Yogan's Journey to Life

 Light worker facial expression when they are wrong about their intuitive reading of someone else. I remember this face of 2 different people when they were wrong about me, and I corrected them. I am realizing that I have this same kind of reaction, and it must be some preprogramming for this lightworker in general realm. When I was wrong about the first girl I kissed, I read her completely differently, I was devastated. If I knew who she really was I would not have kissed her. People put on masks. And because I had so must trust and faith in my reading of her, I felt embarrassed when I was wrong. Like extremely so, then I suppressed my memories, wanted to drop anything to do with her including our mutual friends. Like wanting to start over from scratch. Reset. This is a pattern for me, stemming from this preprogramming of when I am wrong in my reading of another, and I am heavily invested in that reading. I act on it. I take it very personally when my reading of another is wrong. ...

 So there's something that I have realized about when people go through trauma. The common response by people who go through trauma says that it changes them. And what I see is that one of the reasons why it changes them is because they are feeling certain things that they don't know how to stop. And this includes anger and blame. And the mere suggestion that people who go through traumatic events forgive their abuser, is already scoffed at, let alone the suggestion that they forgive themselves for the anger and hate/blame that they feel. I suppose it makes perfect sense in this humanity that we are today that we don't know how to go through an event like trauma, and be able to process it and revert back to how we were. Because if we did so then we would remain like children. We would be naive, we would be pure, and open hearted, and we would still believe crazy things like no one should be harm, and all life is precious, and all people are equal regardless of any differenc...

 So I stumbled upon something recently. It is about Fear. That fear can be experienced as a positive or negative experience. So the idea that Fear is only something negative is wrong. And because of what I learned about Anger some 2 years ago, that it can also be lived in a positive way, then it makes sense to conclude that perhaps all emotions/feelings can actually be experienced as positive or negative.  This is a revolutionary perspective. As it brings the focus more on energy and how we are perhaps choosing or living experiences based on positivity/negativity, so polarity. Because the end goal of the mind is simply to garner more energy for itself through experience, and it doesn't really care whether it is positive or negative.  A brain scientist might say that emotions/feelings are just chemical experiences in our bodies. To which I would say that if you look at how we actually relate to it on a meta-physical level, then it is interacting on the level of personality...

Self-forgiveness on Emotions, Feelings and Thoughts: ] I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I don’t know what I am doing I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel scared I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel nervous      I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel worried I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel alone I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel paranoid I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel surrounded I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel I can’t trust anyone I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abandoned I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel watched I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel spied on I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like being aware of my every move because someone...

We are all one and equal. Oneness and Equality requires giving up the ability to Feel emotions and Feelings such as Happiness, Excitement, Love, Joy, Sadness, Anger, Frustration, Irritation. Because your current ability to feel such things are all based in Reactions to something. They are not your Decision, they are not your Deliberate Creation. They only exist because you accept and allow it, because you only exist currently as an Observer. You are not the Directive Principle of your Life currently. You are existing purely as someone who is observing and experiencing Energy. Your entire life boils down to what you Feel, and Experiencing Energy. Do you agree with this truth? Given this, it is shameful, and it is idiotic, and silly, and simply a wasted life and a wasted time, since how many points did you participate in your Life that was merely because of energy? All of them. How many decisions did you make based on the Energy you Felt? All of them. Do you exist at all outside of thi...

In the past I have understood perfectly well that all Fear is unacceptable. I would explain it as a point where People say that you need fear in order to protect yourself from something like burning you hand on the stove. So you fear burning yourself. People would say such things, and call it good. So this is unnecessary because what I would say in response is that we can KNOW that our hand will burn and so we don't need fear. Like we won't be burning our hands on stove because we have no fear within us. So what I say is the truth, and the basic truth is that human beings have mind consciousness systems that are producing thoughts, feelings and emotions- and are completely directing what people should be doing, deciding, thinking and believing. And your experience of yourself is like you are watching a movie and you are following what arises within you like watching a movie. So fear to me is something that is more obvious to me, at least in the past, when I say all fear ...

