Yogan's Journey to Life

 I have been working on the Positive/Negative Energies, surrounding Optimism and rose colored glasses. I suspect the following: that my lazy eye is due to the preprogramming of viewing the world and everything through extreme optimism and hope, as they say viewing the world through rose colored glasses. I used an astrology website https://www.zodiacsign.com/ to see the levels of preprogramming that exists within me. This lead me to the term of rose colored glasses, as it had indicated that as a weakness. And when I looked at my entire life, I indeed have viewed the world that way.  In my teenage years, I would delve into memories like a drug, and I would delve into Love as a drug. The first time I ever saw porn was around 13 years old. And when I looked at the kind of dreams I had as a child, I was preprogrammed to chase love. When I looked at my previous post on Love, it ties with sex is true. It drives the birthing of children. All done within a possessed state. All done wit...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to procreate I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing to compromise who I am, my integrity and principles for a wife/woman partner I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing to suppress myself, my voice, the voice of what is best for all, to hide anything that can be judged as aggressive or distasteful in my words, in my blog and vlogs, in order to appease what I believe women would want. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to conform to this idea of what I think a woman wants: a man who is masculine but not threatening, intelligent but not condescending, strong but not aggressive, is interested in the woman but not intrusive, is attracted to the woman's appearance but is not shallow, is soft, gentle and kind, but not feminine, is submissive to the woman, but still confident. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe it cou...

Competing with men for the favor of women... in other words competing with men for getting with a particular woman of interest. You know, relationshippy stuff. I am seeing a dimension of this. Seeing how I do smile subconsciously in hearing how a guy was having difficulty in his life. I smiled caused I saw him as a competitor for getting with a woman. I mean it seems very primal and very obvious like why it is and where its from. So I can see how in my mind how the thoughts move to the line of thinking about paying attention to him and him getting in favor with some female. Like I know when I am paying close attention to something that this happening in front of me--- its like a heightened awareness and zoomed on focus on them... are they hitting it off? I can feel like others guys know what I am talking about, and women too... like in those moments your mind can't help to go to seeing or thinking whether there's a connection going on between two people, and how you may b...

 Okay Im going to be laying out a System Design of mine, so read carefully. When I was 18, I already developed this system of Love where I can access that energy of Love whenever I wanted. It would be brought here literally in a moment. This speed and easy signifies that it was pre-programmed in my nature/design and that I practiced/accessed it heavily, across my life which I did. So the extent of this system is in the facts that I would spend a few moments/hours/days with a girl my age and then "fall in love" with her, which meant that 18 I said to these ladies that I will always love you, I love spending time with you, I will always be there for you, and its not only what I said, it was my presence. I oozed love at them. They knew that I loved them, even though I only met them, spent very little time with them. So in this way I initiated all of my relationships. I was the one who created the point. I manifested the relationship, even though at times it was the ladies who ...

I remember the Joy I felt in my first relationship. It was pure happiness. I was purely innocent. Naively happy. Believing they are the one, and I will marry  them and we will live happily ever after. The expression of being innocent and joy, these are hidden here in plain sight. This kind of joy there is something real to it. The separation is the fact that I only tied it to this one person and to this relationship. So that when they fall away and pursued other people, that my joy and innocence went with them, or so it seems. Really it is right here in me. Living this kind of joy and innocence with everyone is a real thing. It can become a living word that I choose to live on command. Except now I learned about what it would take to set up a relationship with someone for real now. Because initially I wanted to be with anyone I could. I just wanted to be in a relationship with SOMEONE. This is not right, and this is not real. It is a recipe for disaster. The kind of sadness...

There is a responsibility for those that have access to life experience to share it. If you have experience, knowledge or training that protects you from harm, you have a responsibility to share that with those who don't have it, so that they are protected. If you see someone who is naive, and lacking the knowledge, you have the responsibility to support them to learn so as to protect themselves. IF you have knowledge or training that helps you to do something faster or better, you have the responsibility to share what you know with those who don't know so that they can do something faster or better. Otherwise, they won't know and they maybe will learn after making many mistakes, maybe. So if they harm themselves because they didn't know, it is your fault/responsibility for not sharing the information. If they choose to not listen or apply the information, you have the responsibility to insist, and even to protect them from themselves. If you allow them to harm themsel...

The following is a self-reflective and mental exercise to test yourself with to see whether you have a desire for a life-long partner. Imagine yourself, or place yourself here; all of who you are, bring it here. Now, imagine the world and everyone in it. Now pretend or imagine that the people you desire for relationship: male, female (gay, straight etc…) do not exist. That only the people that you don’t desire for a relationship exist. Reflect on how you feel, how you would act and behave, who you would be, what you would do. See if there are any differences.   Any differences that exist between who you are now and who you would be is evidence or proof that you have changed who you are as a person just so you can have a relationship. If you have a desire for a life-long partner, then you would have changed everything of yourself so that you can get what you want. So you can look at how you talk, how you walk, how you make your appearance, what you like or dislike, your o...

So you may recall some of my blogs from October or November were on creating relationships. So I'm continuing on that point. So today, I will be looking at free choice, and how there really isn't any. So, if creating relationships were a game, then there really is one set of actions that will produce the exact result you're after. There might be several actions, but they are certainly limited, and they are in a way fixed and predetermined. So all I have to do is find out what these actions are. So that's the essence of what I understand, having no choice within this, means. So this process of creating relationships is more a process of discovery than anything else. I will be discovering what it is exactly that I need to do, which can come from many sources, such as research, making mistakes in real time, and reflecting on past interactions/memories.  This is something completely new. I can't recall anywhere in my life where I have approached something like ...