Yogan's Journey to Life

A moment where my attention got zoomed in focus on something/someone. Here the mind is activating. It is clearly the mind. Thoughts started to stream: maybe they are doing some activity, maybe they are secretly angry at me. Maybe they are doing something intentional and its direct at me! I don't want to see this! I also can't help but look! It has caught my attention, i am looking at it. So I had obviously shifted into something. I had a thought/opinion about the situation about what to expect and about the scenarios that could be happening. I was emotional already. It felt real and it caught my attention. I notice this aspect of having my attention caught is a red flag for the mind. My attention was shifted. It became zoomed in and focus on this thing that was happening. I didn't want to look away, I wanted to pursue and look at it more, and at the same time I didn't want to look at it, but I couldn't move on. So all of this is obviously the mind, its cle...

I am not a parent. I don't have any kids. But I am worried.... So to explain why this is, I will start with some of my experiences the past 7 months. I have been working at a Sudbury school with children ages 6-12. Now, perhaps a few people in the world can relate to this, but it feels as if some dormant unconscious parental fear has been activating within me. Almost like a programmed put there by nature within all of humanity. But in my case, I am not a father, so this worry I am experiencing is being triggered through the role/position I have been in, where I do watch out for the children's safety. For parents it might seem natural to feel this way. However, because of my life experience, and so frame of perspective, I know that this worry/fear I am experience is anything but natural. Logically, it makes sense to experience worry and fear if your environment is truly threatening. Which if we look at the genetic history of humanity, there were periods of time, not so long ...

Realigning Guilt. SO what is interesting that I have observed today is how when I feel guilty, I enter into it completely without question. This means that I feel guilty, and accept the experience, when I do not even know whether I did something or I am doing something that I am feeling guilty for. It is like that when i feel guilty I already accept and believe that I did do that thing, even though I don't know for sure with confidence that I did. So guilt is misaligned within me. With all honesty I can see that I don't know whether I did this thing that I feel guilty for. Yet I feel guilty all the same and I believe and act like I did do this thing. Why is this? This is the result of trusting my feeling and following my intuition as a feeling, as a trust for my feeling to have some knowledge or access or awareness outside and above/greater than what is here available to my awareness. Like with tarot card readings, higher guides, psychics, divine beings, spiritually conne...