Yogan's Journey to Life

I remember the Joy I felt in my first relationship. It was pure happiness. I was purely innocent. Naively happy. Believing they are the one, and I will marry  them and we will live happily ever after. The expression of being innocent and joy, these are hidden here in plain sight. This kind of joy there is something real to it. The separation is the fact that I only tied it to this one person and to this relationship. So that when they fall away and pursued other people, that my joy and innocence went with them, or so it seems. Really it is right here in me. Living this kind of joy and innocence with everyone is a real thing. It can become a living word that I choose to live on command. Except now I learned about what it would take to set up a relationship with someone for real now. Because initially I wanted to be with anyone I could. I just wanted to be in a relationship with SOMEONE. This is not right, and this is not real. It is a recipe for disaster. The kind of sadness...

With certainty, everyone single one of us were once pure and innocent. This was at birth. We didn't have the personalities we live daily today. We didn't have a stressed personality, or depressed personality. We weren't running around trying to accomplish the work of the day in stress, or laying on the couch within depression. None of the emotions we participate daily existed at birth. At birth we just felt our bodies, we just existed. We just looked around, expressed ourselves through gurgling sounds. We moved and touched. So, our personalities were developed and created. They also didn't magically appeared as they are today in the version we have them right now. They evolved, they developed, they grew. They were built through moments of participation. So right now, we are alive and we have our personalities. And with equal certainty, just as you were born pure, I know that you will die. What I don't know is who you will be when you die. I can't say you will ...

Where does violence come from? How is violence created? When I had acted violently, it was either in a blackout, which means I wasn't aware of what I was doing,  or it was in awareness where I felt angry, pumped, energetic, rage, and I made sweeping movements and gestures that were not precise or exact but done to make a point or statement that I am not to be messed with. So it seems fair to say that violence is based within what you have thought and felt beforehand for a long period of time, because it both cases I was provoked by certain individuals over a long period of time of months or years. The exception to this rule is when violence is made purposefully, with cold calculation and precision. I haven't done this, myself, so I can't speak from my own experience, however when it is a very well known fact that soldiers that come back from war, who have killed people, are traumatized. They have deep emotional experiences, thoughts, and vivid memories that revisit them. ...

Here is a fact: take the most badass, meanest, toughest, scruffiest, harsh person on the planet. A person so harsh and violent that they would kill a child or baby just for fun. You take that person, and realize this simple truth, when they were born they were just a baby, and they were innocent and pure. This is true for all of us. This is true for the strongest of us, the smartest of us, the dumbest, the most "evil" and most "good." We were born equally in this way/regard. It is true though however, that we are not born the same. Some are born with mental or physical handicaps. Some are born with diseases. And our genetics do have an influence on us in some very unimportant superficial ways, and in some more consequential visible ways. Yet we are all still born innocent and pure. The concepts or character of being a badass, mean, tough, scruffy, or harsh doesn't exist in anyway whatsoever, at least apparently so. Any person that will murder, will be ...