Yogan's Journey to Life

 So another blog on the human mind/programming details using myself as the example.  One of the reasons why blogging is supportive is by having your programming out there in the world, it frees you. Because part of it is keeping it a secret. By saying that you have this issue, then people can't use it against you.  Fear can only work in the moment/here. Fear doesn't exist in the past or the future. You can only ever feel afraid now. The same with everything else really. The only thing that exists is what is here/now. So if you find yourself thinking about some future moment and feeling fear, then realize you are only feeling fear right now, and so all you have to do is to move yourself in this moment. Step out of the fear in this moment. And so don't think or believe that a future fearful moment will happen. I notice this type of thinking of feeling afraid of being afraid of like a future moment. So your in your mind thinking about how something will happen and how you wo...

There is a choice between Life or Energy. You can't exist one and equal as Life, with and as this Existence/Everyone, and simultaneously be of Energy/Polarity/Emotions/Feelings/Mind-puppet. Just like how you cannot be simultaneoulsy a person who is living as the self-directive principle of their life, and be a Slave/Reactive-entity to others, where you can be triggered. In ANY MOMENT, you are EITHER one or the other, and its a CHOICE. In every moment there is only One Truth. Its not a matter of debate/opinion, and that itself is already a part of the illusion of the Mind and part of the Separation: THE IDEA OR BELIEF THAT REAL TRUTH DOESN"T EXIST, THAT OBJECTIVITY DOESN"T EXIST, THAT THERE IS A KNOWN, AN ABSOLUTE, A POINT THAT SIMPLY WHAT IS AND ANYTHING ELSE IS A LIE OR FALSE. I mean obviously part of the illusion and deception has at is ultimate goal is to somehow even make the TRUTH unknownable or to even HIDE or DOUBT its existence. I mean that is where you really F...

This is an economic/world system post. So I read this article that interviews Chomsky. https://jacobinmag.com/2020/03/noam-chomsky-bernie-sanders-reform-labor?fbclid=IwAR1lqwspL2ZVDyh8NX_xhlLLr9KGx4HTUhX6bRqoApbiX48UW9BhY2BW3W8 So Chomsky is pretty old now, and he along with several others figures I can name: Bernie Sanders, Chris Hedges, are all old together. And they all throughout time fought for the truth: not for money or fame, and not for conspiracy theories. So basically I am saying I trust them because of their life long commitment to the truth and you can see it in their actions. There are not many people that I can say I trust to deliver on their word/promises and with what they say being true. So in the article he touches on and briefly introduces the point of what has been happening in the world. There is a class warfare as he called it. Or a corporation warfare or business warfare, where corporations and businesses have actively fought to suppress workers and to re...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing emotion and feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing others to stay in emotions and feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abandon others to their illusions, delusions, and emotions/feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not try to help others walk out of their mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on helping others leave their lies, illusions, enslavement. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place any value above the individual freedom of each person, where I must help them to walk out of my mind, and where I have been valuing different things like my status, my reputation, my perception by others, my wealth, my anything. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think anything could matter more than helping someone walk out of their mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think there co...

So stemming off from my recent blog post https://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2020/02/day-801.html , there comes moments throughout my day where I am reacting, and I am breathing, and there is a moment where I simply have to decide to Delete a point, or let it go completely, where it is so completely deleted that I am not focused on remembering it or it occupying my focus and attention, yet I can go back to remember it if I need to, but for the most part its not here anymore, its not relevant anymore. What I am saying is that I am noticing this difficulty of letting go and deleting/stop something so completely. I am seeing how I am holding onto points, where I have already done all I needed to already, and the final step is simply to stop, and let go. Pure and Complete Deletion. I am reminded of a vlog recording Gian did last month regarding lord of the rings and how Frodo had trouble letting go of the ring. So its something like that. Its like Deleting requires like a sh...

As it is described in the Desteni Material, I found the following to be true: that we have a being who is placed here in our chest areas of our body, and that we have a mind conscious system who is placed its emotional churning center in our solar plexus or stomach region of our bodies, and that this is an energy center where it will send energy to the head region where Thoughts are created, Backchats too, and the general mind activity. And that what the Process that we all have to walk as Humanity in order to be free is to amalgamate with our physical bodies. What this means is realizing that Who I am is the Being here in the chest region and that I can essentially stop/ignore/ stop-participation regarding the Mind. And so this means that I am here in the body sensing reality, seeing the immediate space around me without thought, and so with that kind of silence. Where I realize that who I am as Choice, and Awareness and Decision is a being who can YES create with the mind on pu...

