Yogan's Journey to Life

RISK Author unknown  To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.  To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.  To reach out to others is to risk involvement.  To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.  To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.  To love is to risk not being loved in return.  To live is to risk dying.  To hope is to risk despair.  To try is to risk failure.  But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to do nothing.  The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.  They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.  Chained by their attitudes, they are a slave, they forfeited their freedom.  Only the person who risks can be free This above poem was written in the old desteni forum. Dont know who wrote it. But it was significant for me, so I saved it. I am in a position where I don't ...

So the Megaman legends game was a great game. I played it as a kid in the 90s on playstation. I revisted it, and reason why it made it an impact was not the appearance of the characters, the visuals: it was FAMILY and the Goodness/Realness of the people, even though real people in real life are far worse, and far more corrupted. There is something it has in common with many animes where it has that sense of FAMILY, and community, where a group of seeming strangers are actually all united and are friendly, kind and supportive. I know putting words to it already can muddle things, but the point here is that what makes a character great, or something great is actually the same across many mediums. What makes one person great is not how they look, or how they talk. Its not their accomplishments, or money. Its not their skills or ability or power. Its who they are, how they see you, how they see others, and who they are in relation to you and everyone. And that how reflecting that equalit...

In the past I have understood perfectly well that all Fear is unacceptable. I would explain it as a point where People say that you need fear in order to protect yourself from something like burning you hand on the stove. So you fear burning yourself. People would say such things, and call it good. So this is unnecessary because what I would say in response is that we can KNOW that our hand will burn and so we don't need fear. Like we won't be burning our hands on stove because we have no fear within us. So what I say is the truth, and the basic truth is that human beings have mind consciousness systems that are producing thoughts, feelings and emotions- and are completely directing what people should be doing, deciding, thinking and believing. And your experience of yourself is like you are watching a movie and you are following what arises within you like watching a movie. So fear to me is something that is more obvious to me, at least in the past, when I say all fear ...

I am standing up to my mind, and I am standing up to myself. I suppose it is something like Gandi because he advocated non-violence. So I am standing up to my mind in a non-violent way, and so also a non-aggressive way. I am not angry at my mind, I am not resisting it. I actually let it play out a little bit in my head, but within doing so I am clear in who I am, and what I am doing in the moment, and what I am directing. I am clear that the goal is to stop the energies and stop the thoughts/mind through Understanding and Self-forgiveness within Understanding my responsibility of how I created any specific mind system I am being faced with. So I am committed to stop the feeling/emotions. I am committed to stopping the positive reactions and the negative reactions. I am committed to really release the mind systems and to do so within Understanding the How that I created the particular mind system I am faced with. Through understanding me, through understanding my mind and the story...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not knowing what to do and so try to listen to others, and look to others to direct me, instead of listening to myself and who I am, and so living who I am, no matter the situation. Time to listen to the voice Inside of me. Time to step out of the closet. Time to live Me, Yogan in everything I do, instead of Living someone else or something else. So no matter the situation, apply the Me, the who I am, the Principles, and what I, Yogan, would do. Ask what would I do? Standing/Existing as that Inner Voice So I wrote the above this morning after doing self-forgiveness. I just uploaded a youtube video on this inner voice, and can be seen here: https://youtu.be/WNEfqQCHH98 My Inner Voice... its funny that I saw Westworld and it came down to the point of the Inner Voice. The Robots in the end, found their inner voice.  So what I saw this morning was how my being, my inner voice, is here alwa...

I one time saw something small running through the neighborhood while walking my dog. It was evening already, so it was a dark shadow. I had walked up to it and got scared and freaked out, as well as my dog equally freaked out. I realized it was a kitten and it ran under the fence of a house. I took my dog back and told my brother. I asked for his help. I grabbed a soft towel. We proceeded over there. The kitten ran away under the fence again when my brother tried to grab it. I left a note there for the owners of the house. I doubt the kitten was there since it was hanging out by the fire hydrant on the sidewalk. I came back later and tried again that night. This time we surrounded slowly with the towel, and I was able to quickly/gracefully pick it up securely with the blanket. I held it snug/firm. It seemed happy hanging out there. It wasn't struggling or moving at all. I walked back immediately to our house. I did get a call the next day by someone from the house. It wasn...

So I have been working on this Mind Design earlier in the week. It is massive. It has many interconnected parts that form something of a conspiracy theory because each part rested on another part, and fitted so nicely with the other. I could do something of a lecture of explaining all the various parts and how they fit together. For now though I'm going to continue with what I have been doing which is just sharing a part of it. A bitesize piece. So within what I am looking at, there came up this interesting point. With Friends I can see something like their presence in the room, where if I close my eyes I can know it is them. This feels hard to explain. Let me start again. Each person has a presence, and with some people it is extremely clear what their presence is. And their presence as their expression is so strong that its not defined by their image/appearance of their body. It is something like their nature or way of being. Or something like the way that they choose to expr...

My day was really fucking good. I did some exercise walking around and strengthening my back. I read outside in the sun. I am understanding the material I an learning. I read some more. I participated in chats. I watched a movie. I worked on myself in going to heart of what I need to learn in order to improve myself and me in my relationships to people. So I am advancing and going deeper. I am learning and realizing. I feel quite strong, and connected to my body. I want to strengthen that connection to my body even deeper. I want my voice to embody the sound of my body, to be more visceral. I want the presence of the body to come through the sound of my voice. I want to change more and do more. I want to go deeper than I have gone before. I want to see the heart of what this is. I want to see what expression will emerge and radicalize my life, and dramatically change it. I know what the area I want to improve. I am right at the precipice  of changing it. I am walk...

