Yogan's Journey to Life

So I see this point within me of the Secret Bully. Where in specific situations, where my mind sees the opportunity to activate, then it will be here: the Secret Bully. The design works as follows. It finds the perfect situations where basically another person will be confronted with me as the Secret Bully, but because we are alone, and because I don't do this openly with groups of people, and moreover I be Good with groups of people, and present myself as a good guy, that it would be strange odd if they were to tell anyone about it. So its highly specific. Understand this is a design, and given that I am writing it out, it loses its power. Because when you write out the design, the pattern, when you expose all the moments where it occurs, then it becomes powerless, because then you know it. When its kept secret and unspoken its like you don't know it. That is why the Secret Mind exists, to keep you trapped, and keep a level of power over you. Your only choice is to stop...

There is a very interesting mind system that seems best described as a personality within me. The reason why personality is because its basically like a person or has a personhood to it. It has a flavor and it has a presence to it. And its a personality within me because its like Dr Jekyll and Mr.Hyde, its something hidden, and when it is here it is like I am a different person. The reason why I am making it seem so dramatic or so extreme is because it is. Because when I started to open this up really, I was suprised/shocked yet at the same time not, that I was laughing and smiling about things which I would never do. So what I am saying is that its not something I was conscious of, to extent of being fully aware enough to even say it exists, or even say it is how I am describing today/now/above, like with the words of it being a personality within me, it being like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I didn't see it like that at all. Until now. What is interesting is now I have that awar...

Beauty! what is it? I mean really, let's question and find this answer. For me, this word has been in so many different ways and contexts that it is so opinionated. Okay when I look at the dictionary I find this 1. The qualities that give pleasure to the senses. This definition explains why I have heard this word refer in various context. Sound/music can be called beautiful. Something visual like a painting can be called beautiful. What is interesting too is that definition number two is this: 2. A very attractive or seductive looking woman. So I am personally confused, haha. I would rather reserve words to give their highest meaning. For me it seems wasted to have a word that supposedly have value to leave it just to pleasing to the senses. Like about the beauty of integrity? Like who a person is! Because consider the extreme, a person of such immense value as Who they are, yet they have the most "ugliest" body or appearance, compared to this: a person with such patheti...

Food! So this will be a series of blog on my relationship to food, and eating food. This will be a revision of my past relationship with food, as well as lessons I have learned from mistakes or life experience. It will also be about where I am right now, and where I am going in terms of eating food. So enjoy! So like with any story, we start in the beginning. So in the past, well... I have been alive for around 24 years, and remember only some of that time. One dominant memory I have about eating food is how I would interpret, believe, and think something about food, and by doing so I made it real and really believed it. For example, eating tomatoes were disgusting, I didn't want to eat it. So I had an idea about what it was and didn't allow myself to unconditionally bite, chew, and taste the tomatoe. Only later on when I ate tomatoes on a pizza, (which I had positive beliefs about!), did I enjoy tomatoes. Its funny what happens by simply removing your beliefs, and how...