Yogan's Journey to Life

Talking with People, just learning about them should be normal. It is normal, just we may find it strange when it hasn't happened in so long. Like learning about someone, about things that may seem like insignificant facts from a certain point of view, can also seem from a certain point of view a Treasure Trove of words and experiences never seen, heard, or felt before. Maybe its about where someone has lived, that you never visited before or been to before. Maybe its about what someone does in their daily life, which tends to be their work/job and responsibilities. Maybe its about a person's interests and hobbies, what they know how to do, and what they do in their free time. Things, experiences, words, music you may never hear of otherwise. It can be simply hearing and understand what kind of a person a person is. Or it can be relating and sharing your own similar experiences, meeting someone who went through something similar or the same as you. It is just normal to just...

So in line with the recent posts and audio recordings, I am continuing with this topic of being overly agitated/activated/energetic. Now, like I had shared, many thing throughout my day activate/trigger me into this hyped up state. So on this topic alone I could write many blogs. Today's blog will be able social situations and gatherings, because today I faced this point. Now I have to be specific about the context here. So basically in a moment/middle of a conversation that is flowing, meaning that you speak and others respond to what you say, and in that moment you can respond to what they said in response. So this excludes moments where conversations don't flow or they drop flat, or they don't move. And in situations where there are no conversations, like everyone is sitting nearby one and another and not interacting. So that's the context. So in this moment, I become energetic, excited, motivated. This turned on like a light switch and energetic state. I am be...

Silence I can become very quiet. I can sit and listen to someone talking to me, as long as they are talking. And I can sit with them in silence. I have never done this before, but I would find it quite enjoyable. That I would live/be with someone, and we would never speak, yet we would communicate without words. Now that I went through a personal journey where I spoke and expressed me, I am looking what is required of me. Meaning that what the moment requires of me, whether it is to speak or not to speak. So to again be silent. And its simply based on what the moment requires. Its funny that I have a slight to resistance to not speaking. It's only slight. I find that I can drown my thoughts in silence. That the silence is all pervading, all consuming, a never ending dark pool of liquid. I have heard some people in my life say that to be silent, to not speak would be a torture, something that they can't do, and would lead to great stress and anxiety. I have s...

Social Relationships. So the title, social relationships, is redundant, isn't it? well, actually, you can have relationships that aren't social. Meaning that socializing doesn't occur, at all, in your relationships. So perhaps socializing did occur to a small extent in my past relationships, but I would say for the most part I haven't really created a full social relationship before, at all. So this is my Achilles heel. So it seems appropriate to write blogs regarding my process and what I realize, as I walk creating social relationships. So the idea of "creating" relationships, is already strange for me. So those words "create" "relationship" doesn't seem to fit together, naturally within me. I had existed most of my life where the relationships I had with people, sort of, fell into place. They just happened. There was no creation process involved. No real effort. It was the right place, at the right time. So I basically waited...

So a point regarding calling and meeting new people or strangers. There is one particular memory or moment in the past this is still active within meeting new people and creating new relationships with them. The first girl I kissed, we had a relationship that lasted a week. I was just entering college, and I was really excited and looking forward to making great friendships. She broke off our relationship, and afterwards, I had went to her room to speak to her, and told how I still saw her as a cool person and would want to continue our relationship in whatever capacity that she saw fit. Within that moment my body went into this position. My head tilted to the right, my arms felt heavy, like I couldn’t move them and my shoulders drop, and I was leaning on my right leg. I remember looking her in the eyes, and experiencing this shift of my body as more comfortable than if I had tried standing normally. So I expressed myself in that moment and took a stand in the capac...