Yogan's Journey to Life

Judging myself for doing what's best for myself. Judging myself as bad, not good. Feeling stressed about it. I'm in a possession, so just going to do self-forgiveness unconditionally to start. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as a bad for doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel stressed about doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself for doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself what is best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel burdened by doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and beLIEve that I am not allowed to do what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist doing what is best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel drained of...

So I have been doing some inner research today, with focusing on a particular point. This relates to when you feel hyped up and energetic. Now what I am realizing may be the case, is that since university I have been in a constant state of being alert, what we call fight or flight mode. This is because of both the demands of my school, and perhaps other reasons, including my relationship to my mind. Suffice to say, I am pretty confident that this is the case, because one thing that occurred during this time period is that I lost my appetite, meaning that I didn't feel hungry very often, or less often, I should say. So this morning I tested the point, and lo and behold, I became hungry. So all I did was to calm down, and enter into a resting state. This involved stopping a particular train of thought that I have been obsessed with the last day or yesterday. But in general I know that I have not been feeling hungry, and in general I know that there may be many points, if not the ma...

So today, I woke up tired. This meant that I continued in bed for a while. I was really looking at this point. I notice that my face was rather pale, meaning that there wasn't a lot of blood  circulation, thus why my face looked more white/pale. And I was just being aware of the whole tired experience. So I know I had things to do, I had to leave the house for some errands. I was going with someone else, and while I was waiting for them to get ready, I had time to reflect and investigate on what this is. So I considered the possibilities, the first is that there is something wrong with my body, that it needs something, or it has some problem that needs fixing, for that I have to see the doctor and measure blood, which is what I plan to do. But in knowing what I know, and seeing what I have seen, it is possible that this can have something to do with my mind and some pattern or system that is activated. So in that I did see something, and as I looked throughout my body, I did fee...