Yogan's Journey to Life

Something I had done which was a mistake was to write out what my perfect/ideal partner would be. I didn't realize it at the time that I was making a mistake, and supporting separation between me and other people I meet. To understand why, let me explain. When we meet people it is like a seed is there, we don't know where it will grow, move or bend. It is unknown. We just met the person. So why would we put all of our ideas, thoughts, projections on what it COULD BE, or SHOULD BE, or what you WANT IT TO BE. Why not just be here and See what is here, be here in the moment, make sure you stick to your process, your principles, integrity, and being your best self. And from that, by doing this, something may eventually, through time and participation in moments of being here like this with a person..... something may emerge. And it is there that it is real. It is there and its real because its a process that was walk with being here with the person, sticking to who ...

So I was presented with constructive criticism, and so I faced an old pattern where when someone provides critical feedback, I resist and react personally. So the correction is to listen to the feedback and try it out. It is a simple point, yet the correction is not often applied by many people. To support others, what I do is to see what I am feeling, to breathe, and firstly agree unconditionally to try out what the person is saying. So within that I am clear and objective and honest. If I feel emotional or resistance, that means my breathing wasn't effective, so also my decision to stop wasn't effective.

So I'm taking this opportunity to define the words, and thus energies within me, for these words: Want, Need and Desire. So similar to how in yesterdays blog I was looking at anticipation, and those positive feelings, I am looking at something similar, something "Positive." So depending on what energy is accessed, one of these words, or some combination of these three words, define the energy. Some of my physical behaviors and changes to my behavior include, Tightness in my stomach/solar plexus, Tensing of my feet, Clasping of my hands. Shutting of my eyes. The energy for me feels intense. In general, now that I can look and reflect on what is going on within me, I feel/become uncomfortable where I am, how I am sitting, laying or standing. I feel/become uncomfortable in/within my body. It is functioning in such a way where its so uncomfortable within my body, that I, for some reason, seek these desire/want/need point. So its as if want/need/desire is defined in order to r...

Review of Process: Self-introspection on Breathing as a tool So I am taking this moment as an opportunity to review my history's process, specifically in relation to breathing as a tool. So the first thing I noticed was strange, that is I don't think about or consider breathing to be a tool I run to when I am facing a mind/energy point within me. The times when I focus on my breathing is when my breathing is constricted or limited, which tend to occur when I am within a mind/energy point. So upon discovering/noticing this in the moment I start to assist myself by breathing fully again. If I look back into my history of my process, I have treated and used breathing for purposes that were not supportive. I believed for a long time that I had to breathe and be aware of my breath in every moment. That is something I don't believe anymore, because my objective is to face, self-forgive/release a point of energy or mind participation that exists within me. Upon releasing t...

So I will be assessing my practical application regarding the muscular constrictions that are linked to emotional reactions, as discussed in recent posts. There were a few moments where I recall identifying a constriction of my diaphragm. In one moment, I was in the middle of a conversation, and at the start of the conversation, I notice my voice was rather high. This was a red flag that I identified for this physical reaction. I then had checked my diaphragm, and notice that I was in a physical reaction. Normally in such contexts I would be, what I used to call nervous. Having a conversation with another person and feeling this way was normal for me throughout my life. It was normal to feel nervous. So in this moment of conversation I focused on breathing, and releasing this constriction of my diaphragm. I did notice immediate results. My voice changed and was deeper. When I spoke, the words I used were specific and I would say more honest, more to the point, more relaxed, an...

Breathing... So in continuation with yesterday's post, I investigated other physical reactions I had of late. And coincidentally, perhaps being specific, they each correspond to parts of my respiratory system. So breathing, in order words. They include my throat, my solar plexus or diaphragm, and my chest/lungs. Additionally my forehead had a sensitive reaction, which I identified as being a point of attraction or distraction, because my attention would go to my forehead, instead of my diaphragm, where this muscle was in a stuck position. So I wrote about what was a trigger for each physical reaction, and described each physical reaction in detail. For my throat I wrote about how it was constricting, and not allowing for the easy passage of air. The nature of the reaction was that of guilt, and the trigger was that of being exposed or shown to be lying, or not living up to a commitment. For my forehead, I wrote about the sensitivity of the forehead area and how it reminde...

