Yogan's Journey to Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing emotion and feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing others to stay in emotions and feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abandon others to their illusions, delusions, and emotions/feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not try to help others walk out of their mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on helping others leave their lies, illusions, enslavement. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place any value above the individual freedom of each person, where I must help them to walk out of my mind, and where I have been valuing different things like my status, my reputation, my perception by others, my wealth, my anything. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think anything could matter more than helping someone walk out of their mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think there co...

I have someone who is dependable, reliable, is THERE, and it is freaking me out! Cause my systems are activating... What are these systems? What is happening within me? I am going into self-doubt 1. I am second guessing what comes up within me as what I would normally say to the person and share with the person. I am feeling a strange constant state of happiness for no apparent reason 2.. I see this is here because I believe/see I have this person here, they are always here, they are reliable, they are going no where, an its a FACT. So in my mind I'm reacting in this strange constant happiness. Another way to look at it, is that it should be normal and the norm for people to ALWAYS be there, to be so trustworthy, and reliable, and simply SHOW UP in the relationship... that its so normal its boring or not exceptional. And we can live normally. 3. I am getting quiet and reserved because of 1. where I am second-guessing myself, not trusting myself, because I am afraid of say...

Socializing is the weirdest thing. I am just reflecting here. Like today, I get home, I do some things.... I don't FEEL like socializing or reaching out to people. I don't FEEL like it. I am happy and content as is, and if I reach out to someone.... they might not reach out back... maybe they are busy..... maybe they just don't want to right now.... maybe they just don't want to talk to me, OH THE DREADED FEAR OF THAT!!!!! Fear of Rejection!!!! AHH!!!!! OHH!!!!! NO!!!!!! Anyway, So I'm reflecting here, its weird, why would I ever reach out to socialize??? Why bother??? I am happy. I am content..... with just me.... alone.... But, But I know something. But I know there were memories and times before in the past. I know that there are people I have a history with, a past with.But I'm forgetting it.... Its weird, why do I feel like NOT reaching out to people and socializing, when i come home from a day's work???? I can hear my mom complai...

--> So one prevalent point I have, especially on the weekends, is sleeping in. I am writing this in response to the forum thread, Only 4 -6 hours of Sleep Required? . So sleep and I have had an interesting history. I remember if there was like an emergency or great need to wake up like to head to the airport, I was able to wake like in a second though in a slight daze. I also used to before going to bed I would say I would sleep until a certain time in the morning and I would wake then. Thought of waking in morning, lol. The Heaven = Hell             So now in my current situation, I am a student studying who needs to be in charge of his study(and so sleep too!). I am writing separately a point on scheduling which will assist me in my setting my sleep pattern. So im going to just as a support see what excuses or reasons I have to go to bed early or to sleep in. Then I will establish a new pattern of sleep. ...