. Anyone who does anything for feelings/emotions, is by default evil. Evil, because they will kill, maim and harm others for it. This includes judgment.

Another possibility is that you may really resist being alone. This may be because you need face something. This is normal, which I mean common. Once you face yourself, you will gain the point of expressing yourself alone with yourself. But I'm sure you could remember times in your life where you were able to express alone with yourself. If you cannot, then it might be blocked in your memories a bit, You will see more about what you have lived and done the more that you face yourself. There is a natural fear to know yourself.

Through self-forgiveness we can all learn to express ourselves alone with ourselves or with others. It will just take some time and practice. In the mean time, focus all the time you can to gain access to yourself and the gifts of knowing yourself and expressing with yourself. I found self-forgiveness to feel quite good. Especially the deeper I went and more honest I became. There will be challenges. You will fall. and you will pick yourself up again. Welcome to Life. Welcome to Desteni.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Day 33 The Real Evil

Let's talk about the Real Evil in this reality.

Today I saw how I automatically started speaking in a SAD WAY, even though I didn't feel sad. I spoke this way automatically because I needed to tell someone something and I didn't know how to, and if I spoke this way it would make it easier for them to hear me. Because when I speak in a sad way I manipulate the person. They can't feel angry at me. Cause I am sad, and that brings out emotions in them. I have faced people speaking in a sad way to me and that caused reactions in me.

So this is PROOF that we manipulate people automatically, unconsciously. Was I aware that I was doing it? Only when I saw in the moment that yes I was speaking sad, and no I did not feel sad. I did not make a decision to now speak sad. It happened automatically. So theoretically I can see how we all as humanity are like this. We are all manipulating all the time without really being aware of it.

Afterwards I had a good feeling. I felt good in what I did. I just felt like smiling. Did I decide to feel this way? No. Yet I enjoy the benefits.

So let's all look at the real evil. Where are YOU manipulating people? Where are you speaking a certain way, doing a certain thinking, using specific words to manipulate people around you automatically?

Where do you speak in a happy, nice way? To get what you want.

When do you speak in a sad way? To avoid trouble.

When do you speak in an angry way? To get someone to stop doing something.

If you do any of this you are evil. And based on what I have seen we are all still doing this. We do this with friends and our families. We do this with our partners and children. When you want you child to do something you will speak in a happy voice. When you want your partner to stop something you speak in an angry way. When you want your Friends to do a favor for you, you speak in a sad way. When you want a stranger to give you attention, you talk about Love.

We justify and excuse our manipulation. Would you like to be treated this way? Would you like to be deceived this way? Would you like it if someone came up to you, spoke in anger, and sadness?

The thing is we are all addicted to being manipulated. We love being spoken to in a happy and excited way. We love it when someone flirts with us. But if you are an addict, would you want someone to continue your addiction or help you stop?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate other because it makes me feel better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak in an aggressive way to get what I want.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak in a sad way to get what I want.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak in a happy way to get what I want.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change how I speak and what I say.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enjoy manipulating other people.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that I am the real evil in the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take advantage of other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use other people for my own benefit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only care about myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I am more important than other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to excuse manipulation.

I commit myself to do everything I can to call out people for their manipulation, and bring them to their responsibility in spoken and written word, just through being honest and speaking the truth.

I commit myself to create a world where no one is allowed to deceive or manipulate.

I commit myself to bring forth everyone's self-honesty.

I commit myself to hold everyone accountable.