Yogan's Journey to Life

This morning I reflected briefly how I was having a series of perfect moments, where all was really good and going well. I saw I was having some perfect moments. And when I saw this I immediately felt a fear, because in movies and tv shows, and other stories, whenever things are going its BEST, that is when something bad happens. So I felt a fear immediately that something BAD is bound to happen next. So my reaction went from fear to kind of suppressing ignoring that I was having such perfect moments in my life. Then I caught myself. I ended up doing self-forgiveness on this fear, and I went back to embracing/seeing and simply recognizing that I was having some really good moments, a series of them all one after the other. I embraced that and went on my day. The result was that I was really enjoying my day/time. And in a way, kind of giving that joy and relaxation to others, where I smiled and was relax while saying hi. I did have other moments of challenge, where what was ...

So I was presented with constructive criticism, and so I faced an old pattern where when someone provides critical feedback, I resist and react personally. So the correction is to listen to the feedback and try it out. It is a simple point, yet the correction is not often applied by many people. To support others, what I do is to see what I am feeling, to breathe, and firstly agree unconditionally to try out what the person is saying. So within that I am clear and objective and honest. If I feel emotional or resistance, that means my breathing wasn't effective, so also my decision to stop wasn't effective.

I was listening to someone's story about a situation and it reminded me of a mistake I did. Now, there is no way for me to know whether the person is making the same mistake as me. Why that is is because it really has to do with self-honesty, which requires the person seeing/assessing what her situation and who she is within that. So what she shared with me could be completely the case. And that case is that she is facing resistance to doing something. But there is a reactive response that I faced with resistance, throughout my life. That is that I have placed myself in the situations that I would face the most resistance, or that were very difficult and challenging. So this mentality and idea, belief, and desire that it is always good and best to put myself in a situation where I will face resistance, challenge and difficulty, is false. Why that is I can explain with examples. So the first example is that I wanted to be a philosophy major. I had different reasons why I wanted to...

So I saw something really fascinating, and this will make for a really great blog post. So I was playing a game just now, and it was online competitive game, meaning that we had two teams, and I was playing with one team, and in this last game we won. Now when I played I had to be very in the moment, especially due to the structure of the game. A single mistake can be extremely costly. So my play style in this game was a rather unique position, and was one of the major reasons, and perhaps the key point that allowed us to win this particular game. I played very well, and made very few mistakes. Within that game I had to take some major risks, but they were calculated and I minimized the riskiness of the risk, if that makes sense. So I took the best route, and I saw it being the one that the team needed, for us to win. It is interesting because you can say the moment was very intense, and I can remember clearly the moment when I was taking the major risk, and how I was very focused...

So I have a lot to share in this blog. You see, I will covering what I did tonight, and as well as a draft of a blog I wrote on leadership. So I ask for some patience, because there is a very significant nugget of realization here for me, which is kind of a decision in itself, surprisingly. Paramore. So this is a band, whose music I was exploring and rocking out to for the past year. I remember when I bought their latest album about this time last year 2014. And I went to their concert that July. Sooooo. Tonight, just 1.5 hours ago, as I write this, I finish going to my 2nd concert. The most important thing that the reader, you should know, about this band, is the sincerity and honesty that have developed. Sooooo. This point of them committing to and sticking with themselves is what brought them the greatest success thus far in their music career. So for me, I have been lost, frankly, in what to do, and so really who to be. Who am I? This question clearly indicates I am lost, if y...

I wanted to continue with part 2 of resisting M, however what I experience is not resistance, as how I have defined it. A closer word would be a reaction, and more specifically a kind of sad emotion. This is a bit perplexing, but it is here. I don't see any logical reason, at least with the information I have at present to feel sad when thinking about M. But the mind is layered, and this is the next layer. In my body it does feel deeper. I perceive this as a remorse or regret for the previous layer, all the anger, hatred, desire to win and be on top. So a remorse and regret for who I was, what I did, and how I treated existence. I remind myself that I can't change the past. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a ruthless  son of a bitch that only cared about himself and his life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take this existence, my home, in care, respect, and appreciation, by physically and by action taking care of it, show...