Yogan's Journey to Life

 So there's something that I have realized about when people go through trauma. The common response by people who go through trauma says that it changes them. And what I see is that one of the reasons why it changes them is because they are feeling certain things that they don't know how to stop. And this includes anger and blame. And the mere suggestion that people who go through traumatic events forgive their abuser, is already scoffed at, let alone the suggestion that they forgive themselves for the anger and hate/blame that they feel. I suppose it makes perfect sense in this humanity that we are today that we don't know how to go through an event like trauma, and be able to process it and revert back to how we were. Because if we did so then we would remain like children. We would be naive, we would be pure, and open hearted, and we would still believe crazy things like no one should be harm, and all life is precious, and all people are equal regardless of any differenc...

There is a choice between Life or Energy. You can't exist one and equal as Life, with and as this Existence/Everyone, and simultaneously be of Energy/Polarity/Emotions/Feelings/Mind-puppet. Just like how you cannot be simultaneoulsy a person who is living as the self-directive principle of their life, and be a Slave/Reactive-entity to others, where you can be triggered. In ANY MOMENT, you are EITHER one or the other, and its a CHOICE. In every moment there is only One Truth. Its not a matter of debate/opinion, and that itself is already a part of the illusion of the Mind and part of the Separation: THE IDEA OR BELIEF THAT REAL TRUTH DOESN"T EXIST, THAT OBJECTIVITY DOESN"T EXIST, THAT THERE IS A KNOWN, AN ABSOLUTE, A POINT THAT SIMPLY WHAT IS AND ANYTHING ELSE IS A LIE OR FALSE. I mean obviously part of the illusion and deception has at is ultimate goal is to somehow even make the TRUTH unknownable or to even HIDE or DOUBT its existence. I mean that is where you really F...

Standing in everyone's shoes would necessitate that all fear and anger end. Because how can you be angry at yourself? Or how can you possibly fear yourself? Doing so would be absurd. The statement: I stand as all as one and equal, is specific. Imagine a person saying that they stand as everyone: All the people across the world, all the people you know or have heard of or encountered and of all the countries, and places, and parts in the world. To stand absolutely with all that exists: there can only be one meaning or one interpretation. Standing as everyone challenges your own point of separation: it challenges your anger, and your fear and your judgment and blame. Because you will resist standing as someone who you judge, blame, fear, or feel anger which you direct at them. Standing as everyone would support peace, harmony, and simply being supportive, constructive, present, warm, and gracious. I am working with Fear and Anger when it comes to what I see on the News an...

Separation Anxiety There is someone I am separate from right now and its causing this separation anxiety. A commonly used word to describe this thing. Now, I immediately see it relates to me being a child, getting lost, separate from my mom in particular, and that fear of never seeing my mom again, and somehow being lost forever, whether that's due to being kidnapped, murdered, or dying accidentally while I am lost. I have had that moment as a kid where I am wandering in the supermarket and I try to find my mom, and have that thought and anxiety of never seeing her again, and then my heart starts racing, I start believing it, and I get scared and I start to frantically check all the aisles. Another was a memory at a carnival amusement park. Same thing. So this is something physical. Its in my body. I can feel it sitting here in my body as me as my body. These memories and these reactions are here in my body as me. The emotions, the energies, the experiences are sitting here as m...

The Earth, the air, the water, the land, the nature, the plant. Animals, the body, the muscles, organs, cells. Physical. To serve this physical reality. To serve this body. To live for the physical. Living as the physical. Living as the hands, arms, legs, toes, chest, breath, body. Moving, doing what is needed for the physical. Imagine people living as Physical. Imagine all physical needs taken care of. Imagine growth and expansion of the physical. Imagine the nurture, care of the physical. Imagine Living as the physical. Imagine living no more as mind. Imagine Living no more as what we think. Imagine all definitions we think, opinions we think DROP. Imagine Only Being Here, Physical. Imagine only the physical is here. Lets stop serving the mind, and instead use the Mind to serve the Physical. No more separation.

I have this fear within me of being alone within who I am, without. So I am afraid of being who I am, and being the only one like that in my environment, my without. Because I am reacting with fear, I want to react by changing to be like my environment. I want to fit in. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being alone within being the only one like me in my environment, my without. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change who I am to be like my environment, because I am afraid of being alone, as the only one like me in my without, my surroundings. When and as I see myself wanting to change who I am to be like my environment because I am afraid of being the only one like me - I stop and I breathe - I realize it is dishonest to change because I am afraid - I realize it is dishonest to be someone because I want to fit in - I realize I would still be afraid of not fitting in, even when I fit in - I realize that fitting in does not re...

