Yogan's Journey to Life

A Passion, a Anger, a Need, an Action, a Doing, a Tenacity, a Commitment... something like your very soul stirring within you... the agitation, the inability to sit still and do nothing. The Strength, the Call for action. This thing I am describing doesn't necessarily have to be here. I don't have to access it. I can just not call upon it, and it won't be here. Simple as that. As long as I call upon it, as long as I bring it here, live it here, it will be here. It takes my action, my initiation, my awareness, my movement for starting the fire, igniting the flames. It otherwise won't just happen most likely on its own. To live this everyday requires a decision everyday to live it. To write this blog everyday requires a decision to write it. To access the best of myself and the strength of this body requires me to call upon it. It won't happen otherwise, everyday. I can feel my heart beating faster. It has a physical effect, a physical activation. I am more...

So I was doing some self-investigation today and I realized something. I was looking at human connections, and how I haven't realized that connections between people is something that is out of my control, or at least not completely in my control. Because what I am seeing when I reflect on my past is that I have a grievance in relation to perhaps 100 people, or many many people that I have met and known, where I wish, want, and blame myself for not keeping the relationship here, for it ending or not going further than it had. Though now with having a more discerning eye and self-honesty, I can see how in fact that for all human relationships that the connection you have is temporary. So for example I can see how 2 people meet and have a connection, and that connection will last any amount of time, it can be a second, a day, a week, a month, a year, or more. That initial connection forming is out of the hands of the people. For example, someone can't decide just to have a con...

So when I had a little time today, I decided to sit down and watch tv. Now the first channel that was on was Nickelodeon, and it was the middle of the day, so the programming that was on was a child's tv show. Now it is interesting that we call television shows, tv programming... Do you see? You are being programmed? So I hated what I saw on tv, and especially what I heard. But this is only because I know better now, however, growing up watching tv, I would watch these types of shows daily hours on end. For some reason I was attracted to this television programming designed for kids. Why? I didn't know. And yet, know as an adult, I can reference the same experience. It still has an effect on me, except now I know better. The main thing I hate about these shows is how it doesn't depict REALITY at all. The way the people act, how they act, how they treat each other, is very obviously insincere and fake, which you can even hear it in the voice. But if you don't have expe...