Yogan's Journey to Life

 Love.  I know there is a place that I just wont go. And when I try to go, I shutdown. All the motivation and hoopla that I muster in order to get me there, just fades away. Just drops, I drop. And then I can't move an inch anymore, and I drag myself back to the things to pass the time, until I try again.  There's a really cool series of videos did, where essentially bernard was explaining the basic resonance pattern that every human is living, which is love. And he shows how every single person will inevitable choose love over everything else. Unless of course that resonance, that impulse is changed in ourselves, so we no longer feed, or go after that love. Love is the reason the hippies failed. That revolutions today fail because love has been stuffed in our faces in every way. link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GQKiYTroY0 So looking at me, I can see how thats the case. How in being this revolutionary radical this past decade, has been put to a fizzle due to love. Th...

RISK Author unknown  To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.  To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.  To reach out to others is to risk involvement.  To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.  To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.  To love is to risk not being loved in return.  To live is to risk dying.  To hope is to risk despair.  To try is to risk failure.  But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to do nothing.  The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.  They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.  Chained by their attitudes, they are a slave, they forfeited their freedom.  Only the person who risks can be free This above poem was written in the old desteni forum. Dont know who wrote it. But it was significant for me, so I saved it. I am in a position where I don't ...

 My self-forgiveness and self-honesty are no longer effective, not for a while. And I aim to fix that. One of the things that is constantly in my mind while writing a blog and self-forgiveness online is others who are reading it. I am thinking about how it will affect others, and how they will react to it. I am worried about how it can inadvertently affect others, in ways that don't seem obvious. And I have this painful intuition on my body that responds when I do things. I am really in a fucked up situation. Its like I am scared to live. Cause I had my heart broken. Which is what has happened before several times in my life. Except this time it was my deepest wishes and desires, of friendship, camaraderie, sharing, openness, community. It was my faith in humanity, the goodness of others. That being said, its not your fault or their fault. That is who we are now, we are quite messed up, evil mother fuckers, quite demented, quite broken, quite sadistic, ruthless etc...  I remem...

There is a very interesting mind system that seems best described as a personality within me. The reason why personality is because its basically like a person or has a personhood to it. It has a flavor and it has a presence to it. And its a personality within me because its like Dr Jekyll and Mr.Hyde, its something hidden, and when it is here it is like I am a different person. The reason why I am making it seem so dramatic or so extreme is because it is. Because when I started to open this up really, I was suprised/shocked yet at the same time not, that I was laughing and smiling about things which I would never do. So what I am saying is that its not something I was conscious of, to extent of being fully aware enough to even say it exists, or even say it is how I am describing today/now/above, like with the words of it being a personality within me, it being like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I didn't see it like that at all. Until now. What is interesting is now I have that awar...

Bernard was a living word. His words, what he spoke, what he said: it was living; it was alive; it was life. I need to become my own living word. Meaning that I need to speak and say and live in such a way that my words are alive, are life; reflect that I am alive living one and equal with this existence, with this body, with this self, with everyone. While reading Bernards words are supportive: it comes a time when you simply must become the living word yourself: and that means speaking and writing in such a way where you are not THINKING at all, where it just FLOWS, and it just POURS out out of you and it is within the starting point of Life, of Oneness and Equality with Existence, standing in the shoes of every person in existence, and so reflecting what is best for all for every person. It is speaking with the authority that what you are saying IS what is best for all, IS what is best for existence, such that if you were on a podium and the entire existence was watching you and...

So the secret mind is something that came up from desteni years ago. And today it came up within me as a support/explanation for what's been going on with this part of me. So my original idea of the secret mind was that it consisted of those thoughts that you were secretly holding on to. With what I have been going through, the secret mind was the perfect set of words to explain to me how I could be having these thoughts that I have been having and not stop them. The definition I am using for secret mind now are those set of thoughts that I haven't embraced/accepted to be of the mind and requires just immediate stopping/recognition that this is the mind and isn't me. So I have had a whole range of thoughts that are like that: thoughts that I haven't accepted to be completely thoughts of the mind. The way I was looking at how this could be is the following. So you know you start walking process and you know what thoughts and emotions and reactions you want to stop....

