Yogan's Journey to Life

Creating a Relationship of LOVE.....  in order to get the SEX. Making a relationship with another human being on the premise of LOVE.... so that I can get to have Sex with them regularly. Convincing them that I love them and want a long term relationship with them...... so that I can have sex with them as the Reason why. The reason why I create a relationship with a person and tell its for Love, and that I love them.... is to make them agree to sex. I speak loving words to a person, and make them feel like I love them, because I want to have that physical sex, because sex feels meaningful, and it gives my life meaning. The truth of Sex is that it is meaningless entertainment. Sex has no meaning. Sex is meaningless. There is no meaning in sex. Sex is only temporary entertainment. Sex does not deepen a bond between person. Sex does not make one reach higher planes of consciousness. Sex does not make a relationship stronger or work. Sex does not bring two people together....

Being a Loner, a Lone Wolf, I should be able to be ALONE, not need anyone. I should be able to exist within ANYONE. That is where I should go, develop and be... All of the above is a LIE... Its a lie. The true way of living is the a mix of independence and dependence. Even more so, hold dear and deep to my heart those that bring out the best in me, those who bring me the most joy, the most expression, the most creativity, the most love, the most fun. And hold them to my heart, remember them, call them, talk to them, keep them in my EVERYDAY Life. Even though they are not physically present. I can't hold them or hug them. They are very far away. But they are more real to me, and bring out the best in me. No fact can change that fact. Except me. Just me that can take that away. Just me that won't fight for it. And I have to fight for it. Its not automatic or natural. But if I fight for it, I get it, and it is better than anything. It is real. I have to fight b...

Reality, Truth, Honesty. Such words have been tainted, corrupted, spit on, that any semblance of their substance seems far too distant to sight. In our mentally created reality of the mind, existing within polarities of good and bad, we have become accustomed to a perception that reality is ambiguous, murky, untrustworthy, rampant with corrupted individuals who at their very core can never be trusted, that everything is arguable and the only predictable thing is pure chaos in daily life. The possibility that truth can exist, that an objective way to live can exist would just appear as another trick that someone plays to gain favor over you. In a world of Opinion, Belief and Thought, where view points are what is rampant, that nothing is certain, its like a chaotic soil that never settles and constantly mixed about. Life cannot grow from the soil. Seeing clearly how reality exists and operates, seeing it for what it is, not letting anything like opinion cloud your sight, anythin...

Confidence is a word I used in my last blog and I want to expand on it. Here is an example of the context:  When someone you know tells you very confidently that things are really bad and there is no way you can succeed in something. Now, I am saying it like how they say it: "Look there is NO WAY that you can do this, its impossible!!!  This is just how the world works."  What do you feel in such moments in hearing such statements? For me, there is a reaction, I feel something. I feel they are right. I want to give in, and I want them to be right. Here is the context I am referring when we speak in Confidence. Now we say we, but is it us? The mind is primary force in the world. So when people speak in confidence it can be used to manipulate other people. To Fight for your point of view. The same when we speak in anger in order to get someone to agree with us. Anger is a little bit different. For example: "If you don't do this right now, I am never going to be...

Fear of Being Alone. We do a lot in the name of NOT being Alone. I have done a lot. How much? I went into years of depression because I had people in my life. I had the attention, the love, the admiration, the worship, celebration, care. I felt needed and wanted, I felt I belonged. I felt like this is who I am, I found myself, this where I am supposed to be and do. All of this that I felt and thought was a lie. Because these feelings are lies. These thoughts are lies. This positivity, this bliss, this pleasure is a lie. How can feeling good be a lie? I was part of some people's everyday life. I got to know them. They would smile at me, and I would make them happy. When I would make they happy, laugh and have fun, I felt amazing. I felt complete, I felt great, I felt wonderful and bliss. This is all I ever wanted to do forever. Just make them happy. I wanted to keep them in my life, and I wanted them to keep me in their lives. I wanted to own them and be owned. I wanted...

Fairness, what is it? It is certainly a word. It certainly has a definition. Based on how the word is used, the word fair is often used to express an emotional protest to something, often in the contest of another receiving something more than you. Hence the phrase: "That's not fair!!!" What is interesting is that the word equal can be used, instead of fair, and equal does not have an emotional meaning. What is equal is equal. So you can say that those people and myself are not equally receiving the same thing. Naturally, anyone who is quite stable and seeing things rationally would ask why? Why is this person receiving more than me? The answer will depend on the actual practical physical context. Maybe its a game, where the winner receives a prize. So they receive the prize cause they win. It can be grades (or marks ) where a person receives a higher grade (or mark) if they answered more questions correctly. It can be many answers. What is interesting is that when ...

Every computer program has a source code. The source code is the instructions and building blocks of the computer program. A computer program (including its source code) that is open-source means that anyone can freely use it, so everyone is like the owner of it. The advantages of open-source include that no one can keep the source code secret, hidden or sell the code. This can be particularly useful to prevent manipulation or lying, since the source code is openly exposed. For example, when people vote using computers, the votes can be manipulated. One way to check for manipulation is to look at the source code. If the source code is private then you can be denied permission to see the source code. However if the source code is open source, then any person at any time anywhere is able to check the source code to look for any manipulation of the votes. Not only that, but people can actually contribute to make the code cleaner, organized, faster and simpler. For example, if you ha...