Yogan's Journey to Life

So I'm starting a Journey of letting go of my past. There are several dimensions to this, as it is a broad thing, the Past. One dimension I am tackling now is simply all my relationships to every person, including my mother, brother, essentially every damn person. Because something I have been doing is keeping a history of our relationship in my mind, something VERY SIMILAR to how the game Sims works. In Sims you can form relationships with people and gain points, as well as milestone moments, good and bad. Essentially there is a relationship HISTORY programmed in the game. So as you get your sims to make relationship with people it keeps track of things. See here INHERENTLY is the problem when it comes to real life. At the same time though it is a VERY GOOD simulation of how we are operating in our relationships. So its a good copy cat of how we behave actually, which also means its a bad way to actually live. We are not living in our relationships in a very good way. The prob...

Something I had done which was a mistake was to write out what my perfect/ideal partner would be. I didn't realize it at the time that I was making a mistake, and supporting separation between me and other people I meet. To understand why, let me explain. When we meet people it is like a seed is there, we don't know where it will grow, move or bend. It is unknown. We just met the person. So why would we put all of our ideas, thoughts, projections on what it COULD BE, or SHOULD BE, or what you WANT IT TO BE. Why not just be here and See what is here, be here in the moment, make sure you stick to your process, your principles, integrity, and being your best self. And from that, by doing this, something may eventually, through time and participation in moments of being here like this with a person..... something may emerge. And it is there that it is real. It is there and its real because its a process that was walk with being here with the person, sticking to who ...

What to do when you need love? Understand that love is an energy. Because anything you need, is not something that is your expression. Energy is something that fluctuates that rise and falls. Energy is part of the need. This is the nature of energy. This is fact. Its not something you can wish or imagine to be different and it will change reality. You cannot say that energy is something stable, consistent, reliable and causes no need, no lack, no rise and no fall. I mean I can write out the sentence that it is a certain way, but it would be a lie, like an imagination. Here I am a scientist, I am relying on empirical information, I am relying on observations, investigations, and questionings that I have done for a long time now, 8 years, along with a group of people, desteni, who as individuals walk their processes and share online, and thereby providing more points for me to look at and consider. Without a doubt energy is not stable. And without a doubt the physical is stable. If y...

So I have an observation to share today. I did work on an emotional reaction today that came up due to unique, unpredicted moment. I felt panic and it was in relation to scarcity of something I needed. Context is like you need something to do your work but they don't have enough for everybody and by chance you don't get it. And there is nothing you can "do" really to protest it. So you have to make due with the hand you were dealt. Its a really unique emotional signature and I remember it existing way back when I was in another situation that had to do with scarcity of something I needed and them not having enough. Back then it had to do with school lockers and I got stuck with one that was so far away from my classes that I had to run/rush to get to it, and I for a while couldn't find a single locker, and that was the very last one left in the school. This feeling has a very unique signature. Anyway, so I did self-forgiveness, but it wasn't enough really. I...