Yogan's Journey to Life

Today, I woke up. I went to Ikea with my mom. We ate breakfast there. She bought some things. We came back home. I saw my dad a bit. I watched a hunger games movie with my sister. So when I was in the Ikea store, I saw this blond haired girl. She was with her family shopping. I felt a reaction. I felt nervous. I looked away, I avoided eye contact with her. And as she turned in another direction, I felt more comfortable: at peace, to now look. I saw she had black-rimmed glasses. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous when seeing the blond haired girl. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid eye contact with this girl. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous when I was in a position where I could look in her eyes and she could look back.   I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel comfortable when I was in a position to look at this girl without her being able t...

--> Oct 1 2012 I saw X, I slowed down to say hi. ( I saw she was looking away and I thought she might be embarrassed) I was watching her eyes as I was telling her: How are you? She responded, good you? (I did not consider she was simply expressing herself) I kept walking, I thought then, imagined, I had told her: I was sitting outside if you wanted to join me. (I had imagined she would like to sit with me) I then reacted in fear, and told myself no, im going to go sit outside like I planned. I went to the spot I had told myself I was going to sit. I thought there would be too many people walking by that it would be awkward. (I thought she would see me sitting close by yet I separated myself fro everyone else) I also thought it would be not sunny, so not cool. I started then heading somewhere there was sun, outside. I had then imagined if I had asked X out, to which I reacted positively (I imagined she would have said yes to me). But I see this point is just in my mind...