So in a previous post I did forgiveness on my beliefs about women. In this blog I wanted to do a follow up. So, within rereading my blog post I have new insights. So, basically imagine one of those women groups or female groups that believe women are powerful, and believe women hold some special power, that there is something sacred about women, and that believe the world would be better if ran by women. Like some special female spiritual empowerment group thing. Imagine the above. Now, would you say that you want YOU to be let's say all these things: Powerful, DEEP, Strong, Compassionate, Caring, Insightful, Intelligent etc...   just because you were a women? Look at this point here. Would you want to BE anything JUST because you are a WOMAN???? If you look at this point in self-honesty you will see it is incredibly limiting and incredibly insulting to yourself and to everyone, including the female body, to think that WHO YOU ARE, what you LIVE, the words you are like...

When I had a partner I told her that I love her equally. We were talking about how come we loved each other, and I told her, "In truth I know that I could love anyone equally, meaning that it just happens to be you, but it could have been anyone." Suffice to say, NO ONE, in present times, would want to hear that. What do people want to hear, they want to hear how you are special, how you are so beautiful, so wonderful, so precious. My father even tried to teach me that. So this is no secret. But I didn't do that in that moment. For me, I tried not to add any energy to the relationship. I tried to maintain oneness and equality. Because relationships based on specialness or unequal love, is a lie. If you love anyone more than anyone else, that is a lie. Equal love is true love. Equal love is loving everyone equally. This isn't a grand statement. You don't try to increase the energy within you to feel love for everyone. You actually decrease the energy within you...

How Desires really work Desires are things you want, for example a desire for a romantic relationship with a partner; Link: The Desire for a Life-Long Partner Test. It seems that when you a desire you would surely get what you want, right? Let's self-reflect on this question shall we? Have I fulfilled my desires and how long have I had to do so? In my life, I have had the desire for having a partner, and I am 26 years old, and so I have had 26 years to fulfill this desire. What I have seen when it came to my mind and my desire, is that who I am and how I am, is not actually built in such a way so that I would attain this desire. For example, being afraid of not having a partner, which itself prevents me from being comfortable and confident which would in theory attract a partner. Yet my fear of not having a partner is a manipulation of myself to push myself to go after a partner. And so what ends up happening is that I end up thinking about a partner, and imagining what it w...

You have cows eyes. Would you want to be told this? It turns out that this was actually a compliment of beauty back in the day. Because if you ever see into the eyes of a real cow, it is one of the most beautiful things.  And back in the day, people were more connected to agriculture, and to cows and farms. For example, before the industrial revolution. about 90% of the population in United States worked on farms or agriculture. And today, less that 5% work on farms. So there has been a major shift. People now adays have lost the presence of nature in their everyday life, and they have distorted views of the natural world. For example, calling someone a cow, is considered an insult. So is calling someone a pig. This shows how lost and separate we are from these animals. Beauty itself has become distorted, where ugliness and beauty are tied to a creation that is outside of ourselves. Namely, the fashion industry, and beauty industry. We are told and shown what is beautif...

My living definition for enjoying doing some work/task/project is morality oriented, meaning if I think, believe, perceive that I am a good person for doing this work/task/project, I enjoy myself doing that project, and I do it willingly, and so relatively well.   Furthermore, whether I believe some task/work/project will indicate that I am good/bad, it will depend on what someone has said about that task/work/project, or has given sufficient information where in my mind I will construct that belief. It is like my mind is built to search out in the world and determine what are the good actions, and what are the bad actions, and to act what is good, and the method is what I describe, through seeing what is defined as good by what is already here in this world, including then the people that are alive in this moment. Can I honestly trust anyone to be able to give me the information on what to do? No. Because of the condition of the world right now, and h...

So im going to make this blog about reviewing over a helpful thing that I do to support me to stand and direct myself to not fall into the mind, in moments such as video game playing and porn viewing in moments where it is not appropriate. So just to say it, I bring myself to the physical. To be frank, I rediscovered this point within masturbation. I say rediscovered because I have applied this point before but I had stopped, mainly out of fear of this point that it may have been fake or untrustworthy. So it was the mind convincing me that something that was supporting me was actually bad or harming me. So just to talk about the point of masturbation a bit, to make it an little of an introduction, I have been practicing masturbation as a point of being here with my body and directing and moving myself without image or thoughts. So when I do this the objective is to not be thinking of any man, women, any sexual, nothing. So totally no thought. So what I would sometim...