Thursday, May 23, 2019

Day 725 Reacting to the Opinions of Attractive Men/Women

I am starting this Blog, with a Vlog... haha that rhymed!

See below:

So continuing on this point. I have seen how throughout my life, I very much cared about many women's opinion me and what they said to me or about me, cause of my interest in potential partners or women, since I am naturally aligned to desiring and being with a woman.

So I can see how past girlfriends how what they said to me, I took it to my heart, deep into my heart. If they had a criticism of me, I kept it deep here in my heart, like a scar. It is there. It stays there. And its alive, and sensitive like a fresh wound.

I remember one woman saying: Yogan! You don't know what you are doing! You want to change! But you haven't lived it yet!

I took that to heart. I didn't stop to consider it or question it, or look who I am in relation to it. I immediately believed it, and believed her. Cause I cared about her opinion about me. And it made me feel real bad. Very bad. Like I am bad. She is right, I am a liar, I am deceptive. I don't understand, I don't know.

So this scar has been here still. I have written about it, I have done self-forgiveness. And now in this blog topic here it is again, naturally. Maybe this will be the time. At the very least this is a new dimension of it, so that's quite good!!!

I can see how the very nature and basis of Flirting, is that of caring about others opinions, like an attractive woman or guy. Like when you approach your crush, you CARE about their opinion. How they respond, even in the slightest indirect way, can be DEVASTATING. It's interesting to see how flirting plays out between two people who are still new to it, amateurs at it. Because there with two young people they haven't created a method or way to flirt on purpose. They just do/become what they are in the moment. And who they are is caring about the others opinions. So You become awkward and not yourself. You become weak and insecure. You become reactive.

I find it highly interesting how in movies/shows the advice for guys to not care about women as a way to make them desire you. That is interesting. As that advice is a point that is framed as a BAD thing to do, as only bad guys are doing that, and that it is not sincere an genuine, and not what a good guy would do. Yet, the very point here of my blog and the solution is to stop the caring about how they view you. There is a difference though. So don't get confused here. The difference in movies/shows is that the bad guys are shown as disrespecting women and taking advantage.

In reality, not caring about their opinions is what is best in a Process wise way. Truly STOPPING, Truly ENDING the reactions. Instead of pretending and suppressing how you feel so you can take a advantage.

Still I think its quite interesting how that ended up in Hollywood. Since there is a promotion in the media of being Sincere and genuine with people you like, in that believing it will all work out for the good guy somehow. That is how it is framed and portrayed. The truth is different. In reality its promoting self-insecurity.

The Desteni process is about stopping the Mind, the reactions, the emotions and the Feelings. When you stop that, then you can create and direct yourself as what is best for all, as oneness and equality.

So I have been facing/walking this point about caring about a specific person because I as my mind, placed them as an interesting woman, for dating, or however else you want to put it. And within doing the self-forgiveness here, and stopping, it was clear that I was in energy. Caring about a person's view of you, taking that on as yourself, that means that you aren't being yourself. You are reacting to what they say. You are reacting about what you are THINKING that they are saying. You are reacting to what you are thinking their INTENT is, and what they must MEAN.

It is a lot of Drama. It is very sensitive, and volatile. And stopping that point is like the quiet after a storm. What's a major takeaway is that the Mind's System is a Frame. It is a recipe. It is a Frame with a seat in the middle that ANY woman/man can sit in that you find interesting. It can be a man/woman at the grocery store, as you walk by them. It can be a coworker, it can be a fellow student in your class, it can be anyone. You know it cause you suddenly change, and focus on how you look, how you are perceived, about how they move and act to you. You become subtle and hyper aware of your movements, what you do and say. And if you glance at them, you are giving them that self-value, and if they glance at you they are giving you that confirmation, and whether they smile or not.

Understand that this is the automatic system of procreation by the mind. It is your mind seeking that person out, and seeking that energy out. It is happening to everyone. It is a system inside of us. And if you were to actually take it all the way into a relationship with a person, then another system would come out. Or at the very least you are no longer doing the exact same thing. Or that who you are naturally with a friend may come out. Or who you are naturally with YOURSELF alone comes out. Which if you have a very nasty relationship with yourself, then yeah it won't be pretty later on when it comes out with your partner.