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not knowing what to do and so try to listen to others, and look to others to direct me, instead of listening to myself and who I am, and so living who I am, no matter the situation. Time to listen to the voice Inside of me. Time to step out of the closet. Time to live Me, Yogan in everything I do, instead of Living someone else or something else. So no matter the situation, apply the Me, the who I am, the Principles, and what I, Yogan, would do. Ask what would I do? Standing/Existing as that Inner Voice So I wrote the above this morning after doing self-forgiveness. I just uploaded a youtube video on this inner voice, and can be seen here: https://youtu.be/WNEfqQCHH98 My Inner Voice... its funny that I saw Westworld and it came down to the point of the Inner Voice. The Robots in the end, found their inner voice.  So what I saw this morning was how my being, my inner voice, is here alwa...

So I took a neutral photo to see where I am at. Now, a neutral photo could be like an amazing face, a really nice smile, but this is not, because I am going through points. So lets look at the points. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the future, to fear what's coming next I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  fear something bad is going to happen, to be on edge. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the next corner, the next chapter, the next turn on the river I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  worry what's going to happen in my relationships with people I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear seeing some people go and leave I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  fear losing people I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to conflict, and fighting, yelling and screaming I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  be ...

I want to do daily blogging. The solution I see is just to do 15 minutes blogging. So its short, but consistent. And I just write on what self-forgiveness I already did today. ~~ I had jealousy. I didn't want someone to have close friends. So I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be Jealous of the close friendship of others. ~~ I heard the dark, raspy voice of a female customer service person. It sounded attractive. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find raspy voice attractive. ~~ I placed people here as me, Deep. I looked inside into the deepest depths to see if there exists  ANY reaction to a person. I saw yes. They made fun of how I walk. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame them for making fun of me I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame someone for what they do. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame someone for what they say to me I forgive myself for accepti...

So I have been called Courageous one too many times to ignore it. So here I am going to dissect it from a real time moment. So looking at this moment I am within here. I am courageous in just speaking/doing because I am willing to walk a point ALONE. I am willing to speak up and say something because if I am ALONE within it I am okay. So that means if everyone turns their back on me, and I mean literally everyone, I will be okay and stand the point. Now the most dangerous point within this, is the fine line where you don't go into Ego, and don't cut yourself out from other people's support. So the basic SOLUTION to prevent this danger is to always listen to others and test out what they say. And trust in that testing process. And here is another danger, whether your testing out is a REAL testing out. So the danger is whether you fake test things out or don't have that rigor and self-honesty to really test out the truth/reality of things. So developing that habit/d...

I had the chance to open up intimacy as an expression within myself, and something interesting opened up within that. So I had recognized that what I was experience was Intimacy and I had a question about what is this? So I decided to look inside myself and check. As a TIP, when I look inside myself if I have trouble what I can do to help me is to tilt my head down with the intention of kind of like looking inside me. So in this moment I saw that I felt good in my torso area and i felt pain in my arms and legs. It took me a little bit of time to double check and keep rechecking because it was rather strange to see how I felt something negative as pain in my arms and legs as energy, and I felt good in my torso, starting from where my legs and arms end meeting the body. So the torso includes the waste, chest area, head too. The Intimacy experience in my torso didn't fluctuate as energy so much, whether it actually was or wasn't didn't matter in the moment, because I could cle...

I am a Thief! I stole something today. There was a part of me that was within a Word, within my mind, and I stole it from my mind today. I suppose though that since it is a part of me, that I already owned it. Yet I didn't own it. So YES I STOLE IT. And I would do it again too.  Lol. So this part of me, was within the word God, and it permeated into my responsibilities. And this part of me is me taking care of my responsibility in a disciplined, direct, shall I say cut-throat? Manner. So I recognize that this is a part that I lived in my life and I lived it in relation to something/someone outside of me, God for example. I did a write up, and I wrote down the facts, and what I understood, and as I went along describing how it works within me, and the context/situation, and how I change, I ended up with a really nice picture and understanding. I won't go into the detail unless I see a good reason to. So the focus right here is on that I took this expression, you could s...

