Yogan's Journey to Life

This is a Open Letter to anyone feeling Despair. First of all its normal that life turns unexpectedly in areas you never anticipated. Your partner cheated on you, your parent's are not great at listening, your boss/work sucks, etc... Hopefully not all of this shit is happening at once. And there is great things in being alive. Typically there is something going for you. You have some people that care for you that really support you, and they may not be biological family. It can be a community online that is there when you need them. It can be a pet that gives you their presence/attention. My advice, is that enjoy things while they are here. And be good at letting them go. Because there were good times. And yes things end. Thinking won't change reality. Look directly at what you have. And if your life is going great, ask an open question to life on how you can help.  Happy Holidays

 I was reading Reddit. Its a useful site to read on things. Things happening in the world, things about people's experiences etc... And of these posts prompted me to explore deeper that topic in this moment of self-reflection. https://www.reddit.com/r/2meirl4meirl/comments/1fw0tgm/2meirl4meirl/   Its about how some parents tell their children how feeding them deserves gratitude. And as I read some of those comments, I remember some of the things I have seen and heard from people. Some parents/families, are those that accidentally got pregnant and had no choice but to have kids. Maybe its due to their abortion laws, or religious beliefs. But essentially they regretted having kids. You can see news articles of parents abandoning their kids to die, and being sentenced to jail for that.  Growing up, I had the naive belief that parents should care for their kids. The reality is that some people don't follow principles, they are completely selfish and follow various programming...

So based on what I have seen so far on the U.S. Presidential election, Kamala Harris is obviously better than Trump. A potato is better than Trump. What is most interesting to me is Kamala and the future she will bring. Based on her astrology, she will help bring in healing. She actually reminds me alot of my dad's wife, my stepmom. She also worked for the government an in a law enforcement type position, and there is a similar aura of being very trustworthy, following what is best for people, and helping others. A true service person. When I read people, I do it with like a sense of who someone is. Its similar to how when I am dreaming and I know it is someone I know, even though they look nothing like the person, I know its them. And so those qualities of a person I can pick up on them.  I am reminded of a moments where I have gone into conspiracy theories, before encountering Desteni. So I am empathize with people who engage in conspiracy theories. I do find is strange though th...

 What is the most important thing in Life? Is it money? Is it your skills? Is it your health? Is it your body? Is it your relationships? Is it the people in your life? Is it your hopes, your dreams? Is it your purpose, why you are here on Earth? Words define us. The word we speak, are us. We are literally creating ourselves and recreating ourselves with the words we speak and have spoken. We are living words. And we are living-words.  You can see when someone speaks, including yourself, whether they are speaking garbage. Whether they are speaking harm and violence, hate and revenge. You can see when someone is creating with their words, healing, support, honesty. You're ability to see is something you have to accept. The responsibility that comes with awareness doesn't have to be scary. I know how scary it can feel because that means you do see and are responsible. You may run away and try to live a "normal" life. Yet may I remind you that countless people have lived ...

I am going to be writing out some fundamentals when it comes to process.  What is process? We refer to the journey/time it will take to change/develop/become someone who stands within the principle of what is best for all as one and as equal. What is this principle? The best way to look at this principle is to look at reality, the physical reality in its entirety. You can start with your room, and where you are now. You are in a physical space, and you know everywhere on this planet is a physical place. Everything is equal in the fact that exists, and is temporary. Part of the inequality is the desire to live forever. You can see that playing out with some people. You can see some inequality in those that profess that this reality is created by God to serve them.  As for equality, you can see it in those who see the animals as the same spirit as us, and that when we consume their flesh they become one with us, and we honor their life. And thus we must strive to protect the eco...

 I have been working on the Positive/Negative Energies, surrounding Optimism and rose colored glasses. I suspect the following: that my lazy eye is due to the preprogramming of viewing the world and everything through extreme optimism and hope, as they say viewing the world through rose colored glasses. I used an astrology website https://www.zodiacsign.com/ to see the levels of preprogramming that exists within me. This lead me to the term of rose colored glasses, as it had indicated that as a weakness. And when I looked at my entire life, I indeed have viewed the world that way.  In my teenage years, I would delve into memories like a drug, and I would delve into Love as a drug. The first time I ever saw porn was around 13 years old. And when I looked at the kind of dreams I had as a child, I was preprogrammed to chase love. When I looked at my previous post on Love, it ties with sex is true. It drives the birthing of children. All done within a possessed state. All done wit...

 I had taken in 2 cats in their early stage of life, 1 year ago. During this time I was able to witness how they act during heat. In heat the act becomes possessed. In heat means their sexual programming is activated. Their personality becomes taken over. The body become possessed. They lose themselves essentially. I did have them fix shortly after, for those worried about that. Now, this behavior is the same with humans. Except we are not aware of to what extent it exists. Its easier watching others go through it, to tell that something happened.  Looking at my case, One thing specifically I went through is falling in Love. What does that mean exactly? Comparing this to a simple desire for sex, which many men and women have, where they act on it, find someone at a party, sleep with them and leave feeling fulfilled. What I am discussing is different than that. Falling in Love, is where I become mentally obsessed with someone. Thinking about them, imagining conversations with t...

