Yogan's Journey to Life

When I had my First Friend, I was around 7 years old. I remember that being the first time that its like I decided, or knew that this person here is my Friend. This was the first time, and it was very clear and strong that I felt this way and became this way. So this programming was here and established. And it was very specific, because I went over his house for one day and that is where I decided that point. And so after that day I never saw him again. Because my mom told me that he had moved away to the UK. It was sudden. The news was sudden. And I never said goodbye or saw him again. I was shocked and surprised. Devastated really. And it became a point of where I was right at the point of where I could express myself with a Friend, and have all of those expressions and points come through and it was all just immediately shut down and taken away from me. It was like losing my Friend and being powerless about it. I didn't have any say about it. I couldn't stop it. It...

This morning I found out something about the mind.... a memory from when I was told "Yogan, listen to me you don't know what you are doing" OMG I can't believe this...You are so weird and different. So I did self-forgiveness on this moment/memory and the reactions... and I had a peace within me. A quietness. The reaction that was haunting me was held together by LOVE. I loved my friend, and he was the one that told me these words. So because of Love I listened to him and believed him. Because of love I validated his opinions and beliefs about me. And it stayed with me. Love is unnecessary. I realize that. Because you can hug a person, you can talk to a person, you can do anything with a person, and you don't need LOVE to enjoy them. Love is fear. Fear is love. Test it out yourself, when you love someone, will you take in whatever they say about you? Don't you start to accept more shit, don't you FEAR to lose them? You do. That's the human nature or...