Yogan's Journey to Life

I have been through abusive situations with various people. And in each situation I haven't stood up for whats best for all. I will write out several of these situations. What happened. What I said, and did, and what the other person said and did. I will also describe how I felt. I will then write out how to stand up to the abuse so that it becomes what is best for all. Abusive situation #1 A person wanted to discuss something with me and I was not interested. They got upset. They insisted and I also insisted no. Eventually they said I'm gonna take this glass and smash it over your head. I immediately felt scared, threatened and intimidated. I have been living with this fear for 2 years. And it has forever changed how I viewed this person and how we relate. In that situation though I didn't say anything. I retreated. I was scared. Now, what should I have done? Putting myself back in that situation in my Imagination, and memory, I see I should have said the following:

I made a mistake and it affected someone else. In this real time moment, I can only apologize, but its not enough, so I can do what I can now to make it right. I can pay back what I can, or give what I can to make it right. Apologizing is not something i practiced much of. But its needed. When I wrong someone, I need to make it right. I can keep apologizing to the person, telling them I am sorry, and I promise not to do this again, and that this is what I will do next time. I can give them a gift as gesture, or do them a favor, or pay them for something that they had to do because of my mistake. Its not about the gift, favor or money, but its about the gesture. Its about showing the person your intent in being serious in changing, and to do what you can NOW to make things right and redeem yourself. You cannot change the past, but you can take action NOW. This is important for healthy relationships, real relationships and sincere relationships. This is what I applied and learned this we

So when we experience pain in our bodies, for whatever reason, maybe a mysterious reason, I notice that in me that I had let it affect my behavior and actions. And  I realize I cannot let that happen. That I need to be able to move myself and make sure that my behavior and actions are not worsen by what pain or suffering that is going on in my body, which includes how I talk to people and what I say. Pain and suffering is a condition and state of being alive. When you work your muscles you are literally tearing your muscles, that is normal, and how it is suppose to work. What the body does is that it provides a painkiller for you to not feel the pain, Dopamine. That is why when you run you can get what is called a runners high. Sometimes though, you will just feel like shit all over your body, and you don't know why, but you cannot let that affect you. There is something in many cultures about being a Man or becoming an Adult, where you now must be able to withstand Pain. In star w

So in my process I have connected the dimension of sound to the solution of living words, where within living a word, I obviously will be speaking in daily life, and one thing I do to cross-reference my living of the word is the sound I use when speaking. Because obviously, if I were to be attempting to live the sound leader and I end up speaking/sounding angry, scared or nervous, I am not effectively living the word leader. Now, this assessment or judgment or determination that what my sound is like must be from me, because obviously others can say, assess, determine your sound, but they could be wrong, just as you could be wrong. The cross-reference I trust in checking my sound is by looking at my memories and looking where else I have used this sound and what happening in the moment and within me. The sound I use is very specific and has a history. So the very specific sound leader that is accompanying living the word leader, has a history and is specific. This history is very short

Chloe Leanne Brooks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYChu-UvzL8 There is much we do not know unless we experience the loss of something. Do you appreciate your own food, your body? Do you appreciate the air, the ability to walk up, the ability to dress yourself, take a shower? Do you appreciate the chance at being alive and live, be a part of the world, being able to be, live and interact with people in the world? When you look at silly reasons, excuses, fears, about what if they don't like you, what if things go bad, what if things don't work out, what if your dreams, goals, plans don't pan out. Look at the fact that you are alive and could actually do these things, attempt such things. Because one day you won't have the opportunity anymore, your time will be up. This is true for everyone. No one lives forever. Learn from others and the experiences they are going through, like Chloe Brooks who shares herself in this video. Place yourself in her shoes and see thr