So im going to make this blog about reviewing over a helpful thing that I do to support me to stand and direct myself to not fall into the mind, in moments such as video game playing and porn viewing in moments where it is not appropriate. So just to say it, I bring myself to the physical. To be frank, I rediscovered this point within masturbation. I say rediscovered because I have applied this point before but I had stopped, mainly out of fear of this point that it may have been fake or untrustworthy. So it was the mind convincing me that something that was supporting me was actually bad or harming me. So just to talk about the point of masturbation a bit, to make it an little of an introduction, I have been practicing masturbation as a point of being here with my body and directing and moving myself without image or thoughts. So when I do this the objective is to not be thinking of any man, women, any sexual, nothing. So totally no thought. So what I would sometim...

So in general, the sciences always investigates things in separation of themselves. They consider that there is an out there separate from me, that what is out there is in separate from me. This is a mistake on parts of the sciences, because as anyone who has spent time with themselves alone, can see how much of what's inside is in outside in the world, in others too. Also, vic versa, much of what is outside of us is inside of us too. So its a huge error to assume that what is in this world is separate from oneself. Ok, so that was one problem. Within Behaviorism, we can see this manifested specifically through looking at the behaviors of others and assuming that that is all there is. Like there is nothing more than the behavior. That behavior is all we are. Again, anyone who has ever spent time with themselves alone would know that we often hide things in our minds, secret intents, and that we also are sometimes directing ourselves, and that most of the time not so much. So there...

I have not been living in a healthy balanced manner. I expected/believed I could focus on only one thing- my thesis- and ignore the rest. Within this binocular vision (tunnel vision) I did not care for eating well, waking up early, sleeping well, breathing, writing, resting, exercising, sitting comfortably, sitting relaxed, sitting so that I could sit like this forever, being relax and focused while reading, understanding, and learning. My overall experience with thesis is fear; a panic that I won't be able to finish, that I will run out of time. I desired to show so much, and do great things with my thesis. In essence then, I desired everything to happen quickly. That I would be finished with the whole project in no time- that I would be already at the finish line. Instead of being here with the thesis. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to finish early without putting the time and effort into it. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just...

So continuing with the discussion of what is best for all...          I was looking at this situation, there is a being who is in this world with many other beings. This world is here, its stable from a rule based perspective. Physics describe the physical rules. There are many many different stable relationships in the physical and many different substances and interactions that occur in predictable fashions. I made a comment or claim to another being once that humans should aspire to be like a tree. I mean this in the sense that humans learn commitment and stability. Trees are committed to living in a way to simultaneously support themselves and the environment around them. They are clear in who they are, and trees together have an accumulative effect that support life and the environment. You see, without the environment humans would be nothing, life would be nothing. The environment is the physical, and it includes nature, and the animal king...

--> I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can escape consequence and escape the mind through a process of separating myself from the physical reality WITHIN my mind through simply accepting and allowing the mind completely as my God or Master, where I completely rely on the mind and allow every single thought as the accepted truth of me, not realizing I am accepting and allowing it, I can stop, and that I have not in fact lived or expanded myself but have reduced myself to a box within a compartment in the mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing thoughts because of the belief they are practical and support what is best for all, as obviously I am not being supported by thoughts, I am forgetting me, I am making the ultimate sacrifice in disregarding me. I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I cannot direct and ensure the manifestation of what is best for all if I take a backseat in the mind and si...

--> So one prevalent point I have, especially on the weekends, is sleeping in. I am writing this in response to the forum thread, Only 4 -6 hours of Sleep Required? . So sleep and I have had an interesting history. I remember if there was like an emergency or great need to wake up like to head to the airport, I was able to wake like in a second though in a slight daze. I also used to before going to bed I would say I would sleep until a certain time in the morning and I would wake then. Thought of waking in morning, lol. The Heaven = Hell             So now in my current situation, I am a student studying who needs to be in charge of his study(and so sleep too!). I am writing separately a point on scheduling which will assist me in my setting my sleep pattern. So im going to just as a support see what excuses or reasons I have to go to bed early or to sleep in. Then I will establish a new pattern of sleep. ...