Yogan's Journey to Life

 So in a way continuing from my last blog, except looking at it from a view of placing expectations on myself. So my parents places expectations on me as becoming a great spiritual teacher. The way they would treat me and talk with me, telling me directly about my great insights, and how in my astrology chart I was meant to uplift people spiritual and be a great teacher for humanity. My name Yogan was from a story book that was new agey about a guy sent to earth to do just that. So I accepted this narrative. Just like how we all accept and allow all that the mind has told us and said what we are, and also similarly what others tell us too, which the mind just repeats to us doesn't it.  Acceptance and allowance is what we all do aint it the truth? So preprogramming or not, as a child with the platform to speak and to observe, its very obvious the things people are going through. And since I was encourage to find the truth and to help others, that is what I did. Anyway could do ...

I made a VLOG expanding on this topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECSasrCeXPc I heard a very interesting remark from a person and it led me to realize a few things. One thing is how we may approach a conversation or a moment of SHARING with a person and we may be approaching it within an agenda of being Persuasive and being Convincing. I can see in myself the pressure to be Persuasive ever since I was told by someone that I should be more persuasive when I speak. I was told this in a work context by a superior. And I remember it being quite odd/significant. There is something pure/real when we or any person simply shares directly what they see and how they see it without trying at all to convince you. And I have gone through a time in the World System as the Job market and Money system in Trying to be liked, and persuasive in order to sell things, and to in a way convince others to make peace or to be better. I can see in myself this pressure to speak in such a way where...

There are some people who I interacted with briefly and they went ahead and made some choices where in my mind I am thinking it was because of me, I caused this. I never really let it go. I blamed myself. I know that its not my fault. So its time to do some SF. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take responsibility for other's selves. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to be responsible for who someone is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can be responsible for who someone is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be responsible for the self of another person. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself try to take ownership of another person's self, the who they are.... I cannot, its impossible... I can only take responsibility for my self. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself blame myself for what another person does or decided to be. I forgive myself fo...

Realigning Guilt. SO what is interesting that I have observed today is how when I feel guilty, I enter into it completely without question. This means that I feel guilty, and accept the experience, when I do not even know whether I did something or I am doing something that I am feeling guilty for. It is like that when i feel guilty I already accept and believe that I did do that thing, even though I don't know for sure with confidence that I did. So guilt is misaligned within me. With all honesty I can see that I don't know whether I did this thing that I feel guilty for. Yet I feel guilty all the same and I believe and act like I did do this thing. Why is this? This is the result of trusting my feeling and following my intuition as a feeling, as a trust for my feeling to have some knowledge or access or awareness outside and above/greater than what is here available to my awareness. Like with tarot card readings, higher guides, psychics, divine beings, spiritually conne...