Yogan's Journey to Life

   There is this Challenge with Being in this World. Who we are, the entirety of who you really are, is here accessible for you to see. It requires accessing your entire self in a moment, what sums you up as a person. You can access that point in a moment. The thing is that most of us, like all of us really, are existing in a level of ignorance, where we don't want to be aware of who we are.  The Challenge is simple, to know who you are, change who you are as those parts of yourself that are not best for all, into what is best for all. And by each of us doing this, we each become what is best for all, and together we stand as what is best for all. Simple.  For the eons and the ages there have been people who have been pointing to this Know Thyself point. So basically this is the Challenge and it is quite challenging, and we have not succeeded yet. We are reaching a point where consequences that have been accumulating will finally come to fruition. So that means a gre...

Link, 1st blog on topic : https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/01/day-690-about-being-alone-as-trauma.html 1st Addendum: https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/01/day-691-update-and-addendum-to.html So today is the second Addendum. I have had several different points come up in the last few day and half that would add up and be part of this original mind system of Trauma of Being Alone. The first was a more sexual one. Where I have had a problem within masturbation where a certain line of thought would come up of: "you don't know what you are doing!" so what I did this morning was look at this line of thought within the context of the Trauma of Being Alone, and what I have opened up recently. So within that it became clear that I was digging into my Past Relationship and sexual encounters. One of my past partners said to me "Yogan, you don't know what you are doing, you have good intent, but you don't know who you are."  So I started...

Being Alone There is a system within me that 5 parts to it. Each part relates to this Trauma of being Alone growing up, being alone as who I am, being alone as my story, being alone as my past, the physical behaviors and ways I act out due to this Trauma of being alone. The 5 parts of the system are: 1.      Feeling/Thinking my life is meaningless and purposeless. This is very well captured by the end of the Bohemian Rhapsody song “Nothing really matters, anyone can see, nothing really matters, nothing really matters to meee…. Any way the wind blows….” These have been constant and consistent backchats in my recent days going back to several years. Where I would try to stop it and stand up from it, though never really ending it or changing it. But I did use this as a starting point to write out my purpose to become a data scientist and use that money to create my life and support the life of others. So I didn’t let it stop me, I worked with it however w...

So reality brought before me moments with people that are from my past, and so recreating the dynamic of relationships and moments from my past in front of me. So here I am literally facing my past again. Within me and as me I reacted, I reacted in the same way I have reacted before in the past. My reaction so to feel stressed, depressed, misplaced, anxiety, unsettled. Within seeing this, that I what I am facing is literally my past in this moment, then what I have to do is walk this moment HERE, the only moment that is here, as the Me that I am now, that I direct here and now. The past is gone, even though people are here recreating the moments and living it as themselves, they are NOT me and I am not bound by the past, or by past rules, or by how I should be because that is how I used to be in relation to them. I can create here, how I am, who I am, in the moment, without Shame, without Guilt, with Peer pressure. I stand as the new me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing ...

Women, Girlfriends, Crushes, Secret Admirer I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love all these women throughout the years. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love some women because of how they looked. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love women because I believed I needed a lover, a wife, a partner. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love someone because its what I am supposed to do. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the unbearable pain within me while I was in love. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act out within this unbearable pain as love, and act on this unbearable pain. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put my body through hell because I wanted Love. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to myself to hold my body ransom through unbearable pain as love, in order to force myself to go after someone like ...

Oneness and Equality means that you are willing to do anything for the whole. You are willing to give up privileges, rights, if these things stand in a way of what is best for all. You are willing to follow rules and laws if these support what is best for all. You are willing to give up guns, drugs, alcohol, sex, freedom if it meant what is best for all. You have to consider the relativity of things. Relative this. Right now the world has seen incredible expansion and growth. If oil/gasoline was never discovered, we wouldn't have all that the richest 50% has access to on planet earth. Do you know what oil and gasoline is? It is the living body, the living tissue of plants and animals that has been stewing for a fucking long time. It is a very Condensed form of energy that humans just found. But it took a fucking long time to create. So you do the math. Things are relative. Freedoms are relative. They are relative to what our economic luxury and our environment has to offer. Hum...

Judging people before you get to know them. This leads to great suffering. Judgment. What is Judgment? Judgment is when you have a thought, a thought about something, and you believe it, and charge it emotionally. The truth doesn't need believing it just exists, and it exists without emotion or feeling. So judgment is not that.  How many times have judged something or someone. Maybe it is a group of people. Maybe its people with money, without money, beautiful people, ugly people, happy people, sad people, loners, popular people, friendly people, nasty people, spiritual people, pessimistic people. All of these words represent forms of judgment. Because there is no way one word can define an entire person. Looking at what was said yesterday, Evil needs to stop. So here Judgment is evil, and evil, the act of evil, and the thoughts must stop. Because this evil, judgment leads to suffering. How many opportunities did you screw up because of what you judged another to be, and ther...

