Yogan's Journey to Life

 Light worker facial expression when they are wrong about their intuitive reading of someone else. I remember this face of 2 different people when they were wrong about me, and I corrected them. I am realizing that I have this same kind of reaction, and it must be some preprogramming for this lightworker in general realm. When I was wrong about the first girl I kissed, I read her completely differently, I was devastated. If I knew who she really was I would not have kissed her. People put on masks. And because I had so must trust and faith in my reading of her, I felt embarrassed when I was wrong. Like extremely so, then I suppressed my memories, wanted to drop anything to do with her including our mutual friends. Like wanting to start over from scratch. Reset. This is a pattern for me, stemming from this preprogramming of when I am wrong in my reading of another, and I am heavily invested in that reading. I act on it. I take it very personally when my reading of another is wrong. ...

 So I stumbled upon something recently. It is about Fear. That fear can be experienced as a positive or negative experience. So the idea that Fear is only something negative is wrong. And because of what I learned about Anger some 2 years ago, that it can also be lived in a positive way, then it makes sense to conclude that perhaps all emotions/feelings can actually be experienced as positive or negative.  This is a revolutionary perspective. As it brings the focus more on energy and how we are perhaps choosing or living experiences based on positivity/negativity, so polarity. Because the end goal of the mind is simply to garner more energy for itself through experience, and it doesn't really care whether it is positive or negative.  A brain scientist might say that emotions/feelings are just chemical experiences in our bodies. To which I would say that if you look at how we actually relate to it on a meta-physical level, then it is interacting on the level of personality...

Self-forgiveness on Emotions, Feelings and Thoughts: ] I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I don’t know what I am doing I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel scared I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous      I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel worried I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel alone I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel paranoid I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel surrounded I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel I can’t trust anyone I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abandoned I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel watched I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel spied on I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like being aware of my every move because someone...

So I see this point within me of the Secret Bully. Where in specific situations, where my mind sees the opportunity to activate, then it will be here: the Secret Bully. The design works as follows. It finds the perfect situations where basically another person will be confronted with me as the Secret Bully, but because we are alone, and because I don't do this openly with groups of people, and moreover I be Good with groups of people, and present myself as a good guy, that it would be strange odd if they were to tell anyone about it. So its highly specific. Understand this is a design, and given that I am writing it out, it loses its power. Because when you write out the design, the pattern, when you expose all the moments where it occurs, then it becomes powerless, because then you know it. When its kept secret and unspoken its like you don't know it. That is why the Secret Mind exists, to keep you trapped, and keep a level of power over you. Your only choice is to stop...

There is a very interesting mind system that seems best described as a personality within me. The reason why personality is because its basically like a person or has a personhood to it. It has a flavor and it has a presence to it. And its a personality within me because its like Dr Jekyll and Mr.Hyde, its something hidden, and when it is here it is like I am a different person. The reason why I am making it seem so dramatic or so extreme is because it is. Because when I started to open this up really, I was suprised/shocked yet at the same time not, that I was laughing and smiling about things which I would never do. So what I am saying is that its not something I was conscious of, to extent of being fully aware enough to even say it exists, or even say it is how I am describing today/now/above, like with the words of it being a personality within me, it being like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I didn't see it like that at all. Until now. What is interesting is now I have that awar...

We are all one and equal. Oneness and Equality requires giving up the ability to Feel emotions and Feelings such as Happiness, Excitement, Love, Joy, Sadness, Anger, Frustration, Irritation. Because your current ability to feel such things are all based in Reactions to something. They are not your Decision, they are not your Deliberate Creation. They only exist because you accept and allow it, because you only exist currently as an Observer. You are not the Directive Principle of your Life currently. You are existing purely as someone who is observing and experiencing Energy. Your entire life boils down to what you Feel, and Experiencing Energy. Do you agree with this truth? Given this, it is shameful, and it is idiotic, and silly, and simply a wasted life and a wasted time, since how many points did you participate in your Life that was merely because of energy? All of them. How many decisions did you make based on the Energy you Felt? All of them. Do you exist at all outside of thi...

