Yogan's Journey to Life

I saw this vision/metaphor of an escalator at a local mall, where it represents a polarity of being stuck on this point of going up and then going down continuously forever. Where what it represents for me is people Joining me and me feeling good about that, and then people being against me, and me feeling fearful of that. And its very much related to being agreed with, and then being disagreed with. So to explain it better, its like in life when you are looking for that point that someone else agrees with you, or with what you are doing, and it gives you that good feeling or sense of someone has joined you and is on your side. Because of that nature of the mind, it works in polarity. So if you accept that above point within you of feeling good in such moments, then you automatically create the opposite, that you feel bad, fearful in this case. So its like then the moments through life where when people disagree with you, and are against what you are doing, your decisions, your...

As it is described in the Desteni Material, I found the following to be true: that we have a being who is placed here in our chest areas of our body, and that we have a mind conscious system who is placed its emotional churning center in our solar plexus or stomach region of our bodies, and that this is an energy center where it will send energy to the head region where Thoughts are created, Backchats too, and the general mind activity. And that what the Process that we all have to walk as Humanity in order to be free is to amalgamate with our physical bodies. What this means is realizing that Who I am is the Being here in the chest region and that I can essentially stop/ignore/ stop-participation regarding the Mind. And so this means that I am here in the body sensing reality, seeing the immediate space around me without thought, and so with that kind of silence. Where I realize that who I am as Choice, and Awareness and Decision is a being who can YES create with the mind on pu...

So I have been called Courageous one too many times to ignore it. So here I am going to dissect it from a real time moment. So looking at this moment I am within here. I am courageous in just speaking/doing because I am willing to walk a point ALONE. I am willing to speak up and say something because if I am ALONE within it I am okay. So that means if everyone turns their back on me, and I mean literally everyone, I will be okay and stand the point. Now the most dangerous point within this, is the fine line where you don't go into Ego, and don't cut yourself out from other people's support. So the basic SOLUTION to prevent this danger is to always listen to others and test out what they say. And trust in that testing process. And here is another danger, whether your testing out is a REAL testing out. So the danger is whether you fake test things out or don't have that rigor and self-honesty to really test out the truth/reality of things. So developing that habit/d...

Desire to make someone else Happy. I want to make someone else happy. My purpose is to make others happy. My purpose is to make children happy. My purpose is to make my children happy. My purpose is to make my wife, girlfriend happy. My purpose is to make my wife and children happy. If I lose my children and wife, then I have no purpose. I am purposeless, I am nothing, I feel sad and depressed. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make my purpose making others happy. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live for making children happy. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live for making my wife/girlfriend happy. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have my purpose to be the happiness of others. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel fulfillment and purpose from making others happy and so like me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do things, and change t...

I learned that I decide everything regarding to what I want, and what I do. This may seem stupidly obvious, but let me paint you a picture where you will most likely believe what you want is not a decision, that it is already just who you are. Let's start painting. So, Imagine you are a child, or young person, or just any person, whichever best fits this example for you. Imagine that someone asks you what do you want? Pick the example that makes sense for you, but I found that its true in every example. What do you want to eat? What do you want to do? What to do you want to do in Life? What do you want for yourself in the future? Etc... Now... Now... what is your first response? What is your answer? I bet you that you looked inside yourself to find the answer to the question. And that there was the answer. I have a question for you, where did that answer come from? Let me try again. Is what you want simply a part of who you are? Is what you want just your personality, your li...

I observed today that lying takes effort. I was lying today as part of what is required/expected in the system, which meant presenting myself in a desirable way in the eyes of the system. The little bit of lying I did was exhausting. I then observed and realized how pretty much 99% of the time, in the vast majority of everyday life in the system we are lying, and that we have practiced lying and that it takes effort, and that we end up tired and drained because of all the lying. I saw I was tired from what little lying I did. After time and practice I could get better at it, and less tired, but still I don't want to lie. Can you see where lying occurs daily? A pop psychology article pointed out how we lie throughout the day, where most people cannot spend like 5 minutes without speaking a lie, on average. So can you think of some examples of lying? How about when someone ask how you are doing? Do you tell the truth or do you lie? Do you just say, Im good, Im okay etc... Is th...

I have written about this topic many times. I may even have a blog somewhere that is titled who I am. But this time the question is, Who am I? as if someone else is asking this question. So to answer this question I am going to be answering another question. That is Why do I write this blog? So this blog is part of my commitment to become Life, through writing, sharing, and in the real world, living the words I have written in every day life. So it does take years, yes, 7 years in fact, of writing and application in every day life, to truly change yourself on every level, dimension, nugget, and speck of yourself. So why I write the way I do right now? Well, I have had a journey in itself in writing my blog. You can see over the years how my writings has changed. That is because who I was within it, has changed. Before I was brand new, meaning I was full of fears, self-judgment worry, self-conscious, thinking about what others would think or say, etc... Now, I walk my process in ...