The past year in the half I have been reeling in suffering. I have been giving up too easily. I get cranky. I don't clean up my messes and haven't been doing all my responsibilities. I have been doing less. And what I have been trying to do is to figure out why. I don't know. I have pushed myself to do more/better but it hasn't worked. I went through an experienced about a year and a half ago. I also went through experiences the last 3 years. I have met certain people, spent time with them. In short I faced evil. I faced moments with people where they were truly evil. They deceived me, lied to me. They did it with a smile. They took and still continue to take advantage of people everyday, even right now as I write this. And there is nothing I can do to make them stop. I am powerless. Bernard once said sometimes you have risk getting screwed over. And I believe that, and I still believe it. Because this life is too short, and valuable to waste not trying new things. ...

Imagine, hearing the sound of people that you loved and cared about and were completely committed to, making sounds of wanting you out, cheering for you to be gone, being completely against you and knowing that the reason is because someone is manipulating them and telling them lies. Imagine, the first person you ever kissed, who you were completely committed to, and wanted to be with and spend time with, telling you that they don't want to spend time with you anymore and that you are a burden to them. Imagine that you blamed yourself. There is absolute suffering, hell, devastation within you. You heart is shattered. Your in constant suffering within yourself. You feel remorse and grief. You feel pain and anguish. You want to cry from the pain you feel.   You are traumatized. You are stuck and frozen in time. Do you have any preparation for this? Is there anyone that can actually assist you properly? Because getting angry, wanting revenge and blaming.... are not an...

What is the greatest act of Love? To answer this question, it seems logical that the greatest act of love would be an action that addresses the greatest amount of suffering. Addresses it in such a way that the suffering is eliminated. And not only eliminated, but replaces the suffering with what should have been there before: support. So in our quest-ion to find the greatest act of Love, we must find the greatest suffering. I have an answer, so let's see what you think. I found a statistic that says 80% of people live on less than $10 dollars a day. So that means that 20% of people on the planet earn more than $10. I know for myself, as someone who lives in United States, that it would be impossible to live on just $10 dollars a day. I earn much more than $10 each day. So the same is true for people in United States, Canada, Europe, Australia, Japan. That we all earn more than $10 a day. When I think of other problems, maybe disasters, health problems, lack of food, lack of edu...

So tonight I am writing, which is the end of the day. Early today, in the morning, I made a commitment to try out something painful, as a reminder. So I am assessing right now what I have found. However, because I am writing a public blog, I should explain what I mean. So this morning, I was looking at something within me. I was firstly looking at how effective I have been in following my schedule. There was much improvement that can be done. I am also on the start making and executing a long plan, and in order for my plan to be effective I need to be consistent everyday. So I was looking into my past and seeing when I had been effective in living out a plan, or living consistently everyday. So I notice already in that moment as I looked back, that pain was something that motivated me. It was the pain of being where I was, that motivated me to seek out a better place to go, which was my college. I had to do much effort to make that happen, involving getting straight A's in h...

Mechanistic Mind Part 2 So imagine the city where you live. Now imagine on the other side of the world, a city that exists. Do those people exist? Then why do we act like they don't? We waste our time when we are not aware of the life that is existent everywhere equal and one. Every moment that is not spent being aware of that life, is a moment where you could have been aware of that life. So it is wasted. If you had only one life, would you not make it the best life on earth? Well you do have only one life. In case you forgot, when you were a child, you were aware of life. That was the best moment. So why not be aware of life, of all animals, plants, humans, beings, insects, snakes, lizard, bugs, bacteria, cells, organisms, the water, the air, etc... and so on to include everything? Everything is the most that exists, there is nothing more than everything! How many times have you looked at a pet, a dog or cat, and envied them? How many times have you enjoyed their expre...

Hey, so just to share, I have been creating a war within myself. Instead of picking the point that all would agree with: what is best for all... I have instead been perceiving myself as an individual that can be attacked on this point that, within this imagination of being attacked, I am really deep down, hiding points that I fear being exposed, because I fear that I may have to let them go for what is best for all. So herein I make the commitment to expose me completely, to question every point within me, to not react at what is existent within me and judge what is within me as bad, before I even get to expose it for myself. Bad, the word bad, or evil, can be put to good use, to serve what is best for all. It also can be used to cause separation. So within this commonsense perspective, words are innocent, including the word evil, and from my view, I cannot see a word that is not innocent. So we do in fact abuse words, whenever we do not use them as how they would want to be treated, t...

I will in posts to come walk various characters. Right now (which is related to the characters i am focusing on, isn't it all related? um yes lol) im gonna see how love is missing from the equation of those with intelligence. SO. Love. Right, WRONG? What we as humans tend to miss is the physical. That sums up the tragedy of the human. A tragedy in Greek Theater.        So answer me, would not love dictate you feed everyone. I mean we see people do this, and we then take their f-in actions and glorify them, deify them as if they ARE MORE. So we don't have to give an F about ourselves really doing our part. Now that would entail ENDING Starvation. That's right i said it. END STARVATION.        End starvation would be the first act of love that would have ever existed on this planet or this existence for that matter. No the creation of the human was not an act of love, no having sex is not an act of love. Buying your Girlfriend chocolates is no...