Yogan's Journey to Life

There's a lot that I have been walking in my mind that is complex/complicated to share in a way that it will be understood without being judge or misunderstood. But I will in this blog share what I can while focusing more on the principle of the points, and so trying to avoid confusion or judgment from people because then it would prevent the readers/people from assimilating the message/lesson. There is a technique employed that involves me visualizing a person who I know I have a reaction to. So I visualize them and I try to see them as me as one and equal in that my imagination naturally turned to the point of hugging them. So here I am observing my own mind, and my own reactions and I am utilizing what I am seeing as a way to inform me of the reactions so I can align the points. I will know if I am understanding the misalignment if I can finally realign the point. So in the imagination they would be stabbing me in the back as I would try to hug them. So my first step here was ...

Laziness. Where have i accepted and allowed laziness to manifest? its funny, laziness does not have to be inactivity. Being here could be an "inactivity" for a moment and breathing while i sit for example. Though its not inactive. In looking for laziness, its in those moments of walking to the cafeteria to eat where i am lazy in that i do not walk in equality with the physical. Being unaware of yourself is laziness. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be here and walk with the physical while walking somewhere. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be here when sitting while on the computer.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be here when using words in speech or in writing. I commit myself to be here with the entire physical body, including the hands, feet, legs, pelvic area, belly, back, shoulder, neck, chest, arm pits, face, top of the head, back of the head, belly button, the inner organs, the b...

When I was in the first year of highschool, towards the end, my mom had visited an astrologer to see about what would be best for me. She went on some day magical, like 5/5/05 which both her and I took as a sign of the value of the following, that I should change schools to a Jesuit College Preparatory school. When I heard the news, I thought it was like divine plan. I felt sad inside because there was this girl I liked and known for a couple years that went to the school I was in. I had however in my desperato fashion, saw leaving as good and necessary and I made a positive or unemotional façade about leaving. Her and I had not been talking in a while, and all of a sudden in our English class she hugged me while we were standing. I did not hugged her back thinking to myself I can’t hug her or I would cry. I very much lived in a life of emotions. I never wanted to appear or look emotional so is my pattern of mind. I wanted to be courageous, not fearful, ever. I ...