Yogan's Journey to Life

I have someone who is dependable, reliable, is THERE, and it is freaking me out! Cause my systems are activating... What are these systems? What is happening within me? I am going into self-doubt 1. I am second guessing what comes up within me as what I would normally say to the person and share with the person. I am feeling a strange constant state of happiness for no apparent reason 2.. I see this is here because I believe/see I have this person here, they are always here, they are reliable, they are going no where, an its a FACT. So in my mind I'm reacting in this strange constant happiness. Another way to look at it, is that it should be normal and the norm for people to ALWAYS be there, to be so trustworthy, and reliable, and simply SHOW UP in the relationship... that its so normal its boring or not exceptional. And we can live normally. 3. I am getting quiet and reserved because of 1. where I am second-guessing myself, not trusting myself, because I am afraid of say...

Socializing is the weirdest thing. I am just reflecting here. Like today, I get home, I do some things.... I don't FEEL like socializing or reaching out to people. I don't FEEL like it. I am happy and content as is, and if I reach out to someone.... they might not reach out back... maybe they are busy..... maybe they just don't want to right now.... maybe they just don't want to talk to me, OH THE DREADED FEAR OF THAT!!!!! Fear of Rejection!!!! AHH!!!!! OHH!!!!! NO!!!!!! Anyway, So I'm reflecting here, its weird, why would I ever reach out to socialize??? Why bother??? I am happy. I am content..... with just me.... alone.... But, But I know something. But I know there were memories and times before in the past. I know that there are people I have a history with, a past with.But I'm forgetting it.... Its weird, why do I feel like NOT reaching out to people and socializing, when i come home from a day's work???? I can hear my mom complai...

What if... I have been using the what if question to gain greater insight into my mind. The other day someone pointed out to me that I have a problem with desiring relationship. I had a hard time seeing what they were saying as it felt like I was done with wanting to go after relationship. But I decided to make sure and really check within myself thoroughly and completely. That is how I came to use the What if question. So first off, I wanted to test myself for any positivity within me. So I asked myself the question, what if there was no positivity at all. So asked this and I began to see that I have my sight or my vision. I have the sense of the blood flowing in my hands. I have hearing sound. And so on and so forth. There was plenty here for me to sense. Now for some, some may be asking why would you ask this question? Are you saying there is something wrong with positivity? Are you not suppressing what you are feeling?  So in response, I would ask the person to consider how...

So I saw this video and decided to do a post on this subject. https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=997679220290124 So within me I have identified the same point, and it is a common point in people of today. Where how much money you make is something that defines and values people. This is a sad point. Because we miss so much on so many great people, and we miss out so much in life. Because for example, we believe that something has to cost money to be fun. When fun is here to be had anywhere. You can have fun with objects, with nature and people, and it doesn't cost any money. So much becomes limited and put into a box within our minds through utilizing money as that point. We don't question this fully. And many of us embrace this point fully, where how we act, how we look represents the value of money. We we may feel pretty or beautiful or handsome if we are wearing expensive clothes or expensive makeup, or hair products, or the opposite happens where we feel ugly and s...

So today we are opening my Men mind, and by that I mean, what I, as a guy or man, find attractive and why? Specifically we are looking at a kind of attraction which I have observed most if not all men, who are straight/heterosexual, have towards an specific particular image of a woman, as well as her physical facial expression. So to start off this blog, I ask that you remember/imagine what you have thought to be a hot woman or man. So for me, I have many times while growing up, having certain fantasies, particularly involving a woman which I considered to be sexy or hot. So the question here is why is this particular image of a woman decided or chosen to be what is sexy or hot. And in general we do, as males, and women, have a shared idea about what is sexy or hot. Here are some examples. For women, it means to wear mascara, a tight dress, or short shorts, or showing cleavage, and wearing make up so make yourself like young without wrinkles, etc... So in commonsense yes, there is pr...

  Sleeping Dreams The following paragraph is what I perceived/believed. I had to write this out, before I can analyze and reflect what is it that I perceive/believe, so that I can receive a deeper understanding on the greater consequences and really what it means to live what is best for me/all as it pertains to the living action of dreaming and sleeping.   Dreaming is good because it reveals who I am, deeper suppressed parts. I get access to myself when I dream. Dreaming is also a limitation because I don’t have full control. It would be nicer if I could access those same parts but when I am awake. In dreams I generate emotions and/or feelings. If I have feelings in a dream I tend to sleep more and attempt to not wake up. If I have emotions I tend to want to wake up. Dreaming is an action. It is time spent in real space/time to perform some action with some result. The question is whether that time spent is worth that action/result. I would say no, simpl...

I saw what I wrote yesterday as supportive. Later I noticed I stopped pushing and challenging myself. Earlier this morning, I did push and challenge myself by pushing and challenging myself and everyone internally to live oneness and equality. This is clear for me. For me this is either absolute or not. I cannot pick sides. There is only oneness and equality. If people I thought were honest, turn out to be dishonest, this should not affect me. If I move or act, is should always be me here moving and acting. Living here. Thoughts and emotions and feelings are in separation from self. The words and pictures, things we can live and apply as, are in separation. So we have to direct our words and pictures, as all and one and equal. The same with everything, beliefs, ideas, behavior, fears, desires, we have to direct ourselves whether this removes beliefs or not, the point is clear, oneness and equality. We have to become equal to the mind. The mind is in the superiority seat, because we ab...

--> So I made a mistake in not standing as what I trusted, as good. I immediately went into a fear of not being good, when I received feedback that I was not good. I went into the mind instead of standing up for myself. I fear knowledge, and I granted knowledge equal value to reality. But knowledge can be false- while reality is real/here. Knowledge can reflect reality, however it can also not. So this proves knowledge itself cannot distinguish reality from false lies (misinformation, disinformation). WE, need to see for ourselves directly reality by being here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the mind as separate from me and that I was not responsible for what happens in my mind. When and as I see the mind as separate from me, I stop and breathe, I bring myself back here, I stop the separation, and I stop the mind either immediately by saying "stop" or by applying self-forgiveness. I imagined telling this specific girl the foll...