Happy Birthday to the new day. Here we all are on Earth. And today is a new day. In this day and in this moment we are faced with this one process of realizing ourselves as life as everyone. To truly see others as ourselves, to truly see all that exists being equal. This is the challenge. And the way to walk this process, and the only way is to stop the energies of the mind, which are emotions and feelings. That is the only way it can be done, because how we are have been living is by letting our minds, our emotions and our feelings decide for us through reactions. We have given up our responsibility and agency in believing that our personality and our feeling good or bad is what matters or is even real. None of the systems and the mind is real in this reality. None of the personalities, none of the stories, none of the images or projections are real. All that is real is the physical. The physical is plain as day and it does not consist of a story or personality. Its quite boring in...

Walking the World System is tough. Where to begin? -You have to be popular, or likeable. It's like highschool, where you know everyone out there is in their positions not because they are the Best person for it, or have the highest level of integrity, its because they were likeable/popular. Because that is how most people work. That is the majority of us humans. So that is what our workplaces become. - Lying gets you ahead, as long as you don't get caught. I mean look at Trump. And the same is found everywhere. Look at Ned Stark in Game of Thrones. If you have integrity and tell the truth, you immediately aren't popular cause you don't fit in. Your hiring managers and everyone high in the company got there by lying and cheating. If you don't do the same, you are different than them. You're a threat to the system. - I would like to bombard and get rid of the world system, but even if I did, even if humans went back to a rural, physical lifestyle, no...

I choose to live more passionately in my blogs and vlogs, like how I used to. I have held back for different reasons. I have decided though that its worth it to do it, to live passionately in my words and expression as what's best for all and that whatever may come of it, I can manage it. Its worth it. So lets start: What is best for all and oneness and equality. What is best for all is stopping every single thought. Every emotion. Every Feeling. The Mind itself is based on Energy, and it relies on these points in the mind.' The Mind mines its energy from the body. Yes mines. It harvests its energy from the physical matter, and destroys the cells/tissue and harms it in the process. Participation in the Mind feeds off the body and accelerates aging. Stopping your mind is the utmost priority. To change this world is to change yourself. To take responsibility for this world is to take responsibility for all that is happening in it. And everything in your minds is...

I am walking a process of living words. Today I am taking a word that I have lived in some areas of my life already and expanding it. The word is Pumped Up. I have lived in during this last year at my physical labor job, where at any moment I may need to lift something heavy or do some intense physical movement for the job. I also have lived this word when I am doing something my life where I am directing with that tenacity. Body Dimension - In my body I feel what I am calling adrenaline with being pumped up. -In my body I feel I have access to all the sugar and glucose for my cells and muscles to move quickly, and very effectively. -In my body I feel so strong, so awake and so ready to do anything. -In my body I can push my limits and go strong. Being Pumped has dimensions of Directiveness, and being in control, calm. A very masculine presence where I do shout or speak loudly, yet very much to the point and non-emotional. Incorporation: -I can incorporate this word Pumped U...

Judging myself for doing what's best for myself. Judging myself as bad, not good. Feeling stressed about it. I'm in a possession, so just going to do self-forgiveness unconditionally to start. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as a bad for doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel stressed about doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself for doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself what is best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel burdened by doing what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and beLIEve that I am not allowed to do what's best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist doing what is best for me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel drained of...

Being Alone There is a system within me that 5 parts to it. Each part relates to this Trauma of being Alone growing up, being alone as who I am, being alone as my story, being alone as my past, the physical behaviors and ways I act out due to this Trauma of being alone. The 5 parts of the system are: 1.      Feeling/Thinking my life is meaningless and purposeless. This is very well captured by the end of the Bohemian Rhapsody song “Nothing really matters, anyone can see, nothing really matters, nothing really matters to meee…. Any way the wind blows….” These have been constant and consistent backchats in my recent days going back to several years. Where I would try to stop it and stand up from it, though never really ending it or changing it. But I did use this as a starting point to write out my purpose to become a data scientist and use that money to create my life and support the life of others. So I didn’t let it stop me, I worked with it however w...

Have you observed that with just the words THOUGHT, EMOTION and FEELING, (where emotions are the negative energy you feel and feelings are the positive version) constitutes most if not all of the human experience. Look how in your mind that in ANY given moment you are either having a Thought, an emotion or a feeling. Besides that the other option would be to have you awareness be placed within the body, such as in Breathing. Now, breathing fucks with the Mind. Because while you are breathing purposefully there is no space for your awareness to entertain a Thought.. So Breathing Fucks with the mind because no Energy is created. This is why the Physical is Key. But look how with these three words thoughts, emotions and feelings, you already describe any given moment of you life, past or present. So bringing your awareness and attention to THIS moment always you can STOP the thought, emotion and feelings and radically change yourself. ANYONE can do this. If you can prove to yourself t...