Education is important. No doubt. Yet there are doubters. But what is education? For me I have only recently come to appreciate and, see from an new perspective, Education and what it is. There are a number of topics that I can cover, I will try to cover them all. Education is a word. I can reflect that it is a word. I can recall and remember all the ways this one word can be used. It is connected in my brain to these word possibilities: School, College, University, classes, subjects, math, history, science, literature, teachers, nature vs. nurture, experience, skill, self-taught, questioning, curiosity, truth, honesty, objective, unbiased, arguments, thesis, question, hypothesis, nature, the earth, reality, morality, ethics, best for all, understanding, learning, open. The fact that I connect all these words to the word education is proof that I have a deep, rich, complex education, that is aligned not with fantasy, manipulation, or lies. For some people, education is about such t

There is an entertainment going on and its not centered in Hollywood California, or Nashville, Tennessee, or Bollywood, or in the internet. It is actually found pretty much everywhere across the globe. It is in our heads, the heads of people. There is an entertainment happening that is cannot be matched by all the executive studios, producers, actors, singers, comedians around the world combined. It is the form entertainment that we have created with our minds and only we can stop it. With our heads, our minds, we can create amazing highs, higher than all the drugs. We create these highs and we stay in them. You cannot fight these highs, because entertainment thrives off of conflict. You see it across all the movies and tv shows, all books, songs, stories, games... without conflict they couldn't exist, it wouldn't be called a story. Drama depends on conflict. And Life is destroyed through/from conflict. An existence, a human population that lives off of Entertainment, wit

What is held within the word family? What is the information that we carry within from our life experience that is stored within the word family? Your Life Experience, this Word, the Information, all of it will be activated and lived/possessed when it is turned on. The word is turned on with the proper triggers. Your family will always be your family. When you compare how you behave, what you physically say, how you sound when you are speaking as and within the word Family, to when you are not, there is a difference. When you meet a stranger, when you meet someone for the first time, there is much respect and civility. How come with the people we have known the longest, our family, can the really worst of us, the really evil of us can exist? Maybe its because we have defined our family as always being our family, and that no matter what we say or do to them, or they unto us, that they will always be our family, so it is okay, because they love you DEEP down. When it comes to fami

When two people come together to start a family, their relationship as a couple while raising their kids is imprinted and transferred into their children. This is what I will be describing today. In past blogs I have analyzed described how parents imprint themselves onto their kids, but this was in the context of the parents as Individuals. Today, I am specifically looking at the Relationship of the parents, and how that imprints onto the children. Looking at this specific dimensions yields new insights onto this subject. In the general knowledge and beliefs people have, I have observed people saying that its important that a child's parents stay married and divorce causes harm. I have also heard about research studies looking at fighting, and yelling and general abusive environment and how that also harms the child emotionally, and mentally, affecting their development. Within my own self-work, through the desteni tools, I focus primarily on helping myself to transcend pattern

Oneness and Equality means that you are willing to do anything for the whole. You are willing to give up privileges, rights, if these things stand in a way of what is best for all. You are willing to follow rules and laws if these support what is best for all. You are willing to give up guns, drugs, alcohol, sex, freedom if it meant what is best for all. You have to consider the relativity of things. Relative this. Right now the world has seen incredible expansion and growth. If oil/gasoline was never discovered, we wouldn't have all that the richest 50% has access to on planet earth. Do you know what oil and gasoline is? It is the living body, the living tissue of plants and animals that has been stewing for a fucking long time. It is a very Condensed form of energy that humans just found. But it took a fucking long time to create. So you do the math. Things are relative. Freedoms are relative. They are relative to what our economic luxury and our environment has to offer. Hum

There is a struggle within oneself. The struggle is for power. But we incorrectly place  power over others as more important then power over ourselves. What is power over self? Power ove Self is being able to stop what you are feeling, what you are thinking, and reacting within yourself. It is the domain of your body. That is what you have power over. How we are currently existing as Humanity, as all people is that we don't have power over ourselves and so we seek power over others. Why? We are seeking power over others because we are not giving ourselves the power over ourselves, which is our birthright. To exist, you have the right to have power over your self, your thoughts, what you feel, your backchat, your reactions. And if we don't stand within our birthright, we are standing outside of what is right for ourselves, so we feel wrong and inadequate and weak and we are seeking for someone else that we may either control with power or that can control us with power.

