Yogan's Journey to Life

Time to Recreate myself again. I see now that I have been developing and participating a desire to have someone else like me around. Someone that I can talk to in depth and detail about the mind, about all the details. all the dimensions, all the aspects and observations as if it was a fascinating scientific pursuit or study. To be able to share and make cross-referencing with that person regarding any and all dimensions of the mind/body and our experience. To discuss the techniques and methods used, as well as describe the mind system, treating them as universal things to study/catalogue and so share and discuss as something mutual and applicable to all of us. SO I was developing that desire. And desire means energy. Desire are system. All desires are system as long as they operate within energy. Its possible to make a decision about what you want or go after it, all without energy within it or behind it. That is not what I was doing in this case. I had a life long desire, that sp...

I grew up in a household where God is Love. I do believe that for every single person, we have that point that is our absolute potential of who we can be and thus what we would do (because doing flows from who you are). And that potential is god-like, divine, because you are an amazing fucking person. Strong, Courageous, fearless, Expressive, Fun, Creative, Giving, Committed, Impassioned, you Know who you are, Disciplined, Understanding others and your Role, Owning up to your Responsibility, Deep, Flexible, Saying/Doing exactly what is needed, Owning up to your issues, weaknesses, Patience with yourself and others, Diligent, Consistent, Forgiving of yourself and others, honoring your relationships, honoring yourself,  taking the initiative, taking the first step, trying and failing, trying and succeeding, Living. And more. That is all of our potential: every single one of us. How we may live these words may be unique, and has its own flavors: yet here the words are and they are a...

This Blog is Almost like a Thought Experiment. It is Reflective, and you need to Read it all the way through because my Perspective Changes in real time. So make sure to read it all the way through, I end somewhere differently than where I started out in the beginning.  There is me as Yogan as my story as an individual... There is also me that is not Yogan, that takes on a grander perspective, grander vision, that includes many more perspectives at once, and strives for what is best for each perspective. When I live in this way of living from multiple perspectives or many perspectives... I become something different, I see things differently, I respond to situations differently. It is a point of greater understanding. Understanding more perspective on any given situation or moment. It is a point of living outside of my previous conceptions of my self of who I am, of Yogan. It is a point of just having a body and just relying on that fact that I am anchored here in r...

I am looking at the word Friend today. And with looking at this word I am reminded of one of my very old friends, the Trees. There have been times in my life where I didn't have any human friends, actually for many long periods of my life. But the trees were a old reliable friend. There is a book called the Giving Tree. It helped me see that Trees are alive and that they give themselves as how they describe in the book. And I remember my mom telling me to stop hitting a tree with a stick, and how it feels pain. Trees do bleed sap. I remember I would draw trees as a kid There were specific trees that I would go visit. Some when I especially was sad and lonely. Resting my head against the one branch of this one tree. I would look at a tree and I could see all its splendor. I could hear in my head the voices the trees and plants would make, or at least I would imagine it. How I would say hello silently within myself to them, and I would hear right away how they say hi back al...

A moment where my attention got zoomed in focus on something/someone. Here the mind is activating. It is clearly the mind. Thoughts started to stream: maybe they are doing some activity, maybe they are secretly angry at me. Maybe they are doing something intentional and its direct at me! I don't want to see this! I also can't help but look! It has caught my attention, i am looking at it. So I had obviously shifted into something. I had a thought/opinion about the situation about what to expect and about the scenarios that could be happening. I was emotional already. It felt real and it caught my attention. I notice this aspect of having my attention caught is a red flag for the mind. My attention was shifted. It became zoomed in and focus on this thing that was happening. I didn't want to look away, I wanted to pursue and look at it more, and at the same time I didn't want to look at it, but I couldn't move on. So all of this is obviously the mind, its cle...

Update since Blog post Adrenaline: https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2018/11/day-69-adrenaline.html So since I have been walking the point of Adrenaline as described in my blog, well here's an update. I have been paying attention to my physical heart, and when and in what moments I react so that adrenaline or my blood pressure kicks it up, and so I feel my heart pounding. So I have been purposefully being calm and relax in my time where I don't have to be running around. One of the greatest luxuries in life is being able to just take your time walking somewhere, to just enjoy the view, enjoy the moment, going slow. This requires time. Also, by paying attention to my heart, this has helped me in conversations where I can remain calm, and more stable and not react within conversation topics. At the same time, when I do talk, I see I'm much more effective, and pay much more attention to what was just said, and able to bring through my point, as how I see it, clea...

The book called the Little Prince... I learned that love is simple. Its simple because I did it as a child. Very simple. I loved my toys. I loved my toys because I spent time with them, I paid attention to them, I interacted with them, I was here with them. I spent TIME with them, I had MOMENTS with them, as memories of experiences. I can remember them and recall them, and I cared for them. When I lost them, I was distraught. I missed them. I can remember them with fondness, with love in me. Only the children know what they are looking for," said the little prince. "They waste their time over a rag doll and it becomes very important to them; and if anybody takes it away from them, they cry..."   "They are lucky," the switchman said"       I'm very sure I understand what love is now. While reading this book, I'm pretty sure I can see it. I see it my past. I can see the moments and the people with who I actually loved and those who ...

What you feel about something doesn't matter. What you feel about yourself... is not real. What I feel about myself... is not real. What you feel about trees, cars, dogs, people, doesn't matter. What you feel about things, is not real. What is real are the actual physical things that are here, that are in front of you, that you see, hear, touch, smell. That is real. What you feel about what is real, isn't real. It's like we are confused inside ourselves, where we believe that what we feel and react to and about what is real, makes what we feel and our reactions, real. It doesn't. What you feel about something is simply what you feel about something. It has no reality to it. It is simply reacting to what is here/real. How you feel about things, doesn't matter. How you feel about things, won't determine or become an action or solution. It is not part of the solution. How you feel about the solution, doesn't make it more of a solution. Taking t...

SO one of the hardest points for me to get over is trying to convince people of things which I know is true. Like the point of oneness and equality. The strange thing is, when I heard the point the first time, I knew it was a true description of how things worked. It explained so much to me, even in a way how everything works. I also remember how by the fact people become nasty when hearing this message, it already invalidated them, and at the same time demonstrated how the message is true. Because the truth that you are one and equal to what you accept and allow, is for some strange reason judged as bad by the mind. I don’t get it, and I can’t explain why the mind would do that. The mind perhaps perceives it may die, by why ignore the truth that this is how you really live.   The mind itself seems completely invalid and unnecessary. Its like an extra layer of bureaucracy, just a waste of time and money. You never accomplish what you REALLY wanted to accomplis...

Laziness. Where have i accepted and allowed laziness to manifest? its funny, laziness does not have to be inactivity. Being here could be an "inactivity" for a moment and breathing while i sit for example. Though its not inactive. In looking for laziness, its in those moments of walking to the cafeteria to eat where i am lazy in that i do not walk in equality with the physical. Being unaware of yourself is laziness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be here and walk with the physical while walking somewhere. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be here when sitting while on the computer.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be here when using words in speech or in writing. I commit myself to be here with the entire physical body, including the hands, feet, legs, pelvic area, belly, back, shoulder, neck, chest, arm pits, face, top of the head, back of the head, belly button, the inner organs, the b...