Yogan's Journey to Life

"We are all drug addicts. We are addicted to our minds, energy, thoughts." Drugs. Stimulation. Highs, lows. Delusions. Hallucinations. Addictions. Money. Imagine a man coming up behind you. Inserting a needle in your neck, injecting a drug. You feel high, good. Your high man! You feel happy for no particular reason! You don't know why or how! It's a drug man! You were drugged. It just happened. This happiness isn't real man! It's a drug. We have all randomly feel happy or sad. Imagine swallowing a depressant. You're depressed man! Why? I don't know! I just feel sad man. Why do I feel happy or sad? I didn't choose this! Who says I am to be happy or sad? Who decides? Not me man! So can this be real?! No man! It's not me man. I am an addict man! I want to feel happy or sad, man. I don't know how or why, but I want it man! Just make me feel sad or happy man! Do it to me, give it to me! I will do whatever man! Cars, sex, money, d...

I don't want to live.  I feel happy. So here's what came from my mind. So these words came up when I was giving myself the opportunity to see what is going on inside my mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the words 'I don't want to live' within and as me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the words 'I feel happy' within and as me. I do not need to be thinking I feel happy- If I was truly living, being here and expressing myself I would not need to be telling myself that I feel happy. This was a reaction.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the backchat as 'I don't want to live' to be connected to the backchat 'I feel happy.' I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate the feeling I call 'high' to the backchat 'I feel happy.' I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the feeling experience known as high within and as me.  When and as I am feeling 'high...