Bernard once asked to keep writing my blogs since they are quite effective and that he likes something to read.  I am finding that I am getting angry again. Angry in a way that I want to write, I want to make videos, I want to say what needs to be said to resonate in the world on our responsibility, what needs to be done, and what is best for all.  I looked in my last 2 posts into Love, and how it was said that Love was used to pacify or cancel out the thoughts of revolution in USA. And inside my body it feels that way. Where I can feel pacified and not wanting to do anything once love gets in me. Which is a strong contrast to this anger.  I would call this anger passion. And I would be worried about whether it was real or not. And that is what I told Bernard, and he said to keep writing, and that I would get it in years time. I am not sure yet. But I am sure that being pacified, being content and relax and not doing anything will only lead to things getting worse, never ...

 I had the expectation from Life, from just existence itself, that I would get in the future, my partner. And I expected this because I desired love. And like a child throwing a tantrum, I withdrew from life when I didn't get the love I desired. Where my motivation for a career as a statistician was the money that I believed I needed to attain love. Because I saw myself having my career and money, and thus being able to attract someone cause of it. I have no doubt that its possible because of the nature of man, everyone wants love, and money is a good bonus.  Within withdrawing from life, from trying, I have found myself without motivation. Within believing no way can I get love from another. For this outcome I am grateful. For it would have been far worse if I had gotten the love I desired.  Its amazing how much love rules us all. The desirability of love. And how we choose love over life any day of the week.  I know real integrity would choose life over love. I kno...

 Love.  I know there is a place that I just wont go. And when I try to go, I shutdown. All the motivation and hoopla that I muster in order to get me there, just fades away. Just drops, I drop. And then I can't move an inch anymore, and I drag myself back to the things to pass the time, until I try again.  There's a really cool series of videos did, where essentially bernard was explaining the basic resonance pattern that every human is living, which is love. And he shows how every single person will inevitable choose love over everything else. Unless of course that resonance, that impulse is changed in ourselves, so we no longer feed, or go after that love. Love is the reason the hippies failed. That revolutions today fail because love has been stuffed in our faces in every way. link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GQKiYTroY0 So looking at me, I can see how thats the case. How in being this revolutionary radical this past decade, has been put to a fizzle due to love. Th...

RISK Author unknown  To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.  To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.  To reach out to others is to risk involvement.  To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.  To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.  To love is to risk not being loved in return.  To live is to risk dying.  To hope is to risk despair.  To try is to risk failure.  But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to do nothing.  The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.  They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.  Chained by their attitudes, they are a slave, they forfeited their freedom.  Only the person who risks can be free This above poem was written in the old desteni forum. Dont know who wrote it. But it was significant for me, so I saved it. I am in a position where I don't ...

 So in a way continuing from my last blog, except looking at it from a view of placing expectations on myself. So my parents places expectations on me as becoming a great spiritual teacher. The way they would treat me and talk with me, telling me directly about my great insights, and how in my astrology chart I was meant to uplift people spiritual and be a great teacher for humanity. My name Yogan was from a story book that was new agey about a guy sent to earth to do just that. So I accepted this narrative. Just like how we all accept and allow all that the mind has told us and said what we are, and also similarly what others tell us too, which the mind just repeats to us doesn't it.  Acceptance and allowance is what we all do aint it the truth? So preprogramming or not, as a child with the platform to speak and to observe, its very obvious the things people are going through. And since I was encourage to find the truth and to help others, that is what I did. Anyway could do ...

 Strength.  All life is one and equal. All thoughts are lies. Every thought the mind presents to you to follow, is a trap wrapped in cheerful wrapping paper.  Here in this space I have absolute control over every word. Meaning others, you, people can't stop me. This is the power of writing. It is freedom. And morever through words, I can rewrite myself. I can live words into reality. Through firstly breaking through the plane of potential, the words structure gives me structure. That is why words are so powerful. It is the building block, like the dna of self. Through pictures and images, it can't describe self so well. And in fact, image is the mind's playground as well, so caution is advised. The desire to be what is best for all. The desire to move as a group. The desire to have friends. The desire to be recognized, to be seen. The desire to be liked. All desires are bullshit. Creation, pure creation of self, means one becomes something. Like matter, like an object. Th...