Talking with People, just learning about them should be normal. It is normal, just we may find it strange when it hasn't happened in so long. Like learning about someone, about things that may seem like insignificant facts from a certain point of view, can also seem from a certain point of view a Treasure Trove of words and experiences never seen, heard, or felt before. Maybe its about where someone has lived, that you never visited before or been to before. Maybe its about what someone does in their daily life, which tends to be their work/job and responsibilities. Maybe its about a person's interests and hobbies, what they know how to do, and what they do in their free time. Things, experiences, words, music you may never hear of otherwise. It can be simply hearing and understand what kind of a person a person is. Or it can be relating and sharing your own similar experiences, meeting someone who went through something similar or the same as you. It is just normal to just...

This blog, I'm going to be remembering and sharing something good, something I would like to. What's great about music/dance is the surprise moment in it. The moment requires your full attention! When you are dancing with someone in a partner dance, someone is leading and someone is following. BOTH! Have to pay attention. I have lead dances and so its not boring I have to pay attention and play with it. I play with the rhythm, the pattern of the music I am dancing to. The fun part is listening to the music, following the beat and then BREAKING IT, and then going back INTO IT, and matching the beat, and then SURPRISING the person your dancing with. Are they HERE???  Are they paying attention? Can they FOLLOW? If I go fast now can they match it. If I go SUPER SLOW can they match it. Will they get annoyed? Are they disciplined? Can they be here in the moment? All of these things are revealed when I lead. And if they are a great follower, then I can really enjoy dancing. I kn...

This blog is dedicated to all of the relevant self-forgiveness recently in my days. I forgive myself to have fear and hesitation to do what I see is best. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hesitate removing myself from a situation where I was reacting heavily, so that I may work on myself and then later returning to the situation. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry about the future, what will happen, what is outside of my control. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not live my gifts, my LIFE within me, my EXPRESSION, my art within me, my creativity, my beauty within, ...to not live it within my Life, within my reality, with me, with others when such doors open. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto excuses and limitations. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for death, or something to just happen to me, before I SEE what I HAVE, and who I AM, and what I can DO wi...

Ok so when I was coming here to write this post, I was preparing to say how I fear losing someone because of who I am, what I do/did. Now, however, I mean I have faced this point before, so this time I am facing it, it is rather a point of excitement, because I get to see who a person is, in response to who I am and what I did. Will they react? Will they stand? What? And I am excited more because there is a chance, a chance beyond all odds, all chances, that this person will stand. And that chance that possibility, that something real could manifest as a person here in the flesh, is exciting. So its not really an excitement, but really an anticipation to what is to come. You could say I am hoping they stand, because I want everyone to stand, and when they stand I feel like celebrating. And its just something amazing to marvel at for a moment. And it then reminds me of who I am, and my stand, and to see the same standing in another making the same stand as me, is just amazing to see. I...

Don't take your thoughts personally i have been taking my thinking personally. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take my thoughts to mean "who I am" as who I am cannot change. Within the principle of what is best for me, I write. I commit myself to write within this principle of what is best for me in this blog. What is best for me, includes establishing a world that is best for all. It includes forgiving myself for accepting and allowing what is less than what is best for me. It includes becoming what is best for me. And what is best for me is to live in a way that is best for everyone including me by practically considering every part, including me, without compromising any part, including me. How I treat myself is how I would treat existence. So by taking care of me and supporting me, I am stating that how I would treat existence would be with the same care and support. So who I am here is a gift, an opportunity to take care of something th...

Judging sucks. Where have I judged? I judge those who speak trash about  Desteni related things as inferior, instead of realizing that they simply do not understand what it is they are doing, and the opportunity they are not gifting themselves to stand within self-responsibility and self-forgiveness. Is man inherently good? I would say maybe man inherently wants what is good, but get confused between good for only me, versus good for all and me. Man forgets that the good of all is always greater, and the experience of living in a world of oneness and equality would be so great, because your rejoicing and enjoying everyone, and there are billions of us! And you can be here with yourself and be at peace with yourself. The state of being alone and being with others merge, where all equally honors themselves and each other. Open honesty and clarity can exist. This is our desteni. Join us. I forgive myself for accepting adn allowing myself to fear the unknown. I forgive myself for ac...

So one thing I have been participating in, is energy in my words, and specifically negativity. I play myself out in a negative way. How I feel right now is tons of energy. Now, one reason why I am not stopping is because I seem to be addicted to talking about myself to others. And I perceive writing right now as if I am talking about myself. So this is the primary point, writing and generating energy within writing about myself. And so I am not stopping the energy. SO I remember as a child, I would share myself with my mother. And when I would share a realization to her, I notice I would immediately forget what I had realized and sometimes I would actually do the opposite of what I realized not to do. The nature of the realization was to better myself. To acquire some perspective or knowledge that was making me more aware. Yet within sharing it I became less aware. I notice I would feel great within sharing. I see now a connection with the thought pa...

In general, I have not been expressing myself clearly with my words. I feel afraid of writing and speaking clearly. I also am afraid of knowing why I feel afraid of writing and speaking clearly. I am afraid of writing and speaking clearly because I would have consider the perspectives of others. In doing so, I would no longer be able to stay in my little bubble. I would have to actually consider each person in the world as an equal. I would no longer be the king/god. I would be equal. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize I am the thoughts I accept and allow. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be practical and realize that the process of stopping the mind takes time and it won't happen in an instant. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing relationships as the result of what I say or write, within this realizing that what I say and write should consider practical reality and what would assist and sup...