Where am I afraid to go? What door? I am afraid of being with people who are attempting to manipulate and control my actions and behaviors through manipulating my environment, by withholding certain things from me. I am afraid of being in a situation where someone is trying to keep things away from me, that take things away from me. I am afraid of being in a situation where things around me are being moved without my decision, and so there is chaos and unpredictability. I am afraid of being treated in a way where it’s purpose is manipulating my behaviors, and how I feel in order to make me afraid/compliant. I am afraid of being told I am responsible for someone else’s feelings, where I will be punished and held accountable if I don’t ensure I make someone else feel good. I am afraid of being chastised and reprimanded. I am afraid of someone taking actions to change my physical reality/space in order to punish me or control me. When I ...

So I have an interesting point to share. What I am seeing is that in my body there has been stored programming that has been unleashed when I started to change my posture, my voice, my general holding of my body. So I was someone quite hunched over with my eyes being droppy all the time and not speaking clearly and mumbling quite a bit. I focused some time to change these things, and what I am noticing is that all of this programming in my head/mind came out. And that now I am noticing this point and now I am focusing on doing the SF and to change the inner points of the mind/self. So I'm doing SF on thoughts, emotions and feelings I am having. So here is a cross-reference point for others, that its possible that mind points are hidden within such things as posture, and other physical ways of holding yourself or kind of existing/moving as. I would say in my case I needed to change my posture and how I moved myself in all of these ways directly and so then face all of these mind p...

Here I will be addressing our relationship with Animals. Us as the all of us. All of us human beings and how we relate to animals. It shouldn't be a surprise yet it will be a surprise nonetheless that our relationship with animals is filled with separation. Often we immediately look at the points of Animal Extinction, Exploiting animals for profit, factory farming, physically abusing animals. Obviously all of this is indicating some form of separation that is going on, I mean there has to be right? But its not that simple. How people respond normally is within judgment of good/bad. People think that if there is going to a criticism of some people, that some people have to be the bad guys and that some acts are simply bad. Those whoever that truly live by and work side by side animals like Fully and like Completely know that good/bad and morality are not real things that animals understand or live. Animals do kill one another, sometimes to eat the other, other times because of t...

I know, war is an extreme.  I have made the decision that its necessary to declare a war on feelings. This includes all feelings, including intuition, happiness, love, joy, excitement etc... Anything that involves your feelings about something or someone. Feeling like someone is bad or good, or someone is untrustworthy. Any kind of feeling that involves translating that feeling into a belief. So that means when I see someone who looks homeless, that I don't judge them as homeless and I don't make a feeling about them, or accept and allow a feeling about them for example. This includes when I see someone that looks Beautiful, that I don't see them as beautiful, or as trustworthy or good, or bad, or bitchy, or whatever. I don't think or feel anything about them, or anyone. Instead what I do is see directly here in real time what is going on, and who people are, and whats happening actually.  It is necessary to confront all feelings, because how else will expressions...

The story of seeing a girl at an age 10 and seeing all of her potential and then seeing her 3 years later and seeing all of that potential Squashed. This is one out of many stories of humanity. The basic truth of all people, is that we’re all quite troubled, and that we at an early age in childhood had that potential and beauty. If you see all of the adults who are supposedly wretched, see how they used to be before, before they were like that, and even before then. Keep going back and you will see we all had that potential on our faces. That potential is there still, even though its deep down. It breaks my heart when I see that potential squashed. I haven’t learned how to deal with that. But that potential in humanity is the most beautiful thing there is. This is what I live for. I live for the potential of humanity and for myself. I don’t live for what is only here as in the status quo. I don’t live for continuing just the same thing everyday. I live for t...

I am starting this Blog, with a Vlog... haha that rhymed! See below: So continuing on this point. I have seen how throughout my life, I very much cared about many women's opinion me and what they said to me or about me, cause of my interest in potential partners or women, since I am naturally aligned to desiring and being with a woman. So I can see how past girlfriends how what they said to me, I took it to my heart, deep into my heart. If they had a criticism of me, I kept it deep here in my heart, like a scar. It is there. It stays there. And its alive, and sensitive like a fresh wound. I remember one woman saying: Yogan! You don't know what you are doing! You want to change! But you haven't lived it yet! I took that to heart. I didn't stop to consider it or question it, or look who I am in relation to it. I immediately believed it, and believed her. Cause I cared about her opinion about me. And it made me feel real bad. Very bad. Like I am bad. She is rig...