 Something I have is an effective ability to read others. What I notice is 2 categories of people. 1) obvious and 2) hidden. Being obvious is when a person is saying whats on their mind, and acting with whatever their mind tells them to do.  Being hidden, is suppressing the mind, and instead showing another image to others. The mind will eventually spill out. And the degree or skill of suppression varies. Some are experts at it, usually out of necessity for work or daily life. Since every person is born an innocent child, for a person to develop a mind conscious system that is so disharmonious with the needs of everyday life, they must have gone through an abnormal and abusive living situation as a child. Picture bullying, being beaten up, raped as a child, or any other horrible, painful, treatment by others: adult, other children, teachers etc...  The mind develops under these conditions. Naturally one such conditioning is anger or rage. Because to protect ones body or s...

 I finally get what the Living word is, in the context of my life where I haven't been speaking or writing much for fear of upsetting other people, or "interfering" with their process.  So here it is, the definition, or what it includes as part of the definition. Whenever you speak, write, as what is best for all, as oneness and equality, it is the moment of you manifesting yourself here in the physical, and the nature of manifestation is that of power and the ability to effect change on reality and others. Side effects include clarity, health, as well as moving process along for everyone as a whole. The sole responsibility we have is to speak/write as what is best for all. To keep doing it.  One of the personality traits that I have that has been holding me back is the desire to define myself according to the results of the physical. Results are stupid. Because Results are an accumulation of so many things, including that which is not in my control. My ability is mine, a...

  Sexual Conceptions. Thoughts. Beliefs, Ideas. Images. Imagination. Fantasy. Pleasure. None of that is real and none of that matters.  Its a whiff of smoke. Cause the real stuff is the actual people. And when its just a fantasy, there are no other people. They are literal make believe. And when its Porn, its literally acting. And you are not there.  You are here, and what is real is what is here. So your partner, your relationships, that is what is here.  What makes me truly happy is being able to communicate anything with someone. That level of trust and respect is amazing. And that is something you can't fuck with, pun intended.  Friendship is the basis of all relationships. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to glorify sex, and orgasm. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place on the pedestal the idea of the attractive partner that stimulates me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place flirtation and sex ...

 I rather fail doing it my way.  I have hesistance to failing. I want to succeed every time. No failures. No loses. Getting it right every time.  So I freeze up and I rather not try, then risk failing. So to that I say I rather fail doing it my way. Cause I am constantly like listening and trying to assess what is the safest or best way. But that doesn't mean its what I really want to say, and what I really think would work. It's not my best.  Basically there is a lot going on in my head. The fears, the concerns, the possibilities. That I cut away the parts that are fun, that are interesting, and that I see is best. Cause I don't want to fail at all. And I want to have that certainty. And I don't have it. I don't know what will happen. And I can't handle it.  And then you have others opinions, and beliefs. And it brings doubt, of what is the way, cause frankly I don't know. Yet I have to choose something. But if I can be okay with failing. Then that would be...

 Its important to do self-forgiveness on anything conflictual or frictional. Like you know when your talking with someone and you know when it is that way. Typically is a topic, or something personal about them, something they say or do. You know. Friction, fighting, conflict, resist, shout match, argument, SHE said, he said etc... You know? Its' not kosher.  Knowledge can play a role with that. Like your knowledge of something. Like this is how things are. And if someone says something that is not how things are you wanna fight em, and tell em that is not how things are, this is how things are. Knowledge. Knowledge for fighting, brews more conflict. So whats the point except more separation. Knowledge should be treated with respect and sacredness, not abused for fighting.  Your the main character, and you can change the course of the outcome. Without your input, no fight can occur. Like dousing a flame. And its everyone's participation.  Examples I forgive myself fo...

 I feel an immense challenge within me. I don't like this world, as the system. I don't like that you have to generate money in order to eat and live. I don't like how land is bought and sold. I don't like the way where money controls all aspects of life currently. I hate it. I must change it. I must make sure that all have access to life. I must bring all here so we may unify on this point. We can recreate this world today, and give people the options and vision today, of what it means to live oneness and equality today. Limits are meant to be broken. I can't live for an empty selfish lonesome life.  My greatest strength and motivation is people, is the group. We are what is interesting and worthwhile. Stand with and as the group, and you will care for as well. Such a simple principle, when applied into reality can rework this reality, from one of separation to one of all as one and equality. Unity in our words, in our actions, in our money, where our power is one,...

 My self-forgiveness and self-honesty are no longer effective, not for a while. And I aim to fix that. One of the things that is constantly in my mind while writing a blog and self-forgiveness online is others who are reading it. I am thinking about how it will affect others, and how they will react to it. I am worried about how it can inadvertently affect others, in ways that don't seem obvious. And I have this painful intuition on my body that responds when I do things. I am really in a fucked up situation. Its like I am scared to live. Cause I had my heart broken. Which is what has happened before several times in my life. Except this time it was my deepest wishes and desires, of friendship, camaraderie, sharing, openness, community. It was my faith in humanity, the goodness of others. That being said, its not your fault or their fault. That is who we are now, we are quite messed up, evil mother fuckers, quite demented, quite broken, quite sadistic, ruthless etc...  I remem...