So I have an interesting point to share. What I am seeing is that in my body there has been stored programming that has been unleashed when I started to change my posture, my voice, my general holding of my body. So I was someone quite hunched over with my eyes being droppy all the time and not speaking clearly and mumbling quite a bit. I focused some time to change these things, and what I am noticing is that all of this programming in my head/mind came out. And that now I am noticing this point and now I am focusing on doing the SF and to change the inner points of the mind/self. So I'm doing SF on thoughts, emotions and feelings I am having. So here is a cross-reference point for others, that its possible that mind points are hidden within such things as posture, and other physical ways of holding yourself or kind of existing/moving as. I would say in my case I needed to change my posture and how I moved myself in all of these ways directly and so then face all of these mind p...

I know, war is an extreme.  I have made the decision that its necessary to declare a war on feelings. This includes all feelings, including intuition, happiness, love, joy, excitement etc... Anything that involves your feelings about something or someone. Feeling like someone is bad or good, or someone is untrustworthy. Any kind of feeling that involves translating that feeling into a belief. So that means when I see someone who looks homeless, that I don't judge them as homeless and I don't make a feeling about them, or accept and allow a feeling about them for example. This includes when I see someone that looks Beautiful, that I don't see them as beautiful, or as trustworthy or good, or bad, or bitchy, or whatever. I don't think or feel anything about them, or anyone. Instead what I do is see directly here in real time what is going on, and who people are, and whats happening actually.  It is necessary to confront all feelings, because how else will expressions...

I am starting this Blog, with a Vlog... haha that rhymed! See below: So continuing on this point. I have seen how throughout my life, I very much cared about many women's opinion me and what they said to me or about me, cause of my interest in potential partners or women, since I am naturally aligned to desiring and being with a woman. So I can see how past girlfriends how what they said to me, I took it to my heart, deep into my heart. If they had a criticism of me, I kept it deep here in my heart, like a scar. It is there. It stays there. And its alive, and sensitive like a fresh wound. I remember one woman saying: Yogan! You don't know what you are doing! You want to change! But you haven't lived it yet! I took that to heart. I didn't stop to consider it or question it, or look who I am in relation to it. I immediately believed it, and believed her. Cause I cared about her opinion about me. And it made me feel real bad. Very bad. Like I am bad. She is rig...

Flustered and Clumsy I had an energy experience and it kind of got me stunned/locked in position. So I named the game. The names are Flustered and Clumsy. That is what I am feeling now as I write this. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Clumsy. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered being afraid of saying the wrong thing I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with saying something stupid. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with coming across poorly I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel Flustered with sounding dumb to my new friends I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel flustered while imagining messing things up with what I said and people uninvite me to a hangout, or I get ignored from future invites I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myse...

From my past relationships with women... I am afraid of saying or doing something in the heat of the moment and regretting it… I am afraid of doing or saying something I can’t take back… ...I accept the worst of me and the worst that I can do. I accept that it can happen. I accept that it can happen that I do say something that makes the relationships irreparable, that ends it, I can that accept that I can be saying right now as I caught myself saying it. I can accept that I just said/done such a thing.I can accept that I just lived the worst of me. I can accept what is happening right now. I can forgive myself for doing that. I can forgive myself even though there is a consequence that no self-forgiveness or self-change can undo. I can forgive myself even though the consequence is permanent. I can forgive myself wholly/fully. I forgive myself not for the purpose of undoing consequence, but because I did that, I created that consequence, and I accept that...

A moment where I had a chat scheduled and it didn't go according to plan and expectations.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of Guarantee I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of Scheduled I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of Planned. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of Expectations. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of Security as a Feeling I get from having things planned and scheduled. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live Security as having this plans and living in a planned life, instead of Security as always being Secure within myself WITHIN this moment, which may be unplanned, unstructured, unsettled, unstable. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear living Spontaneity and in the Unknown. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rel...

