Yogan's Journey to Life

So I have been looking at this question about why I wake up everyday. I am looking at the dimension of How I have Woke up in the Past, and Why and for what I woke up for in the Past. I am also looking at the dimension of Redefinition and what I would genuinely like to love, would love to live, what would serve me the best!!!!!!! So let's get started!!!!! I listened to this eqafe interview on Mood Swings, and it help focus in on how I can wake up in a MOOD and how that can affect my day. https://eqafe.com/p/moods-moods-and-our-daily-lives-atlanteans-part-505 And helping me remember that it all comes down to a choice. You are faced with a mood, and you don't want to do the dishes, and you decide to do it anyway, as yourself, as your body, with your presence, and you transform the moment of a bad mood to a simply physical doing that is calm, natural, good-feeling like in a very normal way. Like a very natural like doing. At the same time in the beginning you may have to real...

Education is important. No doubt. Yet there are doubters. But what is education? For me I have only recently come to appreciate and, see from an new perspective, Education and what it is. There are a number of topics that I can cover, I will try to cover them all. Education is a word. I can reflect that it is a word. I can recall and remember all the ways this one word can be used. It is connected in my brain to these word possibilities: School, College, University, classes, subjects, math, history, science, literature, teachers, nature vs. nurture, experience, skill, self-taught, questioning, curiosity, truth, honesty, objective, unbiased, arguments, thesis, question, hypothesis, nature, the earth, reality, morality, ethics, best for all, understanding, learning, open. The fact that I connect all these words to the word education is proof that I have a deep, rich, complex education, that is aligned not with fantasy, manipulation, or lies. For some people, education is about such t...

Remembering my life and who I have been. I have been many different persons. I once was a person very much in love and obsessed with one person. I remember all the love and pain I felt. I was in so much emotional pain. Remembering the emotional pain I felt, it feels like no physical pain would mean anything in comparison to that. This is my evidence that love is the real evil. I once had the relationship I wanted. I had lots of sex. I felt close, intimate. Then I found out the person was someone who was not committed to me. I realized that I made a mistake. I realize I needed to change. That is when I started Desteni. I was ready. I remember being like 7 years old and sad. I remember being happy in regular class, and when I moved to gifted class everything changed. the kids in regular class were friendly and sociable. The kids in gifted class were super serious and intimidating. It was like being in military school, or where everyone was a robot. I remember feeling just weird, ...

So I am the process of finding work. And something I thought of doing is to take an aptitude test. I found something interesting. In the aptitude test, I saw that my Strengths and skills are in math, analytical thinking, logic, reading, writing, solitary work. My weaknesses are social interaction, working with people. The aptitude test also asked what my interests were. I looked down the entire list. Nothing interested me. The closest thing is Philosophy. So in the list there were things like economics, finances, construction, everything. The one thing I would like to do is help people become better, to become more aware of themselves, and learn. That is my interest. The aptitude test then asked me what my preferred working environment is. I love working outdoors, I could work outdoors the entire day. I love it. That is my preferred working environment. So to summarize my ideal job would involve 1. Strengths- Math, analytical thinking, numbers, logic, mental labor 2....

This blog post may not be so great. The thing I worked on today involves my relationship with my mom, at an early age. She was my root, my connection to this world. She was my world, my sun, my everything. I felt like I connected to her, I felt understood, I felt I received attention. And when I was not with her I noticed the difference. When I started school, I notice most people, or  really no one gave me that same attention and treated me that way. What I can observe now is that as I met people that actually in some way did give me attention and was nice and kind to me, I started really liking those people, having crushes on them, or just wanted to hug them. You have to understand that I felt so much love for my mom, then I would love to go up to her and hug her. And I related to some of my teachers this way. But why is this? Why feel this way? Because what happens later is the relationship falls apart, where I start talking about things where she doesn't understand. I sta...

It seems fitting that since I had written about my dream/desire for the future world, that I write about my dream/desire for a school. I also placing this into words for the first time. In the past I have written about schools, and the experiences that children face based on what I observed of peers during my time as a student, as well as my own experience as a child. I have written also about my perception of sudbury schools. In fact, when I first came across sudbury school material online, I had this experience I felt, but I didn't put it into words. Having worked now at a sudbury school, and being let go from that school, I have to be honest with myself and self-reflect on what I see is needed or missing, especially from this vision I have about what future I want for everyone. Firstly, I do feel hesitant and fearful to say I want a certain future for other people, as if it is wrong or bad or unacceptable to want a certain life for someone. The reasoning is that you can'...

