Yogan's Journey to Life

Link, 1st blog on topic : https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/01/day-690-about-being-alone-as-trauma.html 1st Addendum: https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/01/day-691-update-and-addendum-to.html So today is the second Addendum. I have had several different points come up in the last few day and half that would add up and be part of this original mind system of Trauma of Being Alone. The first was a more sexual one. Where I have had a problem within masturbation where a certain line of thought would come up of: "you don't know what you are doing!" so what I did this morning was look at this line of thought within the context of the Trauma of Being Alone, and what I have opened up recently. So within that it became clear that I was digging into my Past Relationship and sexual encounters. One of my past partners said to me "Yogan, you don't know what you are doing, you have good intent, but you don't know who you are."  So I started...

Being Alone There is a system within me that 5 parts to it. Each part relates to this Trauma of being Alone growing up, being alone as who I am, being alone as my story, being alone as my past, the physical behaviors and ways I act out due to this Trauma of being alone. The 5 parts of the system are: 1.      Feeling/Thinking my life is meaningless and purposeless. This is very well captured by the end of the Bohemian Rhapsody song “Nothing really matters, anyone can see, nothing really matters, nothing really matters to meee…. Any way the wind blows….” These have been constant and consistent backchats in my recent days going back to several years. Where I would try to stop it and stand up from it, though never really ending it or changing it. But I did use this as a starting point to write out my purpose to become a data scientist and use that money to create my life and support the life of others. So I didn’t let it stop me, I worked with it however w...