So for those who are new to the Desteni process, I just wanted to point the above out. WWW.DESTENI.ORG

 For me, what I need to do is to be able to stand now. My next step is to test myself out through time whether I have opened up the points enough, and whether I can direct myself every single time to make sure that I am being myself, and not reacting. Especially here when I get to know any woman whether I am FOCUSED on their Opinion of me and how I am PERCEIVED, and focusing on my SELF-IMAGE. Women are everywhere. Women who are dateable are everywhere. And so it is a daily process and application.

When it comes to actually approaching a man/woman you are interested in, the best approach seems to be direct in asking them whether you can get to know them, and whether they would like to get to know you, and then to actually be yourself with them, and making sure to stop your own reactions about this viewing/thinking about they are saying about you and their opinions whether it is Positive or Negative. In reality probably the person you are with is not walking the same process as you. So there is where it is tricky, and I won't claim I know how to navigate that because I haven't. All I can share what is best for SELF, yourSELF and know that who you are, the LIVING WORDS determine what you say, and what you do in the moment. But that is a whole other story/blog, which the info is out their in the desteni process if you want to look at it there already for yourself.

Freedom from negative self-image, freedom from an insecure, weak, fake self, Freedom from positive highs, and false positivity, Freedom from feeling shitty and becoming HATEFUL when someone you find interesting does something you perceive as disrespectful... that is what I am after. A real stable self that is me, that I can walk this Earth and speak/do what is best for all stably for everyone and myself.

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Day 724 Celebrate Those who are Better than You

When it came to comparing myself to others in where they are in their process. Meaning how "advanced" or "skilled" someone is...

well first off that idea is wrong already. Each person develops their own skill in a particular area of themselves... so there are differences, and different skills.

And secondly both time spent in process makes a difference. Obviously though those who have walked longer have more experience, because they spent more time at it.

When it came to the point of jealousy of someone who is more skilled than I, this is what I did.

I choose to see them as a teacher. I choose to make it a statement of celebration: "wow! that's great they have achieved this!!!! The world is better for it!!! They are better for it!!! And I am better for it!!! So it always a celebration when someone is super strong, super skilled, and advanced!" 

So with this perspective its always STUPID to react or think its bad that someone is super advanced or better than you at something, or anything. It can be process related, but this equally applies to ANYTHING in life.

Seeing/having this perspective of celebration also gave me the confidence to just be myself, and just speak the point. Because there is also WAS an embarrassment to be someone who SEES something and then directing it, cause of that implying that I am more advanced. There is a Humility that comes with immediately moving into a position of a student and learner. Always willing to learn and always willing to be wrong, YET always taking the self-responsibility to INVESTIGATE and NEVER FOLLOW. Desteni is not about people following. Desteni is about walking with as equals. We all need to stand as equals, equally taking the responsibility to CHECK and investigate.



Celebrate the fact that you have people who have been walking process for over ten years now that can support you to walk FASTER than they did. That is a blessing/gift. Be humble and LISTEN and test it out for yourself. Always test it out. Always. That is always what is self-honest. Test it out. Be willing to be wrong, and see directly the TRUTH and just be honest about it.

Monday, May 13, 2019

Day 723 Educational Material for Children

An educational Program for Kids:
either TV, Movie, Video, or computer program or both.


Do you want to learn about Electrical Engineering Click here!
What is Electricity? Voltage? How to build a generator? What are the parts? Where does energy come from?

How does the human body work? What are calories? What is the nature of everything?

How does an engine work?

How does insulation work?

What is heat?

How do the muscles of the body work?

How does memory work?

How does air work?

How does X-ray works?

How do microwave works?

How does color work?

How does the brain work?

How does the sun work?

How do plants work?

how does water work?

How does uranium work?

How does cooking work?

How does flavor work?

How to make the best tasting foods work?

What is fat?

How come in schools its not mandatory to learn about Everything how the World works, and how things exist? Especially that which is right here, and immediate in our lives.

Saturday, May 11, 2019

Day 722 My Inner Voice

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not knowing what to do and so try to listen to others, and look to others to direct me, instead of listening to myself and who I am, and so living who I am, no matter the situation.

Time to listen to the voice Inside of me. Time to step out of the closet. Time to live Me, Yogan in everything I do, instead of Living someone else or something else.

So no matter the situation, apply the Me, the who I am, the Principles, and what I, Yogan, would do. Ask what would I do?

Standing/Existing as that Inner Voice

So I wrote the above this morning after doing self-forgiveness. I just uploaded a youtube video on this inner voice, and can be seen here:

My Inner Voice... its funny that I saw Westworld and it came down to the point of the Inner Voice. The Robots in the end, found their inner voice. 

