Yogan's Journey to Life

 One of the things needed is strength. And the greatest source of strength is breath. People of the mind and of the current world system will tell you that strength comes from emotions like anger, or fear or love. And they will act that way. But that is not real strength, since emotions are just mined versions of the body's matter. The substance of the physical is the source that allows for the mind to even exist, and play out its illusions. The physical owns it all. Thus by standing with the physical, you own it all.  That is how we will change the world, through simple physical actions as physical beings. Where the physical takes over. No more allowing the realm of the mind to exist in these bodies. If you want to know real power, just breath. And end your mind. That is the one thing that normal people of the system cannot and dare not do, would be to end their thoughts or challenge their thoughts. Thus that alone is proof of the lie and of the enslavement.  So free you...

 I am back from my job again. Yesterday I wrote about my reflections from my reactions to my job/work. Today I was also focusing on stress again, and I was more successful in stopping the stress. At the end of the blog yesterday I finished with saying how I was breathing to stop positive energy. So I had trouble ending positive energy. I tried searching Bernards blog on topic keywords of positivity, and I found some useful points. One point is how the more negative you are then the more susceptible you are to positive energy. So I concluded that the high amount of positive high I felt was due to the collective stress I felt as negative energy during yesterday. So it was concluded that it was already done, so it was a outflow consequence. Another point in one of his blogs was about stimulation and how everything works on stimulation. Both the Physical world and the Mind operates on principle of stimulation. You can stimulate animals, plants, the body, and also the mind. So I applied...

"Emotions - together with thoughts, feelings, pictures, ideas – the mind in general was placed within each being so that we are able to be controlled and directed and never stand clear as free individuals – free from consciousness. Imagine yourself not experiencing any emotions within your participation in this world amongst others? Imagine what would happen when you state I desire, need or want nothing? Would anybody or anything be able to control or direct you? When the White Light was placed within each being's basic neurological system as mind consciousness systems (your neurology that directs you), at the same time as a generator (to move you) was placed all emotions. That way you are always feeding consciousness which then in turn feeds the constructs linked to our enslavement (systems, the White Light and global consciousness). What I am stating here specifically is that if you allow yourself to delve into the mind and participate within e...

You have the responsibility to do whatever it takes to make sure that Real Life comes through. No matter what it is you have to sacrifice, no matter what it is you have to give up, no matter what the dream is, or what the happiness is, no matter who you have to give up, the people, the family, the boyfriends, girlfriends, marriages, friendships, careers or money. You know when your compromising yourself and holding back your potential, no one needs to tell you this. Do you want a fucking real relationship and a real world where you can truly say anything, be forgiven, and forgive? I mean that's real fucking freedom. How the hell did we compromise ourselves so that we go for the second best, the having the compromised relationship, the compromised communication, hiding parts of ourselves and never being completely open and honest. Are you not good enough for that? Are you not good enough to give yourself freedom, 100% open communication, 100% expression? Place yourself fucking f...

I have been having an issue where its like my memory is gone. I don't see myself being sick/ill. This feels more like a Lose of Self. So, in this Video: Revenge of the Ego by Bernard Poolman, I remember him saying that at times we will find ourselves losing Faith in ourselves. And this describes what I feel, so I decided to listen to the recording today. So the recording is fairly long and it covers a fair amount of dimensions/topics. The point that stuck out to me was how the mind is vastly superior with its access to the Knowledge, Intellectualism, such as facts, or memory - or Memory. It has access to all of that information, and everything I have every done in the past, and everything I ever felt/thought and all of my reactions to everything ever. So it knows all of this. And I don't have that same level of access. But, Bernard said the one point that the mind fails is in with Breath- this will disrupt the mind- in Breath the mind cannot do anything. So if I try to Thin...

 People people will hurt you, cut you, punch you, make you cry, steal from you, make of you... make you laugh, cry with joy and love, sing, dance, play around, become goofy, explore different parts of yourself, smile and feel overjoyed! I always knew when I would open up to people that it would get to me. That I would have this thing which seems like weakness. Its gonna suck. Its gonna hurt. And I know it. I am in uncharted territories, I mean there's no guidelines here or rules on how to be or what's best. I only have myself in this. Am I making a mistake with this? Do I know what I am doing? I don't know. But I think that's its okay that I don't. At the same time... at the same time it feels right. Its my unique way of relating to people and supporting people. Its my expression. I guess. God it sucks, it sucks so bad to be kicked, to be screwed with. But at the same time its so good to connect, to reach out and laugh and say something. So FUCKING good....