So I have been reviewing my life and what I am realizing now, within my recent years the point of how I placed my desire of wanting to connect with people, to have social skills, first before what is best for all. So I did just that during the last 3 years after graduating college. I went after what I wanted. So this influenced my decisions where I tried to work within a sales position, to develop social skills. Then I worked at a school, also as part of my desire to connect with people. The result of placing my desire first before what is best for all meant that I choose things based on what I wanted, not what is best for all. I could have instead first placed what is best for all first, and then within that life path I could along the way get what I want. But then when I want would not come first or before what is best for all. So this is my lesson. Also really, in sales, I wasn't getting what I wanted, which was to really connect with people, intimacy, on a equal and one level...

I figure it would be cool to check out old posts and review/expand them. From April 14 2012, http://yoganjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/04/1st-day-april-14th.html "I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to generate emotions while watching the tv show supernatural. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to generate emotions and feelings while watching fringe. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to generate emotions while playing the online game dead frontier. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to generate energy as emotions and feelings when I compete with other players and use them for my own purposes, involving deception. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, I have just been playing all day, I haven’t done anything. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from what I am doing on a Saturday. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to generate emotion of str...

J'en ai des frissons... Posted by Jeremy Demay on Saturday, May 17, 2014 So in the above video, I am observing a very interesting point that I myself participated in. That is, believing that children are merely inputting and outputting everything we tell them, and that we are shaping them. So here I am questioning this point, because this is a very common belief, where all of our parenting guides and school systems are using this belief to teach and shape the children into what it is that is right, good or best. Now, having spent time with children who specifically have the freedom to explore themselves and their world, I am having a different point of view that is quite obvious actually. So with starting with the obvious, there have been many people that have grown up in abusive home environments, some that I know personally. These people all learned from their home environments and abusive parents, to not be like their parents, and to be different. This meant, n...

So in line with the recent posts and audio recordings, I am continuing with this topic of being overly agitated/activated/energetic. Now, like I had shared, many thing throughout my day activate/trigger me into this hyped up state. So on this topic alone I could write many blogs. Today's blog will be able social situations and gatherings, because today I faced this point. Now I have to be specific about the context here. So basically in a moment/middle of a conversation that is flowing, meaning that you speak and others respond to what you say, and in that moment you can respond to what they said in response. So this excludes moments where conversations don't flow or they drop flat, or they don't move. And in situations where there are no conversations, like everyone is sitting nearby one and another and not interacting. So that's the context. So in this moment, I become energetic, excited, motivated. This turned on like a light switch and energetic state. I am be...

These school models get my approval. I could describe it as a school were people ages 5-18 can be "destonians" in the sense that they are responsible for themselves, for their decisions, and therefore have to be self-directive, and so also self-regulate. They face the real world meaning that they face challenges, make mistakes, learn from them, and they have support available to them at all times, which they must take the initiative to ask for help. They are all equals in the community. Children are not inferior or superior based on age, talent or skill in some area, to anyone. Instead they get to intermingle among their ages, and they support one another in conversation, growing, expansion. So basically how we all should have acted since the beginning. The trick would seem then, to simply provide a support structure for children, instead of a forceful teaching regiment design to create a particular child, with particular skills and knowledge by your design. So just like wh...

Yogan Who am I? What is my story? So I am trying to define myself, and place myself into words, categories, and descriptions, such that it encompasses my whole life, and all of my life experiences. I have experiences that cover spirituality, new age, gurus, christianity, philosophy, psychology, academics, living in the United States, specifically Miami, Florida, Hispanic culture, the Spanish language, going to public and private schools, being a guy, being an introvert, having dogs and cats, having divorced parents that get along, having a brother and a sister, being 24 years old, having a bachelors degree in psychology, having lived in Portland for 4 years, while studying at Reed College, being a straight A high school student, feeling lonely/alone, having crushes, being in relationships, having had sex, wanting to be married with someone forever, not knowing what to do with my life, not knowing or being sure there is a God, also not even caring because I hold myself to my own ...

