Yogan's Journey to Life

So I was asked the question: can I embrace the worst part of myself? This wasn't the first time I consider such things as EMBRACE myself, embracing myself, and the evil, dark sides of me. So a practical example of the dark side of me. Not so long ago, maybe 1-2 weeks I was irritated, tired, and started to say some underhanded NASTY things about someone to someone. This is the worst part of me, at least in the Now times, or times of Today. So that's the practical example.... Now here I have something NEW to share.  So the OLD is that I have done self-forgiveness many times, and taken self-responsibility and I would totally do that with this situation. But the NEW here is this approach which is like a Living Word of Embrace....    Its a warm hug or embrace of me. The perfect Image to describe this i me running up to hug ME, and I look today and that is me as a kid, or just me but shorter. But you know when a kid runs up to you and hugs you and looks straight ...

So oddly enough the topic of My Sad Story (in the past) and Creating My future are inherently linked, cause if I stay in my sad story I cannot create my future or any future. Cause being stuck in past.... can't create anything new... My sad story is about where I came from, all the people that wronged me, everything bad that happened to me, how I need pity and help... I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the sad story within me, and live within the past. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself the responsibility and the access to what is here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise my future and creating my future by being stuck within a retelling of my sad story and reliving it over and over again. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stay stuck within sadness and blame towards others in my past. I realize the past is gone, it has passed. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself t...

When I was in the first year of highschool, towards the end, my mom had visited an astrologer to see about what would be best for me. She went on some day magical, like 5/5/05 which both her and I took as a sign of the value of the following, that I should change schools to a Jesuit College Preparatory school. When I heard the news, I thought it was like divine plan. I felt sad inside because there was this girl I liked and known for a couple years that went to the school I was in. I had however in my desperato fashion, saw leaving as good and necessary and I made a positive or unemotional façade about leaving. Her and I had not been talking in a while, and all of a sudden in our English class she hugged me while we were standing. I did not hugged her back thinking to myself I can’t hug her or I would cry. I very much lived in a life of emotions. I never wanted to appear or look emotional so is my pattern of mind. I wanted to be courageous, not fearful, ever. I ...