Yogan's Journey to Life

Remembering my life and who I have been. I have been many different persons. I once was a person very much in love and obsessed with one person. I remember all the love and pain I felt. I was in so much emotional pain. Remembering the emotional pain I felt, it feels like no physical pain would mean anything in comparison to that. This is my evidence that love is the real evil. I once had the relationship I wanted. I had lots of sex. I felt close, intimate. Then I found out the person was someone who was not committed to me. I realized that I made a mistake. I realize I needed to change. That is when I started Desteni. I was ready. I remember being like 7 years old and sad. I remember being happy in regular class, and when I moved to gifted class everything changed. the kids in regular class were friendly and sociable. The kids in gifted class were super serious and intimidating. It was like being in military school, or where everyone was a robot. I remember feeling just weird, ...

I am fairly good at cooking. I am extremely good at following recipes. I can make just about anything with the right equipment, ingredients and a recipe. I know for others, following a recipe is difficult. For me, I stay focused, and I plan a head, what the best thing to do first, and what are the absolute most critical points in the cooking process, and I DON"T TAKE shortcuts. I do it exactly what it needs to be. And I make it good, yummy! In that sense I am patient/diligent/focused. I rather spend the extra time making something really good. I don't have any doubt or fear that I can't bake or cook something with the right recipe and ingredients. Though I notice how others judge me as a good cook, because they can't do what I do, which is to be diligent, focused and committed. That is all I do, nothing more. I'm thinking that they just want to compliment me to get food from me. Because that is what I see them do to my grandmother. I think that is distasteful th...

Learning, coincidentally, is the name of a class I took in college, which is about the fundamental form of learning that occurs in many animals, including humans. And it in some way relates to what I wished to talk about today. So I had an interesting internal experience in the last 24 hours. Who I am, my demeanor, and my general experience of myself and my surroundings changed. There are many components of experiences. Some of them include: guilt, depression, sad, and hopeless. To spoil the ending now: I saw how learning about what is here, that action/movement, especially at a level of who I am, so it is natural and automatic, is important to assimilate and become/live. So I see the best way to explain this is by example. So in my real life experiences, someone said something to me, and I reacted/judge/assumed that to mean something indirect. So I took those thoughts/beliefs as real. Why? When that moment occurred, there was like a shift where I felt deep within me these experi...