Yogan's Journey to Life

 Strength.  All life is one and equal. All thoughts are lies. Every thought the mind presents to you to follow, is a trap wrapped in cheerful wrapping paper.  Here in this space I have absolute control over every word. Meaning others, you, people can't stop me. This is the power of writing. It is freedom. And morever through words, I can rewrite myself. I can live words into reality. Through firstly breaking through the plane of potential, the words structure gives me structure. That is why words are so powerful. It is the building block, like the dna of self. Through pictures and images, it can't describe self so well. And in fact, image is the mind's playground as well, so caution is advised. The desire to be what is best for all. The desire to move as a group. The desire to have friends. The desire to be recognized, to be seen. The desire to be liked. All desires are bullshit. Creation, pure creation of self, means one becomes something. Like matter, like an object. Th...

The documentary called Century of Self had very aptly call this current time period: the Age of Self. If you watch the whole documentary you will see how it approaches this point of the "The Age of Self" as a form of a conclusion that says we have been a product of mass manipulation through corporation, advertisements, and essentially the free market. Where we have become consumers self-obsessed with ourselves and our wants, needs and desires- and how this all started at the turn of the 20th century or the 1900s, because previously we weren't like that at all. So here is a twist of that coin: that this is indeed the Age of Self, and all that the documentary is pointing is quite true, but the 2nd meaning of the Age of Self is that this is the time period where Self as the Solution and as the one responsible for reality becomes Necessary and Prevalent. It is the Desteni message, that through Self is the Key. Because you have all the tools such as Self-forgiveness, Self-re...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being soft and gentle. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear connecting with other people. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear connecting with someone who got angry in a moment. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate people who get angry. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry at a person when they reacted and they were angry and taking it out on me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with anger when someone feels insecure and is getting angry and is blaming me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not instead become soft, become gentle, and become supportive when someone is reacting with anger within insecurity and is blaming me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up when someone is reacting within anger and insecurity, and so give into my own anger...

So if you would have asked me, or if I would have asked myself, what Strength is Last Week.... I would have said/shown like standing up, being rigid, muscular, pushing, tough. But that's not all there is to Strength, and the current definition is not appropriate in certain contexts. So this is what I found, being gentle and embracing what is here, no matter who it is, what they are doing, what they said, what they lived, embrace and accept what is here, doing this.... doing this is the antithesis, the complete opposite to my average response of Strength. In the age of Donald Trump, that definition of Strength of being so masculine, being tough, pushing things through, being rigid, being sharp is clearly shown to be what is is. And that is the natural response for me. SO something that I have been doing unconsciously is breathing in sharply. In seemingly random moments. What I'm seeing here is this, that breathing sharply is me activating this strength, which plays out ...

Talking with People, just learning about them should be normal. It is normal, just we may find it strange when it hasn't happened in so long. Like learning about someone, about things that may seem like insignificant facts from a certain point of view, can also seem from a certain point of view a Treasure Trove of words and experiences never seen, heard, or felt before. Maybe its about where someone has lived, that you never visited before or been to before. Maybe its about what someone does in their daily life, which tends to be their work/job and responsibilities. Maybe its about a person's interests and hobbies, what they know how to do, and what they do in their free time. Things, experiences, words, music you may never hear of otherwise. It can be simply hearing and understand what kind of a person a person is. Or it can be relating and sharing your own similar experiences, meeting someone who went through something similar or the same as you. It is just normal to just...

When I look online and around me, I don't see what I really want there to be. In the deepest part of me there is something that I want. There is something that I want to see happen. There is something that I want to see people doing and being. I want to see people, adults, teenagers, all people, old people, just say I am your friend to each other, everyone, anyone. I want to see people just laugh with each other, play with each other. I want to see people not care or be afraid of how they will look. I want to see people just want to have FUN. I want to see the end of this separation. I want to see people looking at the trees, and connecting with the spirit of the trees. I want to see people marvel at a tree, any tree, every tree. I want to see honesty, direct honesty from people. I want to see people taking responsibility for their opinions, beliefs, for what they say and think, and feel. I don't want to see anyone blaming anyone else for what they feel or think. I ...

Something interesting about the Mind is that when you are in it, you don't see possibility. You don't see potential. You don't see future play outs. You resist anyone telling you that a world of oneness and equality is possible. You resist hearing that everyone can be taken care of. You resist the so called "impossible," which calling it that is an act of resistance itself This world has infinite possibilities. So simple to say, a much different story to actually see it, be it, and bring a new reality forth through yourself. When stepping out of the mind you are stepping out of the past imprisoned by your lust to have a story, a personality, a Me that is defined by the information you carry around on your back that is your Name and Image that you keep of yourself in your head. Such an image of yourself, you consider real and worth defending with blood and violence. Your emotions are the substance that you claim substantiate your right to attack others in the nam...