My only desire to for there to BE people that are best for all, best for all life. So how can I make there be? By making it, by creating it. Making and creating takes time. I live in a world where my time is dependent on money. If I have none, my time is up. So I need money. If I go for a career that is well secured, has a long future, that is stable, that pays well, then I should do that. If I don't I will have a mediocre job that is not secure, unsure future, unstable, doesn't pay well and I wouldn't have the time anyway to create or make anything. Within having a stable career I will have SOME time I can dedicate to creating/making people, the future, which is better than NO time, and it will be for as long as I live because the work is stable and has a long future. This is the best I can do. If I could have someone PAY for me to be able to create/make the people and the future for the REST of my life I would do it. The same as as I do my career and make money for th

"Only slaves exist within pain and suffering, because they believe themselves to be ‘victim to’ some form of power greater than themselves – and have no resolve to stand up independently, but merely accept and allow the continuation of accepted and allowed pain and suffering." http://desteni.org/desteni-material/blog/marilyn-monroe-human-design-menstruation   I am standing up independently. I am learning to apply independence as a LIVING word. I am not trying to live independence through something external, which means I am not trying to find independence through how much money I have, my status, my popularity, being outside of the family home, or anything else that is external. I am learning to live independence as a LIVING word, which means inside my self, my presence, in relationship with myself, how I move, live, and speak. Independence as a living word has nothing to do with what others say, think of me, comment of me, or how they compare themselves to me. What

One lie has tremendous power. Telling the truth is not about being good. Being Honest is about what is best for all. You wouldn't want to be lied to, so you can't lie to another. If everyone lied, then we wouldn't be able to trust one another. Lying actually creates an inefficiency, it wastes time. Economically it wastes time, and so effort and so money. Lying is the same as secrets. When we keep secrets we also waste time, and so effort and money. When we refuse to share and open up information we create inefficiency, we waste time, we waste money. When all information is known and shared, when all technology is open and shared, honestly, truthfully than we as a whole progress, we as a whole prosper.  One lie gives permission to lie all the time. When we deceive, when we hide, when we hoard, when we attack, it creates inefficiency, we waste time, we waste money. If all the competitors shared all their knowledge, all their technology, all their secrets, when everyone sp

Looking back across my life, I have had many desires and dreams fulfilled. I have experience great things. I have experienced what's its like to be in a relationship. I experienced what its like to have lots of sex. I have experienced what its like to feel so much love. I have experienced what its like to have amazing friends. I have experienced moments of great laughter and fun. I have also had my dreams fulfilled. I was able to work and do what I really wanted. I was able to do things I have always wanted to be able to do. I have conquered so many fears and limitations. During the last years I have experienced somethings strange, where it felt like I had done what I always wanted, and that I have no goal to work towards. At the same time, everything that I desired and wanted was false. This including the places I wanted to work. This includes all of my relationships and friendships. None of it was real or lasted. They were all temporary. Now looking back across my life ex

There is so much that we assume it just who we are, and will always be, and is right to be, and best to be. But what about when who you are is not best to be? When what best best for we, us, all, is in conflict with self, what then? Learning to let go of Self, in order to step into the shoes of us, we, the all. We have seen throughout history and movies, where people falsely step into the shoes of what is good for all, or best for all, where they in fact are upholding a definition of self, a point of ego, a point of SELF that must manifest. What happens when your self, your identity, the definition, and idea of who you are, your self is nothing, disappears? You are able to see a grander point of view, a more encompassing point of view, the view of all that exists right here. Doing what is best for all that is here, just make sense, because there is no obstacle, no resistance, no idea or belief of self holding you back from doing what is right and best for all. There is an e