So what I saw this morning was how my being, my inner voice, is here always, except I haven't trusted it, I wasn't sure whether it was me or the mind. And whenever I would express it, and I wasn't sure the mind would have thoughts like: "I don't know what to do" "I can't do this" So literally bombarding me with self-doubt. And thoughts are like voice simulations. They are loud I suppose you could say. And my inner voice is just here, it is not a Thought, it is not really a VOICE at all like how thoughts are a simulation of a voice. My inner voice is just here as me, the truest deepest part of me. Inner voice though is still a cool reference for me, and it is my Being's Voice. It is what I, Yogan would do or say.

So the mind is a part of me, but its simulation is not my inner voice or my being. Just like my being is a part of me, and it is the inner voice of me. Like for example, I can go here and write with my inner voice, and it can SCAN or CHECK which words BEST convey what I am want to say. So this uses the Mind, as I am using LEARNED WORDS and checking to see what is the best word. Usually this flows easily and nicely, but sometimes it doesn't and so its very noticeably me stopping for a moment and finding the right word. 

So this above would be an example of me living with my Mind and Being, and applying both. 

So a moment or example where I am not expressing my inner voice and let my mind run rampant, is moments where I am saying something or about to say something, but then all these thoughts come up and memories come up, about what I am saying or would say. And so I edit/censor my words in the moment. I am UNSURE of what to say. I am UNSURE about what to do. And so I think things like I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!   

So in those moment it even goes to the extreme of LITERALLY one set of thought about what to say, followed immediately by another set of thoughts. So I already in such moments just gave in to the mind and let it decide what I should say. But even then, even the mind is like sending me multiple different thoughts at the same time! It's like even IT cannot decide, lol. But it looks like in those moments I was having multiple reactions on multiple different dimensions of myself at the same time, so each dimension was having their own say about what I should say.

And the emotional reactions I have been having of late, with the new environment and my future in my hands here, its been intense. Intense sadness, intense suffering, intense memories of my past, intensity all around. And it is noticeably and HERE within me, and I get caught up in it, and I don't know what to do.

Suffice to say, that this morning I did the only thing I know how to do, which is self-forgiveness. I walked it one point as a time. One thought at a time. One emotion at a time. I forgave and went on to the next moment. It is layered like an onion, so I only focused on the one Thought, and one Emotion that is here, that I can see when I check and look inside of me. 

This self-forgiveness did lead me to in essence FINALLY realize and see clearly who I am as my being's voice, which I called my inner voice, and who I am as the mind as the very vocal thoughts that have been accompanying me throughout my entire life. Finally can see the difference, and finally can see it and call it for what it is. Finally not having any doubts. Because I will be honest here, I have been here before. I have been here in the sense that I kind of knew I had an inner voice that was me, and my thoughts were the mind, BUT, I was always like: well is this REALLY the mind? Are thoughts REALLY the mind? Maybe it is Me as me being. Maybe it is me speaking. So never 100% SURE, never 100% willing to step off. So I had to walk a process.

Everything I have done so far has been my process. And this process has led me to this point. And I will be continuing my next process. So I had to walk the process. I had to see for myself and do the self-forgiveness NOW in the most difficult time in my life, with all these intense experiences, and this manifested and culminated as this clear seeing and understanding. That clarity is the gift, that trust is the gift, that history of what I walked is the gift.

And yet I have to walk it in real time. I have to walk the Trust and walk the Gift. It is merely a realization, one that can be lost if not applied. But what I do realize is that my inner voice and being can never be lost. It is always here. No doubt. And I know I can access it and live it whenever as it is right here in my chest. No matter the Noise of the Mind. No matter the Thoughts of the Mind. No matter the commotion or the chaos or the disruption of the Mind, this is Here, I am here, My who I am, my expression, the What I would do, is here.

 WWID: What would I do?

Even just now I had a sad thought/projection and I went into the emotion. So that is going to happen, I know it is, me going into the emotion, but then I immediately remembered and saw that that is not my voice, that is not Me, my being. So what I would EXPRESS and say in such a moment that is sad is NOT the emotion as sadness, but me, as who I am, the principle and ME as what and who I care about, and what I stand as. My Inner voice is always here, I just need to live it, and BE it, no matter the situation. No matter how strong it feels or how tough it feels. 

