Yogan's Journey to Life

 Something I have is an effective ability to read others. What I notice is 2 categories of people. 1) obvious and 2) hidden. Being obvious is when a person is saying whats on their mind, and acting with whatever their mind tells them to do.  Being hidden, is suppressing the mind, and instead showing another image to others. The mind will eventually spill out. And the degree or skill of suppression varies. Some are experts at it, usually out of necessity for work or daily life. Since every person is born an innocent child, for a person to develop a mind conscious system that is so disharmonious with the needs of everyday life, they must have gone through an abnormal and abusive living situation as a child. Picture bullying, being beaten up, raped as a child, or any other horrible, painful, treatment by others: adult, other children, teachers etc...  The mind develops under these conditions. Naturally one such conditioning is anger or rage. Because to protect ones body or s...

Today I learned that I have been feeling depression as Cynicism and Pessimism that the a world that is best for all won't happen. I felt this way as a reaction to seeing people give up, argue for their limitations, not willing to change, look at a point, or learn from it. It came from seeing people talking about money, and the natural world like its a dead thing. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel depression when seeing people talk about the nature as a dead thing and talk about how important money is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel depression when I see people argue for their limitations and refuse to investigate themselves further. I also feel this way when people tell me how a world that is best for all is not possible. I also feel angry as I try to tell them why it is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel depressed when people tell me that a world that is best for all is not possible. I forgiv...

Posting something I shouldn’t have. Writing something I shouldn’t have. Causing harm through writing something self-dishonestly and publishing it. Doing harm. Doing wrong. Wronging myself. Harming myself. Being evil. I am Evil Character/Self-pity Character “I am evil” and I feel self-pity, a “OH NO!” “I can’t be EVIL, I just can’t.” I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think adamantly I posted something I shouldn’t have. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think adamantly I wrote something I shouldn’t have. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think adamantly I am causing harm through writing something self-dishonestly, and publishing it. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think adamantly I am doing harm. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think adamantly I am doing wrong I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think adamantly I am wronging mys...

I have an ego. I judge and compare myself automatically with others. I even judge on how I do self-forgiveness. I judge having more longer or complex self-forgiveness as better. I feel validated when I write longer and more complex self-forgiveness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an ego. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself automatically with others. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge how I do self-forgiveness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge that self-forgiveness that is longer more or more complex is better than a shorter or more simpler self-forgiveness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to write longer and more complex self-forgiveness, in order to feel validated. When and as I see myself feeling validated when writing a long and complex in structure self-forgiveness- I realize that doing something that is more challenging, that takes more time and...

I am writing now, even though I feel tired, and I had a long day. I will be waking up early tomorrow, but I wanted to spend at least 15min writing. So if I do some self-introspection. One thing that was interesting for me was how I had reacted with a smile and a sort of warmth in my heart sort of feeling when my aunt was saying how my cousin loved me. For me I notice one prominent thing I reacted to was the sound of my aunt’s voice, which was high pitched. I can imagine if it were low pitched that it would have much less of an effect, at least that it was it would appear to me when I take on this possible moment. I also notice that if I were to imagine it to be a guy, like if my aunt was a guy, that I would react more if she/he would speak in a deeper voice. Like if he.she would be speaking slowly, but confidently or dramatic. So I would to summarize this as reacting to my own learned associations to some sets of voices and sounds, like male and females, and high an...

So enthusiasm is a limitation because its starting point is separation, that a person must first become enthused on order to do something, and if they are not enthused than they will not do such thing correctly or precisely. Enthusiasm is thus a limitation, because a person an instead directly do/act/say the thing without needing to be enthused. The same can be said with motivation. So anything that becomes a layer or conditioned that must be satisfied for you to move/act becomes a limitation, because its not necessary. If it is necessary like checking with yourself before acting, or assessing the situation first, realize that this is also an act/doing, so its equal and one to you moving you. Its not an energy layer. If its an energy layer you will notice it is not practical, and draws/sucks your resources or attention. It can be like a blindfold or veil covering what is here directly in front of you. Sometimes you can check with yourself and ask Am I here? Then you ...