So one thing I observed while taking my statistics class as part of my graduation requirement for my degree in psychology is that the questions you ask and what options you give for a person to answer in, will limit and define the responses that people will give you. There is a whole history of science and reseaarch behind this point, where they were supposedly looking for the way to ask objective questions. There is a popular video out there however, of a man who asks college women whether they would vote against women's suffrage. Most of them did vote to end women's suffrage. What they didn't know was that suffrage stands for the right to vote. So this also shows how the basic vocabulary of a person, or in other words the words that they know of, will influence and effect how this person will perceive reality. I mean its just a basic point of communication, but in a world that is full or deception, that is full of advertisements, that is full of business trying to sell mo...

So in general, the sciences always investigates things in separation of themselves. They consider that there is an out there separate from me, that what is out there is in separate from me. This is a mistake on parts of the sciences, because as anyone who has spent time with themselves alone, can see how much of what's inside is in outside in the world, in others too. Also, vic versa, much of what is outside of us is inside of us too. So its a huge error to assume that what is in this world is separate from oneself. Ok, so that was one problem. Within Behaviorism, we can see this manifested specifically through looking at the behaviors of others and assuming that that is all there is. Like there is nothing more than the behavior. That behavior is all we are. Again, anyone who has ever spent time with themselves alone would know that we often hide things in our minds, secret intents, and that we also are sometimes directing ourselves, and that most of the time not so much. So there...

I am in a mass amount of work. Writing this out, I feel calmer like I can complete my work. I have several things to account for and complete throughout the next 9 days. Taking deep breaths helps me focus. I can feel the blood rushing to my brain, in slow, steady beats. The fear of failure. I allowed in a moment long ago, to participate in the fear of failure so completely that I never wanted to try again. I never wanted to stand up. I felt I was nothing, powerless. There is an element of not knowing- the fear of not knowing, whether I would succeed or not- and this scared me. Breathe, be here, and direct myself. These were words I repeated over to myself, until I lived it and stood up.  Accepting and allowing even one thought is to accept and allow the mind and to give up directive principle. Always stand as directive principle. Breathing helps to discharge what energy has its hold of you. Though breathing cannot replace you standing up and taking directive principle. This ...

As a student who was intensely interested in Behaviorism (a.k.a. Learning), I was surprised that the other disciplines in psychology fell prey to unsubstantiated theories and claims that lacked physical/behavioral evidence. This is a discussion I will have throughout my blogs, right now, however, I will focus on laying down the foundations for how the environment plays it role with allowing/supporting/strengthening What is Best For All.                 Im going to jump into this discussion with something that was brought up in my psychopathology class. It has been documented in cross-cultural psychopathology studies, how social realms such as hunger, work, divorce/marriage, and poverty, contribute to mental disease, as defined by the DSM. I believe to remember that they referred to Anxiety as the main mental diseases that they found. So, as someone who is currently considering how the environment contributes to w...

--> Film review: Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20 th Century               So I watched this film, which you can access here . There are many points that are raised so im going to pick one point which was not fully addressed in the film. The film mentioned how frustration was a key component in an anger response where frustration was taken out on others. This I believe is a commonsense point where we as individuals have seen at one time that someone was angry and expressing that anger in their voice or actions when interacting with another being and in doing so find some relief. So the point in the film was raised that adolescents who fight in school were feeling frustrated at not achieving what they desired as teacher approval and system approval. The film mentions how children at an early age, and so are very vulnerable, are made subject to a system where the only purpose is to perform said acti...

As a child i was brought up expecting myself to be a savior. My parents had told me i was an old soul. So i formed a belief about myself that i was somehow more than others. For no apparent reason other than i was an old soul and so acted more mature. This was certainly an act. So i notice that in my writings i am very self-assuming. yes well this is abusive because it assumes and i really have not investigated points thoroughly in detail. Now having understood this about me i must now change this about me as it will lead to consequences i would rather not create. i notice how this has influenced my general writing even for school where i would think what i write is good, but without considering how it was good, i would only feel that it was good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use feelings to judge whether something i written as good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing emotions and feelings while seeing what i write. I forgive myself for accepting...