Friday, May 10, 2019

Day 721 A Kitten lived with me once

I one time saw something small running through the neighborhood while walking my dog. It was evening already, so it was a dark shadow. I had walked up to it and got scared and freaked out, as well as my dog equally freaked out. I realized it was a kitten and it ran under the fence of a house. I took my dog back and told my brother. I asked for his help. I grabbed a soft towel. We proceeded over there.

The kitten ran away under the fence again when my brother tried to grab it. I left a note there for the owners of the house. I doubt the kitten was there since it was hanging out by the fire hydrant on the sidewalk.

I came back later and tried again that night. This time we surrounded slowly with the towel, and I was able to quickly/gracefully pick it up securely with the blanket. I held it snug/firm. It seemed happy hanging out there. It wasn't struggling or moving at all. I walked back immediately to our house.

I did get a call the next day by someone from the house. It wasn't theirs.

So that night I kept him in my room. I knew one of my dogs would try to kill it thinking it was a rat. The other one was alright. She was more like a zen Buddhist monk, totally chill dog with whatever was happening.

At first in my room I let him go. I let him do whatever he wanted. He hid under my bed right away. I went and got milk in a small cup, like a shot glass. He would come out and look around and smell the milk. I told him to drink it but he would just smell it and stare at it, hovering right above it.

I finally dunked his mouth in the milk by pushing down and then he started licking it eagerly, now that he had tasted it.

He drank it all. I noticed his belly was quite round. Later on I learned that he had worms, and later on he would take a shit in one of my favorite shorts with all these spaghetti like things in the diarrahea poop. Good news is that the worms were out!

Anyway, so that first night he ended up hanging out with me. We did play, like I would use my hand and pretend my hand is like another kitten for him to play with. When he slept he would curl into a ball on top of me, and pinch me with his nails slightly. It did hurt.

He also would be very active at night, and would be quite restless. Probably too excited to be here and be alive. Later on I would feed him sushi initially. Cats love raw fish!

Eventually we got medicine for the worms, in case there were eggs. And he got kitten food designed to fatten him up cause he was skinny. He would also start to sit tall like a cat, kind of proud.

I remember teaching him to meow, and learning how cats only learn to meow from humans since they don't do that with cats at all naturally.

And also teaching him to use a litter box too. I made a box, and I would initially try to get him to use it, which he got eventually as I pointed to it and encouraged him.

He liked traveling around securely in a blanket/box. And feeling that sense of security/protection I gave him, knowing that he can just chill and be there, be himself.

While there were people encouraging me to keep him, I know I couldn't. Even the chance of my one dog getting him is too much, and its a responsibility I couldn't financially afford.

We sent him with a friend of a friend to a pet relocation up north.

I never liked giving him positive reinforcement. I never liked it when other people did that. Like talking in funny voices, and smiling and making positive statements/sounds. I preferred just recognizing him for who he is, strong, capable, steady/clear, without emotion.

I prefer showing care and living care then making sounds/statements that sound like you care but you won't actually commit and put the effort in.

Too many people LOVE kittens, puppies and babies, but WON"T recognize and let their AWARENESS to be open to the reality of the life of these animals everywhere. Won't COMMIT their lives to make sure the points are corrected EVERYWHERE. Whether its raising a kitten or a baby, I wouldn't want to DEPRIVE them of that awareness and responsibility of Reality.

If you do Care, and really CARE then you will commit. You will commit to find a way, to create a way to make sure it is done. A system of Life that supports and nurtures life everywhere.

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Day 720 Key Words

It would be nice to create the Education Tool the presents to children the nature of their minds. The nature of the human mind.

The nature of the human physical body.

The nature of Learning.

The most effective ways to Learn.

The information regarding the Mind, the structure of it, and how to change it.

The nature of Reality

The nature of Words

The nature of Energy

The nature of Emotions and Feelings.

The nature of Connotations, Bias and Denotation.

The nature knowledge, and how to know Truth, and how to Test information for yourself

The nature of Opinion

The nature of Trustworthy information

The nature of Responsibility

The nature of Life itself

The nature of Self

The nature of Thought, Memory, Past, Reactions, Opinion, Mind, Self, Belief, Lies, Evil, Live, Awareness, Breathing, The physical, Self-forgiveness, oneness and equality, relationships, groups, money system, world system, inner and outer, back to self, living words.

The nature of the WORDS that are KEYS to SELF, which are all the above words and many more words which are found throughout desteni material.