I had the chance to open up intimacy as an expression within myself, and something interesting opened up within that. So I had recognized that what I was experience was Intimacy and I had a question about what is this? So I decided to look inside myself and check. As a TIP, when I look inside myself if I have trouble what I can do to help me is to tilt my head down with the intention of kind of like looking inside me. So in this moment I saw that I felt good in my torso area and i felt pain in my arms and legs. It took me a little bit of time to double check and keep rechecking because it was rather strange to see how I felt something negative as pain in my arms and legs as energy, and I felt good in my torso, starting from where my legs and arms end meeting the body. So the torso includes the waste, chest area, head too. The Intimacy experience in my torso didn't fluctuate as energy so much, whether it actually was or wasn't didn't matter in the moment, because I could cle...

What I learned today was that Love and falling in Love isn't actually a feeling(as defined as positive). Its not something positive. Love is something you feel that is negative, it is an emotion(as defined as negative). The word that best describes it is unbearable pain. Within the context of Romeo and Juliet its easy to see. The caricature of a Romantic is someone who is in constant pain when separated from their loved one. It is torturous, it is unbearable pain. Its like the stereotype of the teenage girl who is in love for the first time. They are moody, overall dramatic in their  love. This unbearable pain is what it would actually feel like if you stopped and really felt what the body was feeling. Instead of feeling this unbearable pain we are so focused in our thoughts and beliefs, which is how and why we think Love is a positive experience. We think we are in love, I am have boyfriend/girlfriend, and I am loved, and so we believe we must be feeling positive. When in fact w...

So I have an observation to share today. I did work on an emotional reaction today that came up due to unique, unpredicted moment. I felt panic and it was in relation to scarcity of something I needed. Context is like you need something to do your work but they don't have enough for everybody and by chance you don't get it. And there is nothing you can "do" really to protest it. So you have to make due with the hand you were dealt. Its a really unique emotional signature and I remember it existing way back when I was in another situation that had to do with scarcity of something I needed and them not having enough. Back then it had to do with school lockers and I got stuck with one that was so far away from my classes that I had to run/rush to get to it, and I for a while couldn't find a single locker, and that was the very last one left in the school. This feeling has a very unique signature. Anyway, so I did self-forgiveness, but it wasn't enough really. I...

The world that is out there, and the world that is right here around our heads are the same. We are creating the world out there through the world we keep right here. This includes our thoughts, feelings, emotions, even the secrets ones, even the ones that pop up for a moment and then we suppress them. We don't really know how to work with our emotions and feelings effectively. We are very good at suppressing them, yes we can do that. This skill of suppression allows us to do our jobs, come home to our families, and wake up each day, but it has a price to pay and it has to come out eventually. It affects our health, it slowly pops up unexpectedly and in this worst possible moments in our relationships and workplace. We would be much better off if we knew how to really work with our emotions, feelings, and thoughts well. We would have more control, we could do much better. The other thing is our disconnect from life. We have become very selfish and very self-centered in our lifest...

Hi So, I had this recurring thought of ""I don't know what I am doing" and I had done self-forgiveness for thinking this and for feeling BAD. So today it happened again, because I haven't really resolved it or let it go. This time though I let myself feel it, and I asked myself did I feel Bad or Good? Positive or Negative? Essentially I was asking whether it was an emotion or feeling, but this time not based on knowledge or belief. I say this because I believed or thought that the state ""I don't know" Is a negative statement that it means I must feel bad. Though when I did this new thing today of just letting myself FEEL it. I say I felt positive/good. The specific word was Relief. I felt relieved as a positive feeling with not knowing and being ignorant, I felt I was free of responsibility and blame because I didn't know. Here I did self-forgiveness on believing that if I don't know something I am free of responsibility, becau...

This Eqafe interview: https://eqafe.com/p/compassion-gives-you-your-life-back-life-review Helps me to understand this 'Passion', this 'Anger', this 'intensity' that is not a positive experience within me, where I am focusing on Existence, on what is best for all, on the problems in the world and the solutions I see we can do. By focusing on the ALL of Existence, I am not looking for my positive experience, my energy, my mind, my thoughts to participate in them. How I found this interview was by going to the Eqafe search bar and typing in what I was interested in, in what question I had. So I searched for 'Anger' to find perspective on this Anger within me that was not positive and it relates to when looking at the World, the best for all that can be done. The way I would describe it is that I am putting myself into action. I am writing my blogs, I am doing what I can online, I move and act and contribute to bringing forth the world that I want to...

Anger as Justice is tricky because... when you are in traffic and a car cuts you off you think to yourself what an asshole, or that they shouldn't be doing that! I can list many more examples here... someone throws their trash on the ground. someone didn't clean their dishes. someone left a mess. someone talked about you behind your back. someone took something from you without asking permission. So pretty much in all above examples it is sociably ACCEPTABLE to become angry. According to society and invisible rules you are right to get angry. At desteni though we push further, we ask the question deeper, we don't just accept things just because. We want the answer that is best for all in all ways. What does anger do here? And perhaps more importantly what does anger feel like? Have you considered that you feel good when you feel angry? Don't you? You feel empowered, strong, ready to go. The opposite of feeling weak. So anger isn't a negat...