  So this word Sacred Feminine is specific. I have a specific reference for that word. I know exactly what this word means to me. I have a reference on how to live this word. I have lived this word deeply in various moments of my life. The sacred feminine, I am using it to refer to the Real Femininity that is an expression of all Life, that we can live here as humans. Its something deep, real and certain. It is something that can exist here and lived very clearly. It is an expression here as oneself, with and as one's body. It is a self-relation, it is a self-movement. It is an embodiment of self, that changes our perception of things and how we take things in. The sacred feminine is not something lived widely by people. It is not widely found or widely seen. It is highly rare. Taking my life as proof to me, I see this to be the case. Yet I have seen the exception, the few who did live it for a moment. I am interested in living the expression that I am referring to with th...

So if you would have asked me, or if I would have asked myself, what Strength is Last Week.... I would have said/shown like standing up, being rigid, muscular, pushing, tough. But that's not all there is to Strength, and the current definition is not appropriate in certain contexts. So this is what I found, being gentle and embracing what is here, no matter who it is, what they are doing, what they said, what they lived, embrace and accept what is here, doing this.... doing this is the antithesis, the complete opposite to my average response of Strength. In the age of Donald Trump, that definition of Strength of being so masculine, being tough, pushing things through, being rigid, being sharp is clearly shown to be what is is. And that is the natural response for me. SO something that I have been doing unconsciously is breathing in sharply. In seemingly random moments. What I'm seeing here is this, that breathing sharply is me activating this strength, which plays out ...

So I'm writing this blog because of something I observed about myself as I got older, and observed about other people who are older than me. And what is leading me specifically to write NOW, in this moment is watching this video. See Link: Link So she started dancing ballet 70 years ago and she never quit. So something about age is funny. Like I mean, I am 29, I don't feel like I'm a different person when I was 13, because of my age or number. I'm still the same person, and the ways that I have changed is not because I'm older, its because of who I decided to be and my decisions to change, and what I decided to do in front of challenges and opportunities. So there are things that I love and will always love. Because why on earth would getting older change things that I love to do? It wouldn't. So its not strange at all for someone who is 80 year old or 90 years old to dance what they love to do, because they are the same person as before. Like  anoth...

Something I have lived is 5 compromises of relationship. I compromised myself. There are two definitions of compromise. The one is essentially to reach an agreement by both sides giving into some demands from the other, so that neither side fully got what they originally wanted. 1. an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions. The second definition which is the one that is used in this blog is when like when you compromise yourself, which means to give in or give up some very important things about you, something like being corrupted. 2. accept standards that are lower than is desirable. So the five compromises of relationship that I have lived 1. The compromise of Looking to Receive Approval, and Changing yourself in order to Receive Approval     I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change myself when I have received approval in whatever form, including applause, where in that moment of approval I...

This blog, I'm going to be remembering and sharing something good, something I would like to. What's great about music/dance is the surprise moment in it. The moment requires your full attention! When you are dancing with someone in a partner dance, someone is leading and someone is following. BOTH! Have to pay attention. I have lead dances and so its not boring I have to pay attention and play with it. I play with the rhythm, the pattern of the music I am dancing to. The fun part is listening to the music, following the beat and then BREAKING IT, and then going back INTO IT, and matching the beat, and then SURPRISING the person your dancing with. Are they HERE???  Are they paying attention? Can they FOLLOW? If I go fast now can they match it. If I go SUPER SLOW can they match it. Will they get annoyed? Are they disciplined? Can they be here in the moment? All of these things are revealed when I lead. And if they are a great follower, then I can really enjoy dancing. I kn...

This blog is dedicated to all of the relevant self-forgiveness recently in my days. I forgive myself to have fear and hesitation to do what I see is best. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hesitate removing myself from a situation where I was reacting heavily, so that I may work on myself and then later returning to the situation. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry about the future, what will happen, what is outside of my control. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not live my gifts, my LIFE within me, my EXPRESSION, my art within me, my creativity, my beauty within, ...to not live it within my Life, within my reality, with me, with others when such doors open. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto excuses and limitations. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for death, or something to just happen to me, before I SEE what I HAVE, and who I AM, and what I can DO wi...

Women, Girlfriends, Crushes, Secret Admirer I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love all these women throughout the years. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love some women because of how they looked. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love women because I believed I needed a lover, a wife, a partner. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to love someone because its what I am supposed to do. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see the unbearable pain within me while I was in love. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act out within this unbearable pain as love, and act on this unbearable pain. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put my body through hell because I wanted Love. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to myself to hold my body ransom through unbearable pain as love, in order to force myself to go after someone like ...

