Yogan's Journey to Life

To care is scary..... it is scary because you have to give up freedom. To care means to be a servant. Imagine or remember caring for something/someone. You had to support them. That is not freedom, or free to choose or do what you want to do. That is being there for them, to support them, care for them. If you want to be free in every moment, then you can never care for someone, or have them ever trust you. Because to care for someone and to gain someone's trust means that you are committed to them. Being committed to them, means that you are not free to break that commitment. Freedom then is overrated because obviously, breaking commitments/promises, is not something desirable for you or for those around you. You want to be surrounded by people you can trust, that are dependable. You want to be a trustworthy person. For some reason, fear exists when it comes to losing freedom. Even if that is the freedom to abuse and to break promises/commitments. Freedom then is something...

Ego. So I'm getting quicker, faster, more accurate and precise, more correct, and overall better in several things that I have been doing continuously/daily with the intent/purpose of becoming PERFECT or a master of it. So within this I have been experiencing some ego content based thoughts/backchat/words/phrases in relation to other people specifically and how they are. So I am flagging this point, and investigating it. So I would say that becoming better and doing more is a birthright. And that to feel good/god/ego because I am doing it in contrast to others, is delusional. I would actually do things on this starting point to prevent others to become as great as me. One thing that is interesting that I am noticing is that this has happened with only a few things, because I have had moments where I did fail completely, and so such thoughts are absent from this area. Resentment resentment that they did not show me this or teach me this. Anger anger that they are not doing th...

Don't take your thoughts personally i have been taking my thinking personally. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take my thoughts to mean "who I am" as who I am cannot change. Within the principle of what is best for me, I write. I commit myself to write within this principle of what is best for me in this blog. What is best for me, includes establishing a world that is best for all. It includes forgiving myself for accepting and allowing what is less than what is best for me. It includes becoming what is best for me. And what is best for me is to live in a way that is best for everyone including me by practically considering every part, including me, without compromising any part, including me. How I treat myself is how I would treat existence. So by taking care of me and supporting me, I am stating that how I would treat existence would be with the same care and support. So who I am here is a gift, an opportunity to take care of something th...

Im going to take this deconstruction of myself slowly . I always wanted an easy life.  --> I can see this play out in the context of two summers ago where my dad, my brother and cousin and I were building a shed for my dad. I noticed how I did not try my best and how my dad kept telling me I would hate this kind of work because I do not enjoy working, like him. He wanted me to get a degree so I can get a job that does not require to much work and makes relatively more money than other jobs without degrees. This reminds me now of a conversation my dad and I had around the time I was about to enter highschool. We were walking outside at night and my dad asked me if I could have any job in the world, any, what would that be? What would you do out of love? To respond I first looked inside and saw a distaste for work that had no 'significance' where people are not 'helped' in what they need helped with most. I made it my job/responsibility to help people w...