Yogan's Journey to Life

I am not a parent. I don't have any kids. But I am worried.... So to explain why this is, I will start with some of my experiences the past 7 months. I have been working at a Sudbury school with children ages 6-12. Now, perhaps a few people in the world can relate to this, but it feels as if some dormant unconscious parental fear has been activating within me. Almost like a programmed put there by nature within all of humanity. But in my case, I am not a father, so this worry I am experiencing is being triggered through the role/position I have been in, where I do watch out for the children's safety. For parents it might seem natural to feel this way. However, because of my life experience, and so frame of perspective, I know that this worry/fear I am experience is anything but natural. Logically, it makes sense to experience worry and fear if your environment is truly threatening. Which if we look at the genetic history of humanity, there were periods of time, not so long ...

In town, in a school, there was an art class. A girl in the class made an art piece. People in her life didn't like the art piece. The girl liked her art, so to her, that's all that mattered. She didn't cry or worry that people in her life didn't like her art piece. She didn't feel badly about herself that her art piece wasn't liked by others. She didn't think about whether the next art would be liked by others. She simply made her art, and she liked it. Why is she like this? She knows it is a waste of time to feel bad about what others think or say about her art. Her art is her creation so its her responsibility. Why would she feel bad about herself think that she is less, or her art is less? Art is art. And she is herself. She is not someone else's thought. And her thoughts are her own, and why would she accept any thought that her art pieces is horrible, when she likes it? There doesn't appear to be a good reason. In art class she is graded. S...

Who I am I lived a very specific life, like I am sure everyone has lived a very specific life. When I look at my life, my mind automatically compares my life experience to those of others. When I self-honestly check this however, I know, always that everyone is the same, and our life experience is in essence the same. Now, I cannot really know the life another has lived, that is for him/her to know. To share my life experience is a step I must take. I am an innocent being. I have wholeheartedly accepted all of the advice and knowledge that my primary caregiver has given me. She has always been there for me, both my word and action. I naturally trusted her and that trust was rewarded in certain specific ways. So as that trust was rewarded I trusted her more. So that with each new knowledge point I always was more willing to accept it. I did have fears, very specific fears. I did face them directly as a manifestation of myself. I always wanted to find people like me. I wanted to cre...

--> I had an interesting moment just earlier. Its difficult for me to write, probably in part for the same reason I am writing this blog. The reason being about this realization that I ask permission for myself to live, essentially. I ask permission to have my realizations about myself to be able to be lived and applied by me. I feel wrong and bad to even ask someone whether I can live and apply this realization I had on myself. This realization that I ask permission to even realize things about me. I see also how the same thing goes for asking permission to do bad things, where self-honestly I would not do those things, yet I want to from the perspective of the mind. Which is another layer, of the mind. And I can see how this asking for permission is really my mind granting itself permission. Where sometimes the mind may use a few words out of context to give itself permission (me) to do the thing it wants (I want). And I trust it, because I received permission, therefore ...