Yogan's Journey to Life

What I am in the process of doing is Giving up all Hope and then Placing Self-Trust Here. Specifically I am giving up the hope that anyone or everyone will make it in their process, will actually learn, grow or change. Even more specifically its the hope for real connections with people, since a real connection would require that person be real (me too of course), where there is that depth. I am giving up all hope that anyone will be real. And what I am doing is placing my self-trust here in me, in what I can do, create, and move in this physical reality. And what I am also doing is that I am going to do all of this Life Creation, and Self-Creation, and World System Creation in the Name of all of those who I basically loved or hoped for to make it, which is everyone really. So I do all of this in the Name of Everyone, in the Name of everyone's potential, even if in reality no one makes it, and all will Fall. Because me doing it, me Living it, Me being the Creation, being the ...

--> I had an interesting moment just earlier. Its difficult for me to write, probably in part for the same reason I am writing this blog. The reason being about this realization that I ask permission for myself to live, essentially. I ask permission to have my realizations about myself to be able to be lived and applied by me. I feel wrong and bad to even ask someone whether I can live and apply this realization I had on myself. This realization that I ask permission to even realize things about me. I see also how the same thing goes for asking permission to do bad things, where self-honestly I would not do those things, yet I want to from the perspective of the mind. Which is another layer, of the mind. And I can see how this asking for permission is really my mind granting itself permission. Where sometimes the mind may use a few words out of context to give itself permission (me) to do the thing it wants (I want). And I trust it, because I received permission, therefore ...

--> I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can escape consequence and escape the mind through a process of separating myself from the physical reality WITHIN my mind through simply accepting and allowing the mind completely as my God or Master, where I completely rely on the mind and allow every single thought as the accepted truth of me, not realizing I am accepting and allowing it, I can stop, and that I have not in fact lived or expanded myself but have reduced myself to a box within a compartment in the mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing thoughts because of the belief they are practical and support what is best for all, as obviously I am not being supported by thoughts, I am forgetting me, I am making the ultimate sacrifice in disregarding me. I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I cannot direct and ensure the manifestation of what is best for all if I take a backseat in the mind and si...