Friday, May 3, 2019

Day 719 The Generation to Come

The way I see it, the generation of new children, of the next people is always here. It is always right here that the new people will emerge and take our place. It is something constant. The constant Change, the constant exchanging of hands of responsibilities. Who we are is added onto to the next generation, it makes them stronger and better than us. Isn't that something we should aspire to? Shouldn't we want other people to be more than us? To learn from us? To learn quicker than us and reach a better spot in themselves than us? Should we not want to pass on the torch and make sure the future and path is brighter and better lit for them to walk on.

This is what I see the grander purpose of my life to be, and all of our lives as humanity, to make sure that those will come after us have it even better than us. Especially when it comes to the process of self-realization, self-amalgamization, self-transcendence, self-betterment, self-perfection. I really do believe perfection is possible, but its not what we may think of perfection being now, because we are not THERE yet, we can't conceive of something we haven't lived yet. Perfection though is possible and achievable, but we may not know it directly, until we get there.

There is something beautiful in living for the future generations, in living for others, in giving others a better and greater chance than you ever had. It more rewarding than gold or money. It is incredible. And it is the very meaning and essence of being alive. You become more than just yourself, you live on through others.

Working with the next generation is just that point. It is an investment. And kids are that initial expression. All kids were kids, and all adults were kids. So you are looking at adults. We are all still that same person, that same awareness there. Your awareness/being is still there, is still the same whether you are a kid or an adult. You are that ONE continuous person going through all of that! So you can remember, you can have access to that point of childhood, or of child-like expression. It is you. You can be curious, you can be brave, you can speak the honest plain truth. You can see direct the reality of a situation. You can be open vulnerable and playful. We ALL had that as children, and it is still THERE within you. It is. It didn't go away. YOU didn't go away. You are still here and still you. It is there still.

There are may ways to support the next generation. The primary way is through Self. Self-change, Self-forgiveness, Self-application. We can change so much simply through our example. We are creating this world aren't we? We are the ones who has our sins and weights within us, our imperfections, our drawbacks, our reactions that are emanating here in the world and creating the world. We are the world. And children rely on us, cause they ain't going to figure it out are they? No. They do need a GUIDE, they do need a pointer that points to what is best for all. That can show the path to walk through the mind.

If we give our Hearts to this cause and purpose of Children, of the future people, then it will be a very good future indeed. We are always only creating the future in this moment. What if we seized that fact and lived it to the fullest and the utmost. Really give it our best. Won't that create a future that is best?

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Day 718 Blinded by the Image of a Person

So I have been working on this Mind Design earlier in the week. It is massive. It has many interconnected parts that form something of a conspiracy theory because each part rested on another part, and fitted so nicely with the other. I could do something of a lecture of explaining all the various parts and how they fit together. For now though I'm going to continue with what I have been doing which is just sharing a part of it. A bitesize piece.

So within what I am looking at, there came up this interesting point. With Friends I can see something like their presence in the room, where if I close my eyes I can know it is them. This feels hard to explain. Let me start again.

Each person has a presence, and with some people it is extremely clear what their presence is. And their presence as their expression is so strong that its not defined by their image/appearance of their body. It is something like their nature or way of being. Or something like the way that they choose to express themselves in this reality as themselves. Or something like their BASE expression, who they are naturally when everything is chill.

For some people their presence is very obvious to me. It is unique. They may be similar to other's but its still unique.

So there was an individual who I couldn't see their presence signature, a word I'm making up. And with about 10 other individuals I could clearly see their signature. So for me it was curious, why? For this one its like it was blank, like I just couldn't see anything. Why is that?

So this questioned haunted me. I have to find out. I have to know.

Now I am seeing why. Now I am understanding. And now I'm beginning to see SOME of their signature, BUT I know that its not LIVED yet since it is still based in MEMORIES. Until I Live more with them will I be able to test it and see.

Anyway, the real interesting thing here is the WHY???
I was basically too focused on their appearance and image. I had an energetic charge with their image, and that meant I saw them as that image. When I started releasing the charges to their image, was the point slowing down. I started noticing things then about their presence and how they naturally are/were in the past moments. I started noticing things that are really cool about them, and how they do things. Before while I was focusing on their image, I couldn't see them in their action and behavior and in what they do.

How do I know this is the reason why? Cause when I started doing the self-forgiveness on my charge on their image in my mind, then I saw things slowed down and quieted down within me. And when I started to see them in my mind it was clear/empty and then I started to see their presence more. I started noticing their characteristics, their attributes, their method of being/existing. Before that, I honestly could only see their image and how I felt about it/my reactions to it.