Ever since I was a child I have seen the world the same. There is something inherently wrong with it. And every time I brought this up with my parents they would resist such a statement. They would talk about how great the world is. So this is about setting the record straight. I will be talking about how the world should be, and you the reader can decide whether there is anything wrong with this world. Also, whether you agree with my solution being the only solution. So when I was in school and simply being there around people, other students, the teachers, I already saw how wrong things were. I remember a situation where I was in Kindergarten and I had kissed some of the girls on the cheek just like I would do in my family. It was a sign of love you could say. Familial love. Just like a hug. When I did this the teacher had put me in time out. I did nothing wrong and the teacher looked at me like I did. She could have very well just explained to me that situation, but she didn’t....

I am absolutely exhausted, but I have to write this blog right now. So today, I went to the Sunset Sudbury School in Fortlauderdale. When I arrived I had an experience of excitement about facing something new. However, after I left 3 hours later, I realized that this wasn't new, but something old. So my expectations were false. To be in this school and work at this school requires that I access my real self, my old self, who I naturally am completely. Its refreshing and familiar experiencing, I know myself all to well. It's just that I rarely am myself, this old self of mine. In this environment, being my old self is not just a luxurary but a necessity to be at this school and get hired. You see, every person in the school will vote whether I work there. And this includes the children. And I know for a fact children see straight through you. This means that I get to talk about video games and play videos games with them. That is like a necessary point, that I be myself. Serio...

Previous Parts  My story: why I support Living Income Part 1 So continuing where we left off. It was during that time that I started searching on the web/internet for topics/words/phrases that I had feeling might lead me to some answers or new realizations. So there I was searching, and so willing to see/read something new, because what had been applying thus far, meditation, and stopping thoughts, wasn't working. And I was really determined you know? Like that is ALL that mattered, which was to change my experience of myself, permanently, not just for some hours, days, or some moments through some methods. I mean because that is what most of us do right? I mean, let's be honest here, that much of what we do in our free time is to make ourselves feel better for a while. Whatever it may be, be it drinking, drugs, gaming, partying, pornography, or whatever. I mean it can even be something that isn't so controversial, but it is still something we do to make ourselves fe...

Today the point opened up for me that I had to accept the statement that I am 100% a newb, naive, or greenhorn when it came to a particular skillset. How I came to this point was interesting, as it started when we first being within reaction, and having to slowly, very slowly, deconstruct what I felt. The process itself of figuring out what I was going through resembled this statement of being a newb, or greenhorn. This can be seen in how when I started writing I had to first identify that I felt bad. From there I specified and specified, so from the general into the specific. I found clear memories where I felt the same way, which led me to identify that this had to do with being a newb at something. The point I reached to now, of having to accept the statement that I am completely a greenhorn, as a solution to my inner turmoil, came out naturally as I seeing how I was resisting and reacting to myself, within my circumstance. So yes I am a newb when it comes this particular field...

So like I said in my previous blog, I will only be writing on substantial points. So I see within me the space to integrate myself further into responsibilities, thus things that will create a visible change in reality. I have many creative ideas already, so I am not short of ideas. What is missing is the application. There is some energy of resistance, its not very intense however. What I find though is that things are very silent, and living out these responsibilities, things are silent, and with that silence I feel fear. Strange isn't it? But its here. It feels almost like a subtle wavelength that moves with the silence. Haha, so as if the silence has sound? Haha. This fear hidden in the silence is tied to the fear of living these responsibilities so absolutely that they are a part of me completely. This is what this fear actually is. And the silence is just the future point, what I anticipate/expect the future to be like without fear... strange how the fear is tied to... being...

So if you read my title, well... it is an odd/strange title isn't it? Haha. So yes indeed, I didn't write yesterday. Why? Well, it turns out I have some really good news. I am becoming busy! Work is coming my way now. An opening into the system, one that is clear defined, like a hole against a steel wall, I have made penetration, and I am thickening and deepening the hole. i am making it wider. What does this mean? When I penetrate deep enough, water is going to come rushing out. Work is going to come flooding my way. And its happening because I am making this hole count. So I am anticipating this to happen. A hole somewhere. So this does mean time will be more limited. I will be working more, so I will need to be resting more. Etc... Of course it doesn't mean I will stop writing altogether, because there will be pauses, moments between my schedule where I will have time, maybe because I scheduled it, or also by nature of the schedule for that week/day. So yesterday...