You are in a room, doing something. Someone enters the rooms and yells at you. They are angry. They back you into a corner. You tell them in a calm voice, you are not allowed to talk to me this way, I need you to calm down and breathe. They refuse to listen. You then repeat, I won't allow you to talk to me this way, I choose to leave. The reason I leave is because being angry, talking like you do, is not best for you and it is not best for me. So it is best for all if I leave, because it may support you to change. So its your choice. If they choose to change, you stay. If they choose to stay the same, you leave. You don't want to leave, because you love where you are. Yet it is best for all that you leave. You are willing to let go everything you love, everything you have for what is best for all. You could have also chosen to not say anything. You could have stayed quiet and accept it. If you accept it, then you will guarantee your stay, you will have what you love. I

The Earth, the air, the water, the land, the nature, the plant. Animals, the body, the muscles, organs, cells. Physical. To serve this physical reality. To serve this body. To live for the physical. Living as the physical. Living as the hands, arms, legs, toes, chest, breath, body. Moving, doing what is needed for the physical. Imagine people living as Physical. Imagine all physical needs taken care of. Imagine growth and expansion of the physical. Imagine the nurture, care of the physical. Imagine Living as the physical. Imagine living no more as mind. Imagine Living no more as what we think. Imagine all definitions we think, opinions we think DROP. Imagine Only Being Here, Physical. Imagine only the physical is here. Lets stop serving the mind, and instead use the Mind to serve the Physical. No more separation.

I serve the Physical. I don't serve the mind. It's time that we all stop serving the mind, and having everything, including the physical, serve the mind. Instead, its time we start having the mind and ourselves to serve the physical. Care for the physical. Guard the physical. Serve the Physical Nurture Grow Expand The physical. The meaning of Life is the Physical, it is not the Mind. The meaning of Life is not our mental experience, or mental definitions. The Meaning of Life is not what we think, but what is physical Everything in our heads is delusion and we can believe or create anything imaginary in our heads. In the physical things are real. They are touchable, they are 3D, they are stable. It's time we serve and live for the physical.. We fulfill our purpose and meaning when we serve the physical. We have a full and complete life when we serve the physical. We need to change our money system so that it serves the physical, so that no mor

Solution: If you see someone is reactive, step out of their way. Meaning, if someone is sharing their viewpoint in a reactive manner, I myself want to stop their reaction. But you can't help someone to change if they don't want to. So learning to let go, is a big point to stop the "influence." If you let go of the person inside of you, which really means letting go of your reaction to the person's reaction, then what they say won't have any affect on you. So that letting go, stepping aside, moving out of the way, so you can let them face Life and learn through Life how they need to take responsibility for their emotions and feelings. So assist once, and assess whether they are able/willing/ready for help. If not, then step out of the way. Otherwise, you will fight with them, react with them, argue, sharing your opinions, and keep repeating yourself, and they keep repeating themselves, when the truth is you can't help them, even though you want to help. But

I learned that I decide everything regarding to what I want, and what I do. This may seem stupidly obvious, but let me paint you a picture where you will most likely believe what you want is not a decision, that it is already just who you are. Let's start painting. So, Imagine you are a child, or young person, or just any person, whichever best fits this example for you. Imagine that someone asks you what do you want? Pick the example that makes sense for you, but I found that its true in every example. What do you want to eat? What do you want to do? What to do you want to do in Life? What do you want for yourself in the future? Etc... Now... Now... what is your first response? What is your answer? I bet you that you looked inside yourself to find the answer to the question. And that there was the answer. I have a question for you, where did that answer come from? Let me try again. Is what you want simply a part of who you are? Is what you want just your personality, your li

I observed today that lying takes effort. I was lying today as part of what is required/expected in the system, which meant presenting myself in a desirable way in the eyes of the system. The little bit of lying I did was exhausting. I then observed and realized how pretty much 99% of the time, in the vast majority of everyday life in the system we are lying, and that we have practiced lying and that it takes effort, and that we end up tired and drained because of all the lying. I saw I was tired from what little lying I did. After time and practice I could get better at it, and less tired, but still I don't want to lie. Can you see where lying occurs daily? A pop psychology article pointed out how we lie throughout the day, where most people cannot spend like 5 minutes without speaking a lie, on average. So can you think of some examples of lying? How about when someone ask how you are doing? Do you tell the truth or do you lie? Do you just say, Im good, Im okay etc... Is th

