Yogan's Journey to Life

So today I am reflecting on this world self-honesty. Now when I learned of this word self-honesty, meaning being honest with yourself, I made a note to myself to focus on the word. Why? Because if I am honest about what is going on with me and what is going on in the moment right now, then I have what I need to be me, to be real, to create my life. So I notice this particularly revealing itself in self-questioning. So when I ask myself questions. When I ask myself a question about what I am going through, or why I am doing something, there is already present a knowing that something is wrong/off. So this honesty, together with asking the right questions, which is also part of the honesty, makes for a really good pair/couple. The couple of honesty and questions. So just to play with this image... Imagine their is a couple, honesty and question. Whenever a question is asked, the answer is an honest one. That is ideal isn't it. Ideally everyone would be honest in every moment....

So one thing I have been participating in, is energy in my words, and specifically negativity. I play myself out in a negative way. How I feel right now is tons of energy. Now, one reason why I am not stopping is because I seem to be addicted to talking about myself to others. And I perceive writing right now as if I am talking about myself. So this is the primary point, writing and generating energy within writing about myself. And so I am not stopping the energy. SO I remember as a child, I would share myself with my mother. And when I would share a realization to her, I notice I would immediately forget what I had realized and sometimes I would actually do the opposite of what I realized not to do. The nature of the realization was to better myself. To acquire some perspective or knowledge that was making me more aware. Yet within sharing it I became less aware. I notice I would feel great within sharing. I see now a connection with the thought pa...