Yogan's Journey to Life

Self-forgiveness and commitments pertaining to this post http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-22-self-forgiveness-and.html So in my private writings I had opened up the point of relationships and how I seek relationships to relive an experience of bliss when my parents were in love and I thought I felt love from my parents. Which of course, is an experience within me and so has nothing to do really with my parents but with me. I bring this point up because I am looking at a point that opened up where I see myself as better or more if there is a woman who is standing by me, so to speak. Which is very not cool that because something outside me is different, who I am changes. So I see desire to manifest this point of relationship and I see I fear losing this point, not attaining this point, as I fear who I am without this point, and so in this way fear my own fear. I have to become comfortable with me first to get to know me first before embarking on any relationship, wh...

see my video, where i read this post outloud.  Point: getting nervous when I think someone is listening to me play on the piano.  Note: this a continuation of Day 18 -I played the piano tonight Another dimension I can consider is the moment I decide to play the piano. I had in this particular context, Sunday night, felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I was reacting emotionally that snowballed from a particular event. The ‘event’ was a moment of fear of having to face beings intimately and so face conflict. Why conflict? Because the world is a mess, and most beings have the opinion that the world is fine or good, or they fear taking responsibility for the mess, which all really is responsible. Now, what is interesting about this is I am creating conflict because I am expecting conflict and to find something that is not what I expect I would be surprised which would mean I am unprepared. So bottom line, stop creating the world as it is through the expectation the world w...