Yogan's Journey to Life

 What Life is is everyone/all. And so Life does come first before any individual. At the same time you are equally important as Life. So what it comes first before is typically the Ego. So Life becomes first before you as ego or anyone else as ego. But Life as you equally comes first.  When you say how Life comes first, the egos will react. The egos will fight, they will say they feel insult, and they will attack you verbally. Because the egos places itself first, not Life first.  So having the Bravery and willingness to stand up and say what is needed to be said so that Life may be supported, and do what needs to be done so that Life may be supported, is critical. That is when living is real, when it is taking into action. I can feel the fear of what its like standing up. And as well the fear of facing someone aggressive and borderline violent. Violent with their words, and with their threats. Yet Life must stand unmoved. Life must come first. It may very well be the cas...

   There is this Challenge with Being in this World. Who we are, the entirety of who you really are, is here accessible for you to see. It requires accessing your entire self in a moment, what sums you up as a person. You can access that point in a moment. The thing is that most of us, like all of us really, are existing in a level of ignorance, where we don't want to be aware of who we are.  The Challenge is simple, to know who you are, change who you are as those parts of yourself that are not best for all, into what is best for all. And by each of us doing this, we each become what is best for all, and together we stand as what is best for all. Simple.  For the eons and the ages there have been people who have been pointing to this Know Thyself point. So basically this is the Challenge and it is quite challenging, and we have not succeeded yet. We are reaching a point where consequences that have been accumulating will finally come to fruition. So that means a gre...

  Death is quite the topic to look at. I think its because of the mystery of it. We don't really know for sure what will happen when we die. I mean you can have beliefs about it. You can even listen to what others say about it. But all of those are still words or belief. To actually go through it... Its like the first time being in love in a relationship, or having sex, or your first breakup. You don't know until you really go through it.  I see death as being something very important. It serves a very good purpose. Because in order for new life to arrive, other life must leave. That way it maintains a balance and prevents overpopulation. It is also important because it does put an end to things. And having that expiration also makes us care more and gives more value to our actions. It also gives others the chance after we fail for example. 100 years from now there will be new people here. Completely new. And I like that. I like that is how the Earth is.  It also means a ...

When I look into my body, I see tension. Why is there tension? Because of I am thinking of other people. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about other people. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be focusing on me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about how I am perceived by others. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about how others would respond to me. Is there anything else inside of me? More tension. Why is tension here? I think about failure. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about my failure in my goals. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about the failure in having an impact. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about the failure to have the impact I set out to do. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I am a failure. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to t...

What am I afraid of? I am afraid of all of my close relationships becoming hostile. I am afraid of everyone I know becoming aggressive toward me. I am afraid of an "intervention," where everyone agrees and believes something about me that they have decided I have to change or else. I am afraid of being threatened with banishment, or being kicked out. I am afraid of being forced to change. I am afraid of the threat of being without support in reality. I am afraid of the threat of physical violence. I am afraid of the threat of being killed/murdered. I am afraid of defending myself and fighting violently. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of all of my close relationships become hostile I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of everyone I know becoming aggressive toward me I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of an intervention of me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to f...

I have found within me a point of placing parts of myself, my expression, my visions, my living words, simply parts of myself within People and Objects in my Life. So it sounds similar to the Horcruxes that Voldemort used in Harry Potter. And I suspect that unconsciously that point was picked up and written in that story because it reflects something real. I suspect that this is something we all do. So what this means is that parts of myself is defined within the relationship to that person/object. For example lets say the willingness/eagerness to socialize with people and communicate/share is defined within one person in my life. So I have all these various parts of myself that is defined within people and objects in my life and what that means is that if something happens to that person/object than it can feel like I lost something, like I lost a part of myself. Have you ever seen yourself go through such a thing or seen others go through such things? It seems to me to be something...