So if you read my title, well... it is an odd/strange title isn't it? Haha. So yes indeed, I didn't write yesterday. Why? Well, it turns out I have some really good news. I am becoming busy! Work is coming my way now. An opening into the system, one that is clear defined, like a hole against a steel wall, I have made penetration, and I am thickening and deepening the hole. i am making it wider. What does this mean? When I penetrate deep enough, water is going to come rushing out. Work is going to come flooding my way. And its happening because I am making this hole count. So I am anticipating this to happen. A hole somewhere. So this does mean time will be more limited. I will be working more, so I will need to be resting more. Etc... Of course it doesn't mean I will stop writing altogether, because there will be pauses, moments between my schedule where I will have time, maybe because I scheduled it, or also by nature of the schedule for that week/day. So yesterday...

What is Actual Happiness? So I had the opportunity/gift to be in a complete mind/energetic state for several hours. And it did start from the Positive and go into the negative. I say this is a gift because I needed cross-reference and understanding that this was indeed positive feelings, which I was unsure about. I took this entire event and wrote it out, with the detail and specificity where I am confident that future such moments of positivity of any kind, including small moments, won't occur, because I will identify them for what they are, remember this pattern I wrote out, and stop them in the moment, which I have already started to do after having done my writing. So today, this moment, it will be about the Positive! Let me say first that to all new readers, note that the skills/tools I am applying were developed through Desteni and the Desteni Courses, which if you're interested in applying such points for yourself, sign up for the DIP Lite course at lite.desteni...

I went to Art Basel today in Miami, Florida. I was asked what interested me, or what art drew my attention. I didn't really have an answer to that question at first. But later after I saw a picture that had a message of equality, I had an answer. Art that interest me is the content of the art, the message, the why. Because art otherwise, without that content, core and message, is meaningless. Its just entertaining, emotional, or, frankly, superficial. Art to have meaning requires depth, and to have that depth requires a message or principle, essentially the depth of your real being, which is your oneness and equality point, your connection to Life itself, to everyone. If you lack that point, what you do will be empty and superficial, not just art, but everything. So its important to see that yes, art CAN have that depth, through standing for a principle, the integrity of you, standing with and as everyone. Because what is art, but just a medium of communication. Writing is a...

I am writing on another point for the purpose of bringing my attention to it, and incorporating it within myself. So someone spoke this point, and I was familiar with it, however it was like something novel because I had forgotten about this point. Everyone can be successful and achieve success. Everyone can be intelligent. Everyone can be a winner. Everyone can be a millionaire. Everyone can have it all. Everyone can achieve happiness, the real one, because we all already have the deluded one. So those words say it all, there is no real competition and the people around us are not really the competition. The only competition, if there was one, is ourselves, and it is an artificial an illusionary competition, since it is often created as a resistance within us. At the same time, competition can be lived as a word of self-support, within the knowledge and acceptance that everyone else can too achieve the same results you have, and that you can also achieve the same results others ha...

 Hi, I am writing another blog for the purpose of solidifying a point within me, similar to this blog http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/08/are-you-walking-process-to-make-friends.html So the word is stand. STAND S-T-A-N-D I stand in the position of myself, body, the physical position and location that I occupy in space and time. No one can occupy the space that I occupy in this moment. That is the true meaning of being unique or an individual. Someone can take an exact copy of me, even of my awareness, but only one of us can occupy one space at one time. To visualize this for yourselves you can look at an oxygen atom. It is identical to all other oxygen atoms in property, size, shape, however it is unique because only it can occupy where it exists in any moment. In relation to the word stand, I of course stand within physical space, however I also require to stand within myself, as my mind, you can say regarding where I stand on certain, issues, decisions ...

This blog is unconventionally structured for today. For today, I will be taking my past realizations for the last three blogs, and writing out commitment statements reflecting those realization, for the purpose of living these commitment statements in my everyday life. As a promise to myself, I will check in within a week to see how my living of these commitments statements are. I realize that, as someone I know said, fear is stupid! - I realize that it is strange I have memories of imaginations of me dieing in various ways, which I feel nervous or fearful when just the an association is present in my environment that triggers those memories - I realize that my mind is built like a machine, but I don't wish to any longer live according to the mind, for that reason - I realize that fear is one example for me as how things in the mind happen so quick and so outside of my awareness - See more at: http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/#sthash.7XdV9K7O.dpuf I realize tha...