Yogan's Journey to Life

I won't accept and allow being Kind and being Fake about it, so Smiling at someone, being courteous, yet when it comes to actually being supportive: the support isn't there. Because what really matters is being Real, and so really supportive of each one. No matter their situation or who they are: we can support them within their position. Because we can push for the best from each one. To give more, to be more, live more, apply more, create more. Because the point is to bring all points here, all people here, all application here so that we may grow and create more, and stand as one and equal. But Kindness, Positivity, Friendliness, and Smiling means nothing if its not backed by real supportive actions by the person, or real supportive and practical words. The following must end: Hypocrisy, Being Fake, Anger, Fear, Jealousy, Comparison, Ego, Hiding, Pretending, Lying, and so basically any other point that is not aligned with standing in Everyone's shoes as equal: ...

So the secret mind is something that came up from desteni years ago. And today it came up within me as a support/explanation for what's been going on with this part of me. So my original idea of the secret mind was that it consisted of those thoughts that you were secretly holding on to. With what I have been going through, the secret mind was the perfect set of words to explain to me how I could be having these thoughts that I have been having and not stop them. The definition I am using for secret mind now are those set of thoughts that I haven't embraced/accepted to be of the mind and requires just immediate stopping/recognition that this is the mind and isn't me. So I have had a whole range of thoughts that are like that: thoughts that I haven't accepted to be completely thoughts of the mind. The way I was looking at how this could be is the following. So you know you start walking process and you know what thoughts and emotions and reactions you want to stop....

So I had a moment where I was told by someone else that I am patient, comfortable with myself, I am at ease, very honest, courageous, don't mind being embarrassed, SO I was never told I was very honest before. It floored me. Its amazing really. I consider it more than a compliment, I don't know what to call it. Being seen like that, and being seen, means so much for me. Plus, I never really Saw myself in that way from the perspective of the eyes of another person. So now I can. Its weird. I can see myself as an honest guy. Same with being courageous. I didn't/don't see myself as courageous in walking process. And I initially downplayed that, saying how I am just walking process and how it is just that. And again, seeing myself through someone else's eyes gives me a grander perspective. That I am courageous. That I do face my fears. Hearing these qualities of myself from another person means more to me than anything. It's simply amazing. So the less...

I have noticed something interesting about me. I have ability to express with my eyes and face that really embody my presence, and is enjoyable for me, and I communicate with just my face/eyes using no words. It is very much a presence of myself here. I am present inside my eyes. I present with the images of this world that I see. I am here within my own presence. It is me, I am being me. It is natural and comfortable. It is real and expressive. It is deep, yet silent. It's like an extension of myself into my environment. It's like I am moving out into my surroundings and holding it within me. This causes a slight smile on my face. I enjoy being here with what is here. I enjoy my own presence. This is something I am investigating and testing out in moments. What does the eyes reveal about me, myself, I? If my eyes want to shut/close, is that because I am closing down or shutting off? If my eyes are strained is it because I am strained? If my eyes are open and natura...

--> I was walking to the cashier line. A young woman was in line waiting to pay for her food. She was looking at me. I looked back. For a moment we looked at each other. She then turned away. I built the expectation that she was now interested in me, because I showed interest in her. So I expected that she might look at me again. She was finishing paying her things, meaning that she would soon leave. I kept my face away, so as to not appear to be looking. I was looking out of the corner of my eye. I did not see anything that indicated that she looked. I felt nervous. I see a fear of loss, of trying to get a relationship and it not working out, and I am there standing alone looking like a loser.. A picture of myself looking sad standing in a dark space, I look moppy. A song places “Im a freak, Im a weirdo…” I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect that because the young woman was looking at me, that must mean she was interested in me. I forgive ...

--> So I made a mistake in not standing as what I trusted, as good. I immediately went into a fear of not being good, when I received feedback that I was not good. I went into the mind instead of standing up for myself. I fear knowledge, and I granted knowledge equal value to reality. But knowledge can be false- while reality is real/here. Knowledge can reflect reality, however it can also not. So this proves knowledge itself cannot distinguish reality from false lies (misinformation, disinformation). WE, need to see for ourselves directly reality by being here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the mind as separate from me and that I was not responsible for what happens in my mind. When and as I see the mind as separate from me, I stop and breathe, I bring myself back here, I stop the separation, and I stop the mind either immediately by saying "stop" or by applying self-forgiveness. I imagined telling this specific girl the foll...