What is it that matters in Life or to Life? What is it that matters? What is the core purpose or meaning to Life? Many people have asked this questions over the eons of time and generation. Many have died throughout this time. There were also many that did live before they died. Where are all on different points in Life, with different families, backgrounds, power... Many of these things we were born into, yes we were. But its not about what you were given, either as challenges or gifts, but who you were with the life you have been given or born into. Will you turn challenges into gifts? We are all being tested in this way. We are all being challenged in some way. We all have something to learn, something to do, something to expand upon. What is the meaning/purpose to Life? I would say that whatever you DO with the Life you have, that becomes your meaning/purpose that you are living. Whatever you do and apply here, now, today, and then tomorrow and the next day is your Living Pur...

Recently I wrote out this phrase,  "When you are really faced with the Heat of yourself, the Darkness, and the Deceptive Light of yourself.... no one's motivation or words will be the saving grace.... its all you baby! haha. We need Self-Willed individuals.... and that process is like the formation of diamond. Its under a lot of pressure and takes time." And the specific words, the Heat of yourself is specific. It encapsulates and captures a very nice meaning, and real time moment with the Mind and reactions that I have lived and I'm sure humans everywhere have lived/faced. I would like to unpack this to bring attention to it, for it may assist others and its a very nice reference for that. I also will cover the solutions as well and taking responsibility as well. Facing the Heat of Yourself I notice that Heat is very much connected to two things you have Romance/Love, getting caught up in the heat of the moment... and also the moment when you are in a heated a...

Separation Anxiety There is someone I am separate from right now and its causing this separation anxiety. A commonly used word to describe this thing. Now, I immediately see it relates to me being a child, getting lost, separate from my mom in particular, and that fear of never seeing my mom again, and somehow being lost forever, whether that's due to being kidnapped, murdered, or dying accidentally while I am lost. I have had that moment as a kid where I am wandering in the supermarket and I try to find my mom, and have that thought and anxiety of never seeing her again, and then my heart starts racing, I start believing it, and I get scared and I start to frantically check all the aisles. Another was a memory at a carnival amusement park. Same thing. So this is something physical. Its in my body. I can feel it sitting here in my body as me as my body. These memories and these reactions are here in my body as me. The emotions, the energies, the experiences are sitting here as m...

I took a look at my photos of me across the years. I posted an album of such photos on facebook. I can see the change in me, in my very face. Before I was scared to express. I had trouble expressing my face. Then I started practicing. I did things. Like I shaved my head. I did it because our water supply is getting polluted by hair products and I wanted to bring attention to that. At the same time, I face my own perception of what i think others perceive as me. I freed myself through challenging myself. I sought challenge. I expressed my face. As I walked process, the desteni process, where I STOPPED emotions and Feelings, the negative and positive, and I started to EXPRESS myself through the physical, there are changes in my face that happened, changed in my expression. My expression has become more fuller, more confident, more settled. I know who I am. I like who I am. I like my face. I am going to miss this body after I die. I realize I will die, and that life is a gift. I rea...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fight for what is best for all. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use what is best for all as an excuse to generate emotions and feelings. Emotions and feelings are always unacceptable. If a person is screaming at you or yelling at you, and you react, it is still your responsibility. If you use screaming and yelling to get someone to stop, that is unacceptable. You can't use emotions and feelings for what is best for all. It's not possible. You don't have to worry about whether what you are doing or saying is leading to emotions and feelings in others. All you have to focus on is whether you are having any emotions or feelings. If are you able to create the most beautiful and perfect relationship using feelings, it is still meaningless. If you are able to make this world a utopia and bring order by using using your emotions, it is worthless. Anything and Everything "created" thro...

So I had a dream last night... a nightmare, which reveals something quite relevant and true which we all as people today may be going through in some way or another throughout our daily lives even if it may not be apparent or obvious at first. So how can a nightmare be something in my daily life? In my nightmare, there was this gigantic robot that's sole purpose and desire was to freeze human beings using his ice cold freeze ray. To essentially kill. Throughout the nightmare I was escaping the robot. This went on for a while. I was hiding in different locations and running into various people. I felt terror. I was running away trying to go to the least likely location that the mad killing robot would find me. At the end of my nightmare, he does find me when I expected to finally be safe. If felt like no matter how hard I tried or what I did, there was nothing I could do to run away, to change my fate, to give myself a different life, a meaningful life. I didn't have control o...