Flustered and Clumsy I had an energy experience and it kind of got me stunned/locked in position. So I named the game. The names are Flustered and Clumsy. That is what I am feeling now as I write this. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Clumsy. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered being afraid of saying the wrong thing I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with saying something stupid. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with coming across poorly I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with sounding dumb to my new friends I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel flustered while imagining messing things up with what I said and people uninvite me to a hangout, or I get ignored from future invites I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myse...

From my past relationships with women... I am afraid of saying or doing something in the heat of the moment and regretting it… I am afraid of doing or saying something I can’t take back… ...I accept the worst of me and the worst that I can do. I accept that it can happen. I accept that it can happen that I do say something that makes the relationships irreparable, that ends it, I can that accept that I can be saying right now as I caught myself saying it. I can accept that I just said/done such a thing.I can accept that I just lived the worst of me. I can accept what is happening right now. I can forgive myself for doing that. I can forgive myself even though there is a consequence that no self-forgiveness or self-change can undo. I can forgive myself even though the consequence is permanent. I can forgive myself wholly/fully. I forgive myself not for the purpose of undoing consequence, but because I did that, I created that consequence, and I accept that...

How would I describe Panic? Its something that takes you over. Its much stronger than just fear or worry. Panic really becomes you. You see through the eyes of panic. I noticed how even the taste of my tongue just resting in my mouth change and almost like the flavor of the air changed. I don't think the air really changed, what probably happens is that my perception changed through me being within the emotion. How I stepped out of panic was through my assertiveness and strength within me. I access it through my writings and speaking on what is best for all and oneness and equality. Its a point where I can stand absolutely and become very strong. Though this isn't the end of the story. I made a plan then to handle the situation that lead to the panic. Because you see, there was a situation that occurred that was very unfortunate, very surprising and unexpected. And I had to accept that it is happening. After stopping this reaction like I said above, I went into investigat...

Much of the Mental Health system is about the Reactive side of things. So like you won't be going to a mental health counselor to get the pointers to maintaining a good mental health. Some synonyms here in this context for good mental health could be: greater self-understanding, more directive in your life, a more stronger self, more perseverance, more courageous, not letting emotions/feelings take over your life, not falling into addictions, being more physical, enjoying the simple joys of life more, enjoying your body more, being more here and attentive to your life, have a deeper more intimate relationship with yourself. So in general, how we define mental health counselors, psychiatrists, and psychologists is that we go to them when we are really sick or really messed up in the head. We don't go to them for advice for proactive ideas for improving ourselves, but for reactive solutions to problems that took years upon years to create, or problems that arose from a traumati...

Feeling the feel of your feelings/emotion to get to whats real.

So today I what I became aware of as I faced my mind was that there are positive experiences that I have been accepting and allowing. The first one in my day was tiredness. When I woke up I was in tiredness, and it was a positive experience, I liked it. It was floating and relaxed, yet it was tiredness as a feeling, as a positive energy. I had trouble stopping it, even with self-forgiveness and breathing. It was only when I applied the inhalation as a point of checking myself for my experience and for any energy. My inhalation was very specific here, it was SHARP and FULL and I held my breath with my lungs full. Before when I was using breath in the morning it was more RELAXED and it was like HALF-full inhalation. So the breathing I needed to do to support was specific. As I continued my day I noticed the pattern of how I have accepted and allowed positive experiences to take over my life. I observed several things about me. I observed how emotions are there to protect feelings, wh...

Today I learned that I have been feeling depression as Cynicism and Pessimism that the a world that is best for all won't happen. I felt this way as a reaction to seeing people give up, argue for their limitations, not willing to change, look at a point, or learn from it. It came from seeing people talking about money, and the natural world like its a dead thing. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel depression when seeing people talk about the nature as a dead thing and talk about how important money is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel depression when I see people argue for their limitations and refuse to investigate themselves further. I also feel this way when people tell me how a world that is best for all is not possible. I also feel angry as I try to tell them why it is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel depressed when people tell me that a world that is best for all is not possible. I forgiv...

About applying your ability to see things into the future, and see future consequence. Bernard's Blog post http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2017/06/day-573-practical-living-explained.html