I have this fear within me of being alone within who I am, without. So I am afraid of being who I am, and being the only one like that in my environment, my without. Because I am reacting with fear, I want to react by changing to be like my environment. I want to fit in. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being alone within being the only one like me in my environment, my without. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change who I am to be like my environment, because I am afraid of being alone, as the only one like me in my without, my surroundings. When and as I see myself wanting to change who I am to be like my environment because I am afraid of being the only one like me - I stop and I breathe - I realize it is dishonest to change because I am afraid - I realize it is dishonest to be someone because I want to fit in - I realize I would still be afraid of not fitting in, even when I fit in - I realize that fitting in does not re

So I had a moment of success where someone was manipulating me through confidence/anger/aggression and when that moment happened, I instantly in a flash had recognize what they are doing and being aware of who I am and the pattern of reaction and what I have walked in my blogs/writing. So in that flash moment I then didn't participate in the game of reaction where I became very physical and there was no emotion reaction within me, where normally what I would feel would be nervousness, intimidation, weak and agreeableness. So I spoke myself in that moment as that, basically pointing the reality of the situation, neither good or bad, just what is. In that moment the person also changed, they stopped their manipulation point. So because of the process I have walked so far in identifying manipulating, when someone is manipulating and my reactions, and their responsibility and my responsibility, I assisted that person and myself. What happened next though was that they were kind of re

So in a previous post I did forgiveness on my beliefs about women. In this blog I wanted to do a follow up. So, within rereading my blog post I have new insights. So, basically imagine one of those women groups or female groups that believe women are powerful, and believe women hold some special power, that there is something sacred about women, and that believe the world would be better if ran by women. Like some special female spiritual empowerment group thing. Imagine the above. Now, would you say that you want YOU to be let's say all these things: Powerful, DEEP, Strong, Compassionate, Caring, Insightful, Intelligent etc...   just because you were a women? Look at this point here. Would you want to BE anything JUST because you are a WOMAN???? If you look at this point in self-honesty you will see it is incredibly limiting and incredibly insulting to yourself and to everyone, including the female body, to think that WHO YOU ARE, what you LIVE, the words you are like Stro

So the other day I learned something. This relates to the point of Manipulation that I face and the point of being alone. So basically I change when I am completely alone. When I am completely alone, all the reactions I am having to things in my environment, mainly people drop.  So basic truth is I am not YET fully ME, living me, without reaction, and comfortable enough to express my Real expression, in the face of rejection and resistance of people. Across my life, whenever I express myself FREELY and REAL, people judge me. They make fun of me. They tell me I am WEIRD. This has an effect on me. I react. I want to one day be strong enough where I don't react at all and I continue being me.That day is not here. So basically, here is the lesson, that we each need to spend time alone for part of the day or week or just whenever you need it. Because this alone time you will allow yourself to express your real self, and real expression at least part of the day/time. If you don&#

Let's talk about the Real Evil in this reality. Today I saw how I automatically started speaking in a SAD WAY, even though I didn't feel sad. I spoke this way automatically because I needed to tell someone something and I didn't know how to, and if I spoke this way it would make it easier for them to hear me. Because when I speak in a sad way I manipulate the person. They can't feel angry at me. Cause I am sad, and that brings out emotions in them. I have faced people speaking in a sad way to me and that caused reactions in me. So this is PROOF that we manipulate people automatically, unconsciously. Was I aware that I was doing it? Only when I saw in the moment that yes I was speaking sad, and no I did not feel sad. I did not make a decision to now speak sad. It happened automatically. So theoretically I can see how we all as humanity are like this. We are all manipulating all the time without really being aware of it. Afterwards I had a good feeling. I felt good