So this blog is inspired by the both the processes that others are walking and the process I have been walking. Its all under the umbrella of Desteni, the desteni process. Here are various links to the various websites that all cover various dimensions of this Process of becoming Self-aware as the physical, taking self-responsibility for oneself, one's mind, one's thoughts, emotions and feelings, and which collectively changes this world. www.desteni.org www.eqafe.org Mind Body Innverse Youtube Channel with Sunette  www.desteniiprocess.com www.destonians.com And many more groups on Facebook, Youtube Channels, and the Individual blogs from desteni members like mine that your reading right now! There is also the desteni forum where you can ask questions! www.forum.desteni.org So for today's blog I'm going to be ASSUMING something. I'm going to assume that you can CHECK and SEE your INNERVERSE, your inner self, your inner reality at any time! I'm going to ...

How would I describe Panic? Its something that takes you over. Its much stronger than just fear or worry. Panic really becomes you. You see through the eyes of panic. I noticed how even the taste of my tongue just resting in my mouth change and almost like the flavor of the air changed. I don't think the air really changed, what probably happens is that my perception changed through me being within the emotion. How I stepped out of panic was through my assertiveness and strength within me. I access it through my writings and speaking on what is best for all and oneness and equality. Its a point where I can stand absolutely and become very strong. Though this isn't the end of the story. I made a plan then to handle the situation that lead to the panic. Because you see, there was a situation that occurred that was very unfortunate, very surprising and unexpected. And I had to accept that it is happening. After stopping this reaction like I said above, I went into investigat...

Much of the Mental Health system is about the Reactive side of things. So like you won't be going to a mental health counselor to get the pointers to maintaining a good mental health. Some synonyms here in this context for good mental health could be: greater self-understanding, more directive in your life, a more stronger self, more perseverance, more courageous, not letting emotions/feelings take over your life, not falling into addictions, being more physical, enjoying the simple joys of life more, enjoying your body more, being more here and attentive to your life, have a deeper more intimate relationship with yourself. So in general, how we define mental health counselors, psychiatrists, and psychologists is that we go to them when we are really sick or really messed up in the head. We don't go to them for advice for proactive ideas for improving ourselves, but for reactive solutions to problems that took years upon years to create, or problems that arose from a traumati...

Feeling the feel of your feelings/emotion to get to whats real.

Today I learned that I have been feeling depression as Cynicism and Pessimism that the a world that is best for all won't happen. I felt this way as a reaction to seeing people give up, argue for their limitations, not willing to change, look at a point, or learn from it. It came from seeing people talking about money, and the natural world like its a dead thing. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel depression when seeing people talk about the nature as a dead thing and talk about how important money is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel depression when I see people argue for their limitations and refuse to investigate themselves further. I also feel this way when people tell me how a world that is best for all is not possible. I also feel angry as I try to tell them why it is. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel depressed when people tell me that a world that is best for all is not possible. I forgiv...

About applying your ability to see things into the future, and see future consequence. Bernard's Blog post http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2017/06/day-573-practical-living-explained.html

So today I had went through a similar experience as yesterday. Yesterday I posted an audio recording describing how yesterday I had identified depression as an emotion I felt. Today I identified Love as a feeling. I'm going to describe in detail tomorrow what I learned from this feeling. Today I'm going to give a bit of an introduction on why feelings must also be stopped. I understand how feelings, like Love are defended in this reality to the utmost degree. So I understand that it isn't so clear or obvious why I am doing what I am doing with emotions and feelings, equally. The way I like to look at it that makes most sense, is how the most truest form or act of love that could exist would be something like the Equal Money system, or someone who is looking to make sure that everyone is taken care of physically, in all aspects, facets and regard of being alive and having physical needs. True love would be working on ending starvation completely. Love in the form of feelin...