I listened to the Eqafe interview The world is what I say it is - Life Review, and I was reminded of something I did earlier this week. So if you know Bernard, and if you don't you can start to know him through his words on the blog: Creations Journey to Life. So if you know Bernard, well, I didn't know him personally, but I did read much of what he shared online, and we did chat a few times. Well, we were chatting, and he was asking why I had stopped writing some series of blogs and I told him that I thought I was experiencing or becoming something harmful. So he said that all thoughts are lies. So I am the kind of guy where if you give me a rule or statement I will test it out. So this past week I lived that statement, by reminding myself that whenever I would be thinking something about me or someone else or about anything, how what I thought about, was a lie. I bring this up because this life review I just listened to reminded me of that. So this life review was about...

So for me, I know that the number of blogs I write is unimportant. Well, from another perspective, even just writing out the shit out in my blogs, will help me to see the shit. However, what I am trying to say is that ultimately, what matters is what I write. I can write 1 million things, but if those things are not self-honest. Then it means nothing. However like I said, that even writing out 1 million things that are self-dishonest, will help for when I do ultimately stand up. Because for myself I can see when I am writing shit, and when I am writing honestly. That is why writing, with self-forgiveness, is always a benefit, even when it is self-dishonest. If you think I am supporting self-dishonesty, get a chill pill. Haha. When I write, I don't give a hoot about how I am affecting a person, because I know you are affecting yourself really. I do at times avoid leading to reactions, but I mean, if you have been reading my blog, it is to learn about yourself, so here you can learn ...

The fear and desire of receiving attention on my blog. I feel fear and desire when I write on my blog, because I know or have seen in the past that people read, see, or visit my blog. Within a moment of seeing the statistics of the number of views on my blog posts, I feel excited and energetic. I feel happy, thrilled and enthused to see this. Within the moment of writing on my blog, I feel tired, resistance, fear, stressed, that I just don’t want to do this THOUGHT. I feel like running away and avoiding writing on my blog at all costs . So I stop and I breathe   I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel fear when I write a blog post that will go on my blog, A Behaviorist’s Journey to Life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel desire when I write a blog post that will go on my blog, A Behaviorist’s Journey to Life. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to receiving attention from people....

When I am aware of the email the professor from the university might have sent me, I feel nervous. When I look inside I see that I am really afraid of not completing my life goal of making a difference with my life in how the human is. Right now that is through becoming a researcher and I am afraid I may have compromised my relationship with this one particular professor. I realize that being a researcher is just one way I can make an effect on the human. And I am willing to accept that perhaps no one will use my research or that despite anything I do, I might not make an effect in the human. Ultimately the only person I can make an effect on with 100% certainty is with my self. And I realize now too how children are the only other ones that may change, as they are still developing at an early age. So the solution that I see for me is to stop seeking recognition or a point of satisfaction from having changed or influenced others, children or adult humans,   beca...

Working with others can be very difficult. For me, I often become a different person than when I am alone. One thing that is easy for me to forget is that I am always alone with myself. I prefer to be this person always, because I am standing by myself always. I have not been myself for the last 9 months. I took myself to the metaphorical sacrificial altar to sacrifice myself in the name of the money system, in order to sell myself out, to "know who I am" according to a position in the system of money or education. I highly do not recommend sacrificing yourself. You lose everything and more. You become blind, deaf, and senseless all at once. To others you appear happy. Indeed, it is the only way to cope with the betrayal.It became a free-for-all for the systems of the mind. As I write this I am forgiving all the charges I see that I have placed on my words. So, one thing that has happened is that my words have received positive and/or negative charges. I have a tendency to sa...

I am very confused. I do not like what I am feeling, or what I am participating in. But I am doing it anyway. Why? I feel like there is something inherently wrong with me. That I cannot do anything. I question whether I am just playing the victim. Am I? Why would I accept and allow this, why would I accept and allow such a hell for myself? There is something that I believed I could not do on my own- and I asked the mind for help. Now within participating with a group I am living this statement, however I have always existed in a group, everyone does; we all effect each other in every moment. I feel like I may just be ranting to get attention. Is this true? Do I just want attention from people, where I generate energy from attention and feel good? Within me I am feeling a response- energy building up and it feels pleasant- so I interpret this as a clear Yes. SO what now? SO obviously if I just run away, and If I were to come back I would still have the same react...

--> I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resent my responsibility to act and do what is best for all always. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be absent from my responsibility to always do what is best for all. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate my responsibility to do what is best for all. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to kill my responsibility to myself and all life as myself, to always carryout what is best for all, always. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore what is best for all when a moment presents the opportunity to do what is best for all. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fight with reality as an equal as myself, to not work with myself as reality to bring about a world that is best for all. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire a woman’s touch more than my commitment to stand as what is best for all life...