A Passion, a Anger, a Need, an Action, a Doing, a Tenacity, a Commitment... something like your very soul stirring within you... the agitation, the inability to sit still and do nothing. The Strength, the Call for action. This thing I am describing doesn't necessarily have to be here. I don't have to access it. I can just not call upon it, and it won't be here. Simple as that. As long as I call upon it, as long as I bring it here, live it here, it will be here. It takes my action, my initiation, my awareness, my movement for starting the fire, igniting the flames. It otherwise won't just happen most likely on its own. To live this everyday requires a decision everyday to live it. To write this blog everyday requires a decision to write it. To access the best of myself and the strength of this body requires me to call upon it. It won't happen otherwise, everyday. I can feel my heart beating faster. It has a physical effect, a physical activation. I am more...

Love is now a feeling I can identify clearly within me. I can see it within me as a trigger to this video game. I can see it trigger when watching this or that movie. I can see it trigger in my memories with this person. Love is a feeling, an energy, which doesn't need to exist. Looking at how it works, how it exists within me: it is triggered by various media. And the moments that I felt love as a feeling with another person, was also triggered by the moment, by the situation. One memory where I felt love as an energy was when I was laying down and holding my girlfriend at the time, the bed was comfortable. The image of the place was perfect. And I felt the energy I generated within me attached to this moment. What is interesting about feelings is that they are attached to only particular or specific moments. For example, you won't find this love when the same "loved one" is yelling at you. How useful can the feeling of Love be, when its not there when you need it?...

Remove the emotions from words. The mind is shit and emotions are shit. Though how to change yourself? Start with words. For every single word, remove the emotional meaning. Make it so that no words have any emotional meaning within you. Words like War, Business, Rivals probably have emotional meaning for you. I say probably because its possible you never encountered these words before. Its possible you are still just a kid that never used these words and so never placed any emotions in them. So the same can be true for you. The goal is to remove all the emotions from all the words that you have placed emotions within. Then you will place a physical definition in the word. This you do by seeing what the word actually means physically, and that you make that what the word means. For example, with War, you may see that war is something bad and that people die and it doesn't need to exist. You feel resistance, emotion, anger, uncomfortable, irritation, annoyance. Remember this is an...

Right now, neither the vast majority of men or women are fully living their sexuality. This is something difficult to understand. As a guy, the normal orgasm ejaculation seemed great. Though in comparison to actually expressing myself sexually, it was puny, like nothing. And if you haven't lived it yet yourself, you won't understand. Though I did it, so its possible to do. In the beginning I followed the basic Desteni principles. Do not react. So I did self-forgiveness on all reactions I had, which included with sexuality. If i reacted to seeing a big breasts of a woman, I would do self-forgiveness. And so on and so forth. Every single time. Then I started practicing masturbation while still doing self-forgiveness on any sexual thought. Without relying or using thought, I relied on the physical, my physical body. I found that the natural liquid secretion from my penis was enough for creating lubrication and it just felt good physically. I didn't need to think of anything....

Oneness and Equality means that you are willing to do anything for the whole. You are willing to give up privileges, rights, if these things stand in a way of what is best for all. You are willing to follow rules and laws if these support what is best for all. You are willing to give up guns, drugs, alcohol, sex, freedom if it meant what is best for all. You have to consider the relativity of things. Relative this. Right now the world has seen incredible expansion and growth. If oil/gasoline was never discovered, we wouldn't have all that the richest 50% has access to on planet earth. Do you know what oil and gasoline is? It is the living body, the living tissue of plants and animals that has been stewing for a fucking long time. It is a very Condensed form of energy that humans just found. But it took a fucking long time to create. So you do the math. Things are relative. Freedoms are relative. They are relative to what our economic luxury and our environment has to offer. Hum...

The Earth, the air, the water, the land, the nature, the plant. Animals, the body, the muscles, organs, cells. Physical. To serve this physical reality. To serve this body. To live for the physical. Living as the physical. Living as the hands, arms, legs, toes, chest, breath, body. Moving, doing what is needed for the physical. Imagine people living as Physical. Imagine all physical needs taken care of. Imagine growth and expansion of the physical. Imagine the nurture, care of the physical. Imagine Living as the physical. Imagine living no more as mind. Imagine Living no more as what we think. Imagine all definitions we think, opinions we think DROP. Imagine Only Being Here, Physical. Imagine only the physical is here. Lets stop serving the mind, and instead use the Mind to serve the Physical. No more separation.

I have this fear within me of being alone within who I am, without. So I am afraid of being who I am, and being the only one like that in my environment, my without. Because I am reacting with fear, I want to react by changing to be like my environment. I want to fit in. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of being alone within being the only one like me in my environment, my without. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to change who I am to be like my environment, because I am afraid of being alone, as the only one like me in my without, my surroundings. When and as I see myself wanting to change who I am to be like my environment because I am afraid of being the only one like me - I stop and I breathe - I realize it is dishonest to change because I am afraid - I realize it is dishonest to be someone because I want to fit in - I realize I would still be afraid of not fitting in, even when I fit in - I realize that fitting in does not re...