With certainty, everyone single one of us were once pure and innocent. This was at birth. We didn't have the personalities we live daily today. We didn't have a stressed personality, or depressed personality. We weren't running around trying to accomplish the work of the day in stress, or laying on the couch within depression. None of the emotions we participate daily existed at birth. At birth we just felt our bodies, we just existed. We just looked around, expressed ourselves through gurgling sounds. We moved and touched. So, our personalities were developed and created. They also didn't magically appeared as they are today in the version we have them right now. They evolved, they developed, they grew. They were built through moments of participation. So right now, we are alive and we have our personalities. And with equal certainty, just as you were born pure, I know that you will die. What I don't know is who you will be when you die. I can't say you will ...

Where and When to risk your life for someone. So the perspective I am about to give, is based within the point of measuring each person by whether they stand within principles and values that considers everyone/Life. Because such people would have greater value than someone who stands within disregarding everyone. And so, in essence, people who have greater value through who they are, should be safe guarded and protected above all others. And so when you see someone in trouble where you have to risk your life, you have to assess your own value and that person's value, along with any and all relevant practical considerations, and side effects. One example is children, since they are still in the process of developing themselves and are not as set in stone as adults in their ways. Also, to consider whether they are someone that is integral in some project or endeavour which grants them value. So all of this you would have to consider, and ideally be aware of BEFORE the life-thr...

What is Justice? http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/coroner-s-court/woman-took-her-life-on-day-she-was-due-to-be-evicted-1.2057107 Woman took her life on day she was due to be evicted   A woman found dead by sheriffs as they repossessed her home had overdosed on painkillers, an inquest has heard. the deceased’s father said he saw her on the Friday before she died and she was “perfectly calm, in top form”. He said that, if anything, her demeanor had “improved” in the previous three months. When asked by coroner Dr Brian Farrell whether her sister had mentioned the repossession, her sister said she had not. “I asked her multiple times, because I knew she was in and out of work, how she was paying it, if she was paying it and she was assuring me she had spoken to the bank. I had concerns. I asked her but she was convincing me all was fine,” she said.  ~~~  So do you see what happens when you don't have money? A woman was losing he...

This is about you. (no question mark) What is interesting is that everything is always about you. What you think, what you feel, what you see, your reactions, your movements, is you. Its about you. What you see on tv, the wars, the movies, the starvation, death, murders, stories, animal abuse, rapes, poverty, wealth, inequality,  its always about you. What you see is you. And if you close your eyes, the darkness you see is also you. When you run away, its you. When you hide its you. When you cry or complain its you. When you stand up and stop, its you. When you change its you. So no matter what, this existence is you, and every moment you are yourself.

Hey, so just to share, I have been creating a war within myself. Instead of picking the point that all would agree with: what is best for all... I have instead been perceiving myself as an individual that can be attacked on this point that, within this imagination of being attacked, I am really deep down, hiding points that I fear being exposed, because I fear that I may have to let them go for what is best for all. So herein I make the commitment to expose me completely, to question every point within me, to not react at what is existent within me and judge what is within me as bad, before I even get to expose it for myself. Bad, the word bad, or evil, can be put to good use, to serve what is best for all. It also can be used to cause separation. So within this commonsense perspective, words are innocent, including the word evil, and from my view, I cannot see a word that is not innocent. So we do in fact abuse words, whenever we do not use them as how they would want to be treated, t...

"Who and what I stand as, is a programmed system to enslave and control Man so you may never realise or know who you really are as pure life essence, as Man. This is who and what I stand as and I will take any and all necessary actions to ensure that Man as who you are as pure life essence never know or realise who you really are: Even if it means eliminating and destroying myself" http://desteni.org/a/consciousness-the-enslavement-of-man-by-consciousness Conciousness is evil. Consciousness is not best for all (here I use evil to refer to what must be stopped, because its evil).Evil is murder, rape, war, inequality, greed, anger, possession, thoughts, emotions, reactions, feelings, ego, desires, beliefs, anything and everything that does not start from oneness and equality. I longer accept and allow anything which supports inequality, that which is not best for all- this is a living statement of who I am. Practically, the road to manifest oneness and equalit...