Yogan's Journey to Life

  Sleeping Dreams The following paragraph is what I perceived/believed. I had to write this out, before I can analyze and reflect what is it that I perceive/believe, so that I can receive a deeper understanding on the greater consequences and really what it means to live what is best for me/all as it pertains to the living action of dreaming and sleeping.   Dreaming is good because it reveals who I am, deeper suppressed parts. I get access to myself when I dream. Dreaming is also a limitation because I don’t have full control. It would be nicer if I could access those same parts but when I am awake. In dreams I generate emotions and/or feelings. If I have feelings in a dream I tend to sleep more and attempt to not wake up. If I have emotions I tend to want to wake up. Dreaming is an action. It is time spent in real space/time to perform some action with some result. The question is whether that time spent is worth that action/result. I would say no, simpl...

--> So here, I will be taking on a "new" point. The last two blog posts will be continue to be developed as part of a DIP assignment and will eventually be posted again, but with more deeper insight into the situation (me).  Ok- so the suicide character.  I give up, I don't want to live anymore; Life is too hard; why me? God oh why!? Feeling apathetic, emptiness, low energy. A craving for excitement, feelings, something to fill the gap the emptiness that oneself has created through acceptance and allowance of fear.  I made fear into a big deal, a big thing. When its just fear. Its no more than another reaction. The fact that for thousands of years man has been controlled and manipulated by fear is quite startling when considering that it originates within SELF. We are the ones that feel fear. There is no one that is inserting fear within you. It is all in the mind.  I feared changing and becoming responsible for all/this existence. Behav...

--> So one prevalent point I have, especially on the weekends, is sleeping in. I am writing this in response to the forum thread, Only 4 -6 hours of Sleep Required? . So sleep and I have had an interesting history. I remember if there was like an emergency or great need to wake up like to head to the airport, I was able to wake like in a second though in a slight daze. I also used to before going to bed I would say I would sleep until a certain time in the morning and I would wake then. Thought of waking in morning, lol. The Heaven = Hell             So now in my current situation, I am a student studying who needs to be in charge of his study(and so sleep too!). I am writing separately a point on scheduling which will assist me in my setting my sleep pattern. So im going to just as a support see what excuses or reasons I have to go to bed early or to sleep in. Then I will establish a new pattern of sleep. ...

--> This morning I had an interesting revelation, that I have employed punishment and reward in many if not all of my actions. Its like a feeling, which is biologically based and self-created. I know its self-created and even automatized because I can stop and no longer punish and reward myself for said actions, at least within these moments here.             I notice that the same behavior has been conditioned to punishment and reward, such as sleeping in my bed, where I find it aversive or punishing to wake up and get out of bed. Within trying to do so I find it rewarding or reinforcing to immediately lay down and sleep again once I sit up to get out of bed. But within this moment I did not allow myself to do this. Instead I focused on the sounds of the outside morning which I found rewarding.             So my morning was like this, I was realizing how pretty much...