Yogan's Journey to Life

So I see this point within me of the Secret Bully. Where in specific situations, where my mind sees the opportunity to activate, then it will be here: the Secret Bully. The design works as follows. It finds the perfect situations where basically another person will be confronted with me as the Secret Bully, but because we are alone, and because I don't do this openly with groups of people, and moreover I be Good with groups of people, and present myself as a good guy, that it would be strange odd if they were to tell anyone about it. So its highly specific. Understand this is a design, and given that I am writing it out, it loses its power. Because when you write out the design, the pattern, when you expose all the moments where it occurs, then it becomes powerless, because then you know it. When its kept secret and unspoken its like you don't know it. That is why the Secret Mind exists, to keep you trapped, and keep a level of power over you. Your only choice is to stop...

There is a very interesting mind system that seems best described as a personality within me. The reason why personality is because its basically like a person or has a personhood to it. It has a flavor and it has a presence to it. And its a personality within me because its like Dr Jekyll and Mr.Hyde, its something hidden, and when it is here it is like I am a different person. The reason why I am making it seem so dramatic or so extreme is because it is. Because when I started to open this up really, I was suprised/shocked yet at the same time not, that I was laughing and smiling about things which I would never do. So what I am saying is that its not something I was conscious of, to extent of being fully aware enough to even say it exists, or even say it is how I am describing today/now/above, like with the words of it being a personality within me, it being like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I didn't see it like that at all. Until now. What is interesting is now I have that awar...

So the secret mind is something that came up from desteni years ago. And today it came up within me as a support/explanation for what's been going on with this part of me. So my original idea of the secret mind was that it consisted of those thoughts that you were secretly holding on to. With what I have been going through, the secret mind was the perfect set of words to explain to me how I could be having these thoughts that I have been having and not stop them. The definition I am using for secret mind now are those set of thoughts that I haven't embraced/accepted to be of the mind and requires just immediate stopping/recognition that this is the mind and isn't me. So I have had a whole range of thoughts that are like that: thoughts that I haven't accepted to be completely thoughts of the mind. The way I was looking at how this could be is the following. So you know you start walking process and you know what thoughts and emotions and reactions you want to stop....

I am a Thief! I stole something today. There was a part of me that was within a Word, within my mind, and I stole it from my mind today. I suppose though that since it is a part of me, that I already owned it. Yet I didn't own it. So YES I STOLE IT. And I would do it again too.  Lol. So this part of me, was within the word God, and it permeated into my responsibilities. And this part of me is me taking care of my responsibility in a disciplined, direct, shall I say cut-throat? Manner. So I recognize that this is a part that I lived in my life and I lived it in relation to something/someone outside of me, God for example. I did a write up, and I wrote down the facts, and what I understood, and as I went along describing how it works within me, and the context/situation, and how I change, I ended up with a really nice picture and understanding. I won't go into the detail unless I see a good reason to. So the focus right here is on that I took this expression, you could s...