Yogan's Journey to Life

yesterdays blog: https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2019/01/day-685-reacting-in-worthlessness.html Continuing with yesterday's point on Worthlessness in me while looking at how it relates to being Comforted. So as a child growing up in worthlessness, I didn't seek to change the worthlessness directly, because I didn't know how, I didn't have the tools that I have now that I learned from Desteni ( www.desteni.org www.lite.desteniiprocess.com ). So what gave me a momentary pause or distraction from feeling worthless was feeling comforted, and being comforted. Now looking at how this developed over the years its interesting. I remember some of the first crushes I had on women, when I was like 9 years old, that it was with girls in my class who were nice to me, and paid attention to me, who seemed like nice people. So I was being comforted in that moment. And it was very specific, like the smile of the person, making feel that I was being accepted and welcomed. ...

The past year in the half I have been reeling in suffering. I have been giving up too easily. I get cranky. I don't clean up my messes and haven't been doing all my responsibilities. I have been doing less. And what I have been trying to do is to figure out why. I don't know. I have pushed myself to do more/better but it hasn't worked. I went through an experienced about a year and a half ago. I also went through experiences the last 3 years. I have met certain people, spent time with them. In short I faced evil. I faced moments with people where they were truly evil. They deceived me, lied to me. They did it with a smile. They took and still continue to take advantage of people everyday, even right now as I write this. And there is nothing I can do to make them stop. I am powerless. Bernard once said sometimes you have risk getting screwed over. And I believe that, and I still believe it. Because this life is